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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 3 (August 24th) PPV RP Archive
You Dumb Cunt
Author Message
Steve "KingSlayer" Davids Offline
Steve Davids



XWF FanBase:
Teens, some men, few kids

(booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)


#1
08-19-2014, 05:11 PM


So there I stood. The briefcase remained firmly placed in my grasp and my Television Championship was upon my shoulder. For now at least.

A message came through from Tommy Gunn at that point, my iPhone lit up.

It read:

‘Hey Steve, hoping I don’t have to save your white ass again. Anyway I am going to send you through some directions a bit later, but get yourself over to Arizona by tomorrow if you can,’

And so I did. I spent the following day making my way to Phoenix, the location where I would defend this shiny old thing. I quickly checked into my hotel to get a shower and let Tommy know that I would be at the location within the next half hour.

I got there 40 minutes later. Tommy wasn’t pleased.


“Damn Steve, I was certain I was going to have to save you from more danger. I’m worried this friendship’s becoming a bit too much like Mario and Peach y’know,” Tommy said sarcastically whilst trying not to laugh.

“Damn you Tommy, I was in that dungeon of theirs for over a week, thanks for your help by the way! Oh and why the hell is the location we’re meeting at a god damn KFC?” I asked as we shook hands and went inside.

I felt a bit overdressed. Tommy wore jeans and a t-shirt, you know, normal clothes. Well I say normal but he did have a black hat on with ‘cunts’ written in yellow on it. I’m not sure if you can call that normal at all actually. I thought we might be heading to a bar so I felt the need to suit up. I could already tell I was going to get grease on my shiny black tie.

“Well Steve, man fancied some chicken alright? It’s a shame it’s taken you two days to get your dumb ass here. You know you have a big match this weekend don’t you? Well clearly you do because yet again you felt the need to bring your fucking title belt and briefcase with you. I wish you would stop waving those things around in my face like a stripper with double d’s man,”

“Well I’m sorry Tommy but you know what people are like, things keep getting stolen from me and I would love to see a cunt try to rob me when you’re sat opposite me with your hand in a bargain bucket,”

We sat down at an ordinary table in the corner, away from the majority of the hassle. The camera man following us made it rather awkward when near people, and I did want him to get all of this on tape because well, as always, I had a lot to say.

As I dug into my wicked zinger burger, Tommy put down his piece of chicken for a second, and I mean literally a second - he really loved chicken, who would have known? He then asked me the question I was waiting for.


“So, The fucking Brotherhood, let me guess they want you back to fight for them and all that jazz?”

“No. They did however feel the need to interrogate me for quite a while. Although, it wasn’t quite as bad as I had thought it would be. I did not even see the King of Darkness himself merely his sidekick Enigma,”

“Not even that dude you fuck over time and time again?”

“Cain? No. Did not see him either. Enigma merely asked me some questions, torturing me a wee bit, before letting me go,”

“Why didn't you fight him?”

“Damn Tommy, I had been given fuck all water and food for a week and you’re still worried about why I didn't kick the shit out of him. The guy let me go, give me a break,”

“I just hope you know where your loyalties lie,” that comment really got to me, but I knew Tommy doesn't back down from an argument so I chose to let it go.

“Oh snap,” Tommy’s phone lit up and vibrated on the table. It was from Paul Heyman. He wiped his face and hands with one of those wipes they give you that make you feel even greasier than before and opened the message.

“What?” For some reason asking Tommy a question always felt like detonating a bomb.

“That dumb cunt’s only gone and done another promo! Please rip him down in KFC Steve, I’m begging ya. I’m sure it will be an XWF first,”

“We spend a lot of time calling people a dumb cunt. AND, wait so I can’t go to a dimly lit room with just candles to shoot him down? I have to do it in a greasy fast food restaurant?"I smiled, there was something about this that I found slightly amusing.

Tommy simply nodded and grinned like a child being offered ice cream.

I sighed but reluctantly accepted. So Tommy played parts of the promo that I might find of interest back so that I could merely, correct and destroy Gator with words before I destroy him with violence this Sunday.


“Before you start Steve, I have been meaning to ask, did you find your brother at all?” Tommy asked sincerely.

“No. I am going to continue searching, I am hoping he could be around these parts. He used to come and join the crowds and watch me all of the time apparently. I just hope it’s not too late,” I held in a tear, I was scared for my brother’s life after his recent suicide attempt.

Tommy nodded. I nodded back as I composed myself.


(08-19-2014, 12:37 PM)Gator Said: ”I’m surprised he even showed up. Sat on his ass for 4 weeks getting that belt all nice and shiny, not defending it once. And now, he’s here! His friends The Brotherhood even gave him a cameraman.”

“Y’know something guys? I find it cute that you two hang out so much together. I am sure you go on double dates with all of those ladies you’re winning over but what I want to know is… without getting too personal is, Gator… do you have down syndrome?”

Tommy tried not to burst out laughing at that point.

“You see, i’m sat here with my good friend Tommy Gunn and we can’t help but wonder how someone can be such a dumb cunt without being in one way or another. So I have decided I think you should get yourself checked out because I reckon under that mask of yours is a fucked up down syndrome face to match the things you have been saying. You see, two weeks ago I defended my championship against Cain, and then I was kidnapped. What more do you actually want from me? Sure the belt’s shiny, but that’s because it’s made of gold. I wouldn’t expect you to know anything about holding something valuable though you worthless piece of shit because let’s face it, the most valuable thing you hold is your friendship with a Greek man. Well let me tell you this as a Brit, being friends with a Greek isn’t all that it’s cut out to be because sooner or later you’ll be bailing him out of money troubles and he’ll be sponging off you just like Greece does to the rest of Europe. Seriously, it won’t be long before we’re holding rock concerts to raise money for those poor sons of bitches,”

I smiled as Tommy moved onto the next piece of footage.

(08-19-2014, 12:37 PM)Gator Said: “I try. Honestly, I didn’t realise Davids was such a dirty talker, thought he’d be more of waiting in a dark alley with a flashlight under his chin, telling spooky stories.”

“I genuinely do not even know where to begin. You really do not know a single thing about me. Am I a dark human being at times? Yes. But do I have a sense of humour? Yes. Do I speak my mind? Yes. If you think I am one of those guys who tells one dimensional stories about how they rule the world or how they are god then I suggest you go and find Cain because I am far, far better than that. My past and history are dark. My present may well be even darker. Yet if a man surrounds himself with that darkness 24 hours a day then he goes to the darkest of places. Places that I have seen. I do not want to go back there. Nobody does. They might well even be worse than the likes of Phoenix, Arizona… Oh, wait,”

Gunn rolled his eyes and shook his head. He knew I was just baiting for a reaction.

(08-19-2014, 12:37 PM)Gator Said: “He said he was Enigma’s bitch since last Monday, and that’s all he prepared? He must have known he would have to defend the title sooner or later, and instead of preparing some big speech about how he deserves the belt and shit, we get sub-par trash talk.”

T: “He did make it up on the fly; he was just released from Enigma’s dungeon.”

“I know but if I was a champion, I would be prepared for anything. After the PPV, I’ve got a match with Waldo, I know what I’m going to do. Me and Mazzy agreed for a match against NBR, I know what I’m going to do there, and I don’t know my opponent after that, but I’m ready to fight. I just find it lazy that he’s been bent over in front of Enigma for a week, and he didn’t once think, ‘I’ll be defending my belt at the PPV, maybe I should find the time in between these butt fuck sessions and write something of worth.’ It’s just annoying.”

“I am sorry but the shit coming out of your mouth is getting more and more fucking confusing by the second. Whilst you’re being tortured by your enemies, the last thing I am thinking about is what I need to fucking say when I finally get out of there. Sure, I thought about how I had a big match at Relentless, but I certainly was not worried about whether I could prepare a Braveheart speech in time for our match. You see Gator, whilst I love to talk, as I have clearly shown. Once you get in that ring, it’s not words that win wars, it’s these,”

I held up my fists and smirked.

“How do you expect me to prepare when I am in a fucking dungeon? And what are you talking about butt fuck sessions? Are you saying that I was raped because I certainly didn’t fucking kidnap myself now did I you dumb cunt. God I have said the phrase dumb cunt a lot but it’s the best way to describe you. Write something of worth? Well for a sense I am not even sure that’s a very good sentence, but why on earth would I need to write when as your friend Todd so kindly pointed out, I made it up on the fly. Oh and I don’t know if you have tried writing when your hands are tied together around the back of a chair but it’s not particularly easy. I love that you said PPV instead of Pay Per View, you actually speak how you write a text now, is that right? Well I suppose there’s no teaching a dumb cunt with down syndrome…”

I shrugged my shoulders as Tommy sent over the final bit of the video.

(08-19-2014, 12:37 PM)Gator Said: “Davids talks about how friends will betray each other. Funny, he stuck around when The Brotherhood was crumbling and then he joined the Heyman Alliance. I wonder how long it will take before he betrays them as well. Now, I know what he said. Better to have Duke as an ally than an enemy, but Heyman? Is Heyman that much of a threat to Steve that he rather spoon him at night than actually be his own man? I can’t stand lapdogs... But, I’ll talk more about this in detail soon enough.”

“I did not leave The Brotherhood for The Heyman Alliance. The original Brotherhood lived and died with Duke and I. We chose to end the group because it was no longer necessary for us to work together in that alliance. He moved onto join The Black Circle, I rejected the opportunity and went solo for a long period of time. Until Paul Heyman came knocking on my door, and this is where your stupidity is shown yet again. Duke was a great ally, yes. But, do you know who the greatest ally of them all is? Paul Heyman. That man opens doors of opportunity. He always does what’s best for number one, himself. But he also does what’s best for number two, his alliance. Whilst Heyman and I do not spoon, I accept the joke for what it is. Bravo. I am no lapdog though, you see I benefit from this alliance as much as he does because, well look at what I have achieved so far. A championship belt, a briefcase. Oh and just wait until you see what I WILL achieve. It’s only a matter of time before the Universal Championship is dangling on my other shoulder. I have no doubt that this will all be too much for you to understand, you dumb cunt, but I figured I would at least try to explain myself to you, not that I have to… Hey Tommy!?”

“Yes, Steve?”

“What do we think of Gator?”

“Shit!”

“What do we think of shit?”

“Gator!”

“Thank you!”

“That’s alright! We hate Gator, we hate Gator!”

The two of us left KFC, still chanting. We managed to get a few local fans to join in with us as we headed back to the hotel.

[Image: Gtfmgih.jpg]

3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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