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Guppy Parsh · (08-21-2014)

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

“Stevil, it has been five. Now will you tell me where my father is?”

“Go away, Guppy!” Stevil’s murderous sobs were louder than sound, “Haven’t you hurt my feelings enough today?”

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

“I said go away! You monster! YOU MONSTER!”

KNOCK!

The door of the trailer of torture rattled from the force of Guppy’s scorned fist.

KNOCK!

The entire trailer of decimation shook, “Stevil, you have ten seconds to open this door before I break it down and take my father back.”

“Alright, you can come in,” Stevil wickedly opened the door of doom. His tears of death appear to have dried, “I don’t have your father, Guppy.”

“Why did you flip out when I asked then?”

“I have a short fuse.”

“Like in Happy Gilmore?”

“Sure; Guppy, I’m sorry about the way I acted. Nobody likes a crazy director. I’m just under a lot of stress. I lit a few candles and now I’m all fine and mellow.”

“Are you sure you’re done freaking out? You were just calling me a monster ten seconds ago.”

“Yeah, I’m Zen now.”

“You really aren’t holding my father captive?”

“Nope, I wouldn’t even know where to look for him.”

Guppy studied his surroundings, his father had to be here somewhere. A bat’s instincts were never wrong. “So you wouldn’t mind if I took a look around?”

“Guppy, we really don’t have time for this. Your match is in four days and we haven’t finished a single promo.”

The cold reality was beginning to set in. Stevil may have his father, but Guppy’s job could be in jeopardy if his contractual obligations weren’t fulfilled.

“If you have the artistic high ground going into your match on Sunday you’ll be able to approach the ring with a richer and more well-rounded Weltanschauung. I don’t want you lose your city or die, Guppy. If we use time looking around my trailer to see who I have or haven’t held captive there, we lose that time for our promos.”

Guppy nodded, but he couldn’t help but think something still felt off about this entire ordeal. He still had questions. “Um, Stevil, I’ve been wondering about something and now that you calmed down maybe you could answer this. You said last night that the promos could be about whatever I wanted, what happened to that?”

“I think you’re misremembering, Guppy. After we clinked glasses we had a long talk about camera angles and imagery. We also talked about your shortcomings as a person, and you said I was a visionary with an eye for detail. It wasn’t long before we came to a mutual agreement that I should direct all your promos for you from now on and I’d receive sixty percent of all the money you make,” Stevil smiled sadistically and winked wickedly, “There’s even documentation of it.” Stevil perilously pointed at a stack of papers on his table of demise.

“How come I don’t remember any of that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care either. To be fair though, even if nothing I just said really happened would you really think you of all people should be directing a promo? Imagine if that ‘Why?’ business ended up in the finished product and Dominic answered your question, it would have been the worst promo of all time. It wasn’t supposed to be about why your father wanted you to take a dive, Guppy. The promo was about how you’d do the right thing regardless of what your father wanted.

I’d even go as far to say that it’s extremely obvious why your father wants you to lie down and if he explained himself anyone who watched the promo would feel insulted. Do you think your audience needs you to directly explain everything to them, Guppy? Do you think they’re that stupid, Guppy? Must we dumb everything down?”

“I don’t think anybody is dumb.”

“Good, we won’t have to waste their time and ours with needless exposition then. Anyway with that said, I think we should come at a different angle with the promo. I’m not really feeling Dominic’s performance as your father, so I’ve released his father and told him he was free to leave. The more I think about the promo we were shooting the more I come to realize that at its core it was flawed. Who cares if some guy that barely looks like your father wants you to lie down? How is that an interesting promo? Guppy, I’m going to need you to bring in your real father for this.”

“My real father?” A wave of confusion splashed above Guppy’s head. What was so confusing?

“Yes, so give him a call, go on. Saturday is only getting closer.”

Guppy reached into his pocket and pulled out his Bat-phone, but after a minute or so of scrolling through the contacts to no avail a revelation crashed into Guppy’s skull. He couldn’t believe that such a prevalent theme in his life could be overlooked so easily. How could he ever forget the second most traumatic moment in his entire existence? Was he really that careless? Has his obsession with the safety of the city really gotten to him?

Guppy didn’t want to say anything, but Stevil had to know. “My father is dead.”

Stevil devilishly said nothing. He just evilly exited the trailer of turmoil and sickeningly slammed the door shut behind him.

Guppy fin.

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