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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 2 (August 23rd) PPV RP Archive
BT Saga 4; The Moral and Artistic High Ground Congruence. Promo 101: Sex Sells
Author Message
Guppy Parsh Offline
Person Against The Rape Of Lizards



XWF FanBase:
Kids, disabled people, casual fans

(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by most adult male fans)


#1
08-20-2014, 05:07 AM

Guppy found himself in his bedroom once again. After Stevil dastardly excused himself for a few hours, Guppy needed to find somewhere to retreat to. He didn't want to spend time focusing on his bouts of selective memory. He needed to do something to take his mind off of his father's death and the legal documents he signed but had no knowledge of, so he picked up the letter he was writing before. He picked up his pencil and bit the eraser. The rest of his letter wrote itself.

These KKK guys were really nice when I called them on the phone, Wednesday. They were coming up with all kinds of plans to stop the looting. I could tell that this former grand wizard, David Duke, was a really nice guy. He told me that the guys looting all the stores were ‘Jewish controlled thugs’ and he got really excited when I told him I knew who their leader was, Superman. He said that Superman’s real name is Clark Kent and that if there was anyone who would commit crimes under the disguise of a ‘righteous race issue’ it would be him.

Eventually we agreed to meet at my house, and he would find a way to take down the criminals. When David and the rest of the KKK showed up they came up with the plan of tying the looters to trees so they couldn’t rob or hurt people anymore. It sounded like a good plan to me so I grabbed the rope that I found and it turned out it was more than enough rope! The KKK thanked me and rode in to Gotham on horses. The policemen just watched as the KKK did their jobs for them and subdued all the bad guys.

David Duke returned later that night with tears in his eyes. He told me that one of the looters was accidentally tied to a tree by the neck and he died. It turns out that the news took that detail and ran with it. They started shaming the KKK and saying they were a hate group. He looked like he needed a hug, so after I hugged him I told him that Superman probably made them run that story because his plan got foiled.

David wiped his tears away and recited saying he learned as a child, “Don’t cry over Jewish controlled propaganda.” I’m glad he calmed down because then he went on to say that I was now an honorary member of the KKK and that I could call him and his boys whenever I wanted.

It was my first invitation to a superhero team, now I was crying. He gave me this really cool looking executioner costume for Halloween. He also said there was going to be a luncheon on Saturday and that I could go if I wanted, but I had to turn him down because that’s the day of my big title match. Anyway, it was getting really late so I let David sleep on my couch. When I woke up he had already left but he left me a note about how he has always felt like a bad person for his entire life, and he thanked me for letting him have the moral high ground for the first time ever.

I didn’t really understand what he met by that, but usually being a superhero is a thankless job. I’ll take what I can get! :<)!

I put it down next to the other thank you cards, and I saw of yours there too. I saw a rope and one of your cards in the same day, so I took it as a sign that I had to check up on you! I hope you come visit soon, Wednesday!

Guppy fin.

Love,
Guppy!


Guppy bit the eraser of his pencil.

KNOCK!

“Come in!”

The door brutishly swung open and the darkest entity, the self-proclaimed Based God of promo directing, Stevil viciously stepped into the room of horrors. “Guppy, I’ve been thinking a lot about Gotham, this Road to Xtreme concept, and what it means to be a champion. I believe I’ve found the perfect way to cover all those bases in a promo without coming off preachy or cliché.”

“That’s great, Stevil!”

Stevil smiled wickedly, “I’ve been watching all of Miss Joy’s promos on YouTube to distance myself artistically from this whole Dead Father Parable, she has a bunch of dating tip videos and she begs people to leave comments, but that rarely ever happens. They’ve inspired me, Guppy. There is so much we can learn from her promos. She comes off as someone who is very wise, but she is brief. Brevity is the soul of wit, Guppy!”

“Oh, maybe we could do a Shakespeare promo!”

“No, Guppy, I’m afraid I have to drop another truth bomb on you. Nobody gives a fuck about dead people. Once you’re dead your words and legacy mean nothing because you can no longer profit from them.”

“You just quoted Shakespeare, Stevil.”

“No, I just quoted my magnum opus. I coined the phrase ‘Brevity is the soul of wit’ when I scored a pizza party at a Pizza Hut on a scale from one to ten and pretty much just left it at that.”

“I must have been thinking of a different saying.”

“Anyway, as I was saying Miss Joy is an inspiration. I would ask you to lay down for her, but I know you’re too honorable for that, however, I noticed something in one of her promos for this week that needs to be addressed."

Stevil sadistictly walked over to Guppy’s personal computer and cruelly clicked on Joy’s promo.

(08-15-2014, 11:09 PM)Miss Joy Said: FUCK!


FUCK!


OH FUCK!!!



DON'T STOP!!!



DON'T EVER STOP!!!



SMACK MY ASS!!!



FUCKING CHOKE ME!!!



FUCK!!! FUCK!!! OH FUCK!!!




The man's moaning and girlish screaming stops once he finishes. The sweaty stranger then falls off Joy, looking like he just collapsed from a heatstroke. Once he comes to, he attempts to cuddle and comfort Joy.



Man: That was AMAZING!



Joy: Yeah, the best 30 seconds of my life.


An unsatisfied Joy says sarcastically while pushing away young stud.

“Guppy, what did you think of that?”

“It wa-,”

“Doesn’t it just fill you with raw emotion? Don’t you just hate her? Does it make you think?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, the answers are yes, Guppy. If you keep watching it turns out Joy is a real bitch and an alcoholic. Joy really needs a man, Guppy. Miss Joy needs someone to hold her; this promo can only be taken one way, Guppy.”

“How?”

“Guppy, this promo was a challenge. Graphic sex has been a staple in wrestling promos for years, and wrestlers that involves the high art of pornography almost always gain the artistic high ground going into their matches. She’s challenging you to take this a step further.”

“What’s a step above that?”

“Anal sex, but we’re not going to give her the promo she wants to see, Guppy. There isn’t any artistic merit in playing into your opponent’s hands,” Guppy let out a sigh of relief; he had never done a porno before and he didn’t really want to start then, “One step above isn’t enough. We need to break the staircase. She’s taken one step, but we’re going to push the envelope. We’re going to leap up the rest of the way in a single bound.”

“What exactly do you mean, Stevil?”

Stevil winked sickeningly, “I’m going to need you to shit in my mouth.”







Guppy didn’t know what to say. He was flattered, but he had never once thought of pooping into someone else’s mouth...it just seemed too evil, unless someone liked how poop tasted I guess. Maybe Stevil went to one of Brodie Tyler's pizza parties?

Stevil depravedly turned on the video camera.

“Wait, now? Stevil, I can’t poop right now.”

Stevil savagely handed Guppy a cup of dreams with some sort mysterious liquid inside. “Drink it and take off your pants.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a laxative, Guppy.”

“Like in 3 Ninjas?”

“The original one, not the one with Hulk Hogan.”

“I liked that one, but are you sure it’s safe?”

“Didn’t you prescribe this stuff to constipated people, Guppy? If you can give it out you can take it. I’m the one who’s going to eat shit here, Guppy. I’m doing it for a greater artistic purpose. I’m willing to eat shit to tell the perfect story here. This is imagery. Do you trust me, Guppy?” Stevil had a shit-eating grin of evil on his devilish face. “Or do I have to dig up your father's grave and hold him captive?”

“I trust you.”

Without a second thought Guppy drank the laxative and pulled down his pants.


Guppy fin.

[Image: H1oMImx.jpg]

16-4
XWF Top 50 of All-Time (#22 on 2015 and 2017 editions, #26 on 2021 edition)
1x RTX/Ruler of the Road to Extreme Xtreme WORLD Champion
2x Trio Tag Champion (1x as Tri Bute /w Ms. Diaz, Ms. Snow Pharaoh, and Mr. Supernova) (1x /w Benito Angelo and Jervis Cottonbelly)
1x Ark of The Covenant Champion
Winner of Gaybe Lincoln's XWF Tag Team Tournament /w Scully
Leader of the PAT-RO-oL's Anti-Rapist Division




Shoutout to Graves for the banner

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Gator (08-23-2014), Miss Joy (08-20-2014)




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