With a martini in hand "The Scourge" Scott Charlotte sits in front of the camera with a smile on his face. He looks extremely excited.


"Hello and welcome kind ladies and chaps to the pilot episode of Therapy. This is the greatest night in XWF history as the newest ratings hit will take over. Or internet hits. Whatever the internet equivalent to ratings is. Karma? Upvotes? Likes? Whatever! You see I filmed this very special episode with the charming and brilliant Griffin MacAlister who was more than happy to assist me with the production. The only problem is that when I sent in the tape to the headquarters for Madness it must have gotten lost in the mail or they lost their minds. Now that I think of it they did send something back stating that I should send them a time machine as well for them to properly play my VHS.....no matter. I give you, the premiere episode of Therapy! Starring "The Scourge" Scott Charlotte with a cameo from ol' Griffy boy!"



Scott walks off camera and pushes an old TV set you'd see an AV club member push into a classroom. He plugs up the TV and turns it on as the static filled picture comes on screen and sound fills the room. Scott grabs the VCR and picks it up. He blows a tremendous amount of dust off of it. He plugs it up and puts the tape in. The screen turns blue and then Scott presses play. A moment goes by and the video plays with a very cheesy opening theme song and opening credit.






______________________________________________________________





THERAPY WITH "THE SCOURGE" SCOTT CHARLOTTE!!!!!



and Griffin MacAlister








The screen goes through an assortment of pictures with Scott kissing hands and shaking babies as the music plays through. There is an obviously photoshopped picture of Scott and Griff hugging it out as the face of Griff is on that of an obese black man. The song fades and Scott is now holding a microphone standing in front of the camera backstage.



"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever episode of Therapy with your host "The Scourge" Scott Charlotte! After consulting with my agents I've decided to transform this magnificent idea into a surprise in your face talk reality show! Apparently that name was too long for the title screen so we settled with Therapy. Why they recommended that name I have no idea! What's wrong with a little bit of fun in the world? A little bit of chaos? On the scale of life I am the one on the chaotic good side unlike Anarchy who places himself on the chaotic evil. People seem to think we are two sides of the same coin with our similar looks, but I don't see it. He's just a clown who needs a haircut. I am more of a clown with class. I'm just here to have a good time and maybe break a few bones in the process. It's the healthy thing to do or at least that's what my former doctor said...from my perspective of that conversation."




Scott proceeds to smile and point to his left. He gets so excited that he clicks his heels together and runs. The camera follows as Scott runs towards Griffin MacAlister who is minding his own business smoking a cigarette.




"Griffin! Hello my good chum! This, ladies and gentlemen, is the first volunteer to be on my new show. He spoke up and said how much he'd hate to do it so I decided to give him the opportunity to air his grievances on the very show he did not want to participate in. Say hello to the camera Griff!"











"Beautiful. That is a class act there. So, tell me, what's on your mind?"





Griffin: 'Sides thinkin' you're a fuckin' nut that needs to invest in a better hearin' aid so that when someone flat out refuses to participate in your bullshit "therapy sessions" you can actually hear them... not much man.




Scott just nods as if Griff just gave him the best answer he's ever heard.




"I couldn't have said it better myself! So, any juicy stories you'd like to reveal of your former tag team partner Sebastian Duke?"





Griffin: There's not too much that's a secret. Everyone knows he's a serial killer and that he burned my brother alive in front of me. People know I wish the man dead and it's only a matter of time 'fore I kill that son of a bitch. So there ain't much to say that isn't known man.




He completely ignores this response.




"How about your reasoning as to why this time around Scott Charlotte will become the top star of this company?"




Griffin lets out a laugh and Scott awkwardly joins in.




Griffin: That's got about as much chance of happenin' as Peter Griffin has goin' a day without parm or dong worshiping the devil. The only reason Scott Charlotte would become a champ is because he's a god damn delusional fucktard who'd dream he's a champ after being knocked the fuck out in yet another match he lost.




The smile fades from Scott's lips. He shakes his head and smiles reassuring himself.




"I'm sorry I must be deaf. You meant to say that I am the greatest of all time? Or that Scott Charlotte could be your tag team partner any time? Or that-"




Griffin: Scott Charlotte better get to steppin' before I shove this twelve eye, steel capped, blue rub-off Grinder, straight up his ass.




Griffin then proceeds to flip Scott the bird and walk away. Scott grabs him by the shoulder.




"THIS INTERVIEW ISN'T OVER!!"



Bad decision. Griffin turns around and clocks Scott right on the jaw. He tumbles and Griffin walks away. The camera pans down to Scott holding his face as he begins to laugh with glee. The video stops.



__________________________________________________________




The camera pans out to Scott who is smiling.



"You see. Perfect. Beautiful. Worthy of millions and millions of fans. That is A class acting from Griffy. WASN'T HE THE BEST! I'd love to just pal around with him and play fight like that again. Maybe next time I'll punch him and then his teeth will fly out! Oh wouldn't that be something? I'm sure we'll see each other again. Well, thanks for watching kids. Tune in next time as I will head over to Morbid Angel's house and catch him in the tub! You won't believe what shade of red it is! Ta-ta!"



Fades to black.