Agony
- vs -
Martin O'Connor
Standard Match
GUEST REF: Commander Riker
Finally the crew has made it into the Holodeck!
The inside of the Holodeck is an exact replica of a standard XWF event in a normal looking arena. In fact, the inside of this arena is modeled after the world famous Madison Square Garden where some of wrestling history's biggest moments have taken place!
Commander Riker enters the "ring" as he is set to be the special guest referee for the following match.
Riker: I want to make it clear ahead of time that I'm not going to tolerate any underhanded tactics during this match up. I'm going to be a stern, but fair, referee and officiate this match to the best of my abilities for what I believe a "standard match" should emulate. I need Agony and Martin O'Connor to know that I've got my phaser set to stun and I will not hesitate to use it if the need arises. If a weapon gets picked up or a hold is not broken by my 5-count, then I will not hesitate to take action against you. If there are repeated offenses, I will disqualify you and have you removed from this vessel immediately. I hope both of the competitors have heard me loud and clear.
With that, we see Agony enter the Holodeck through a pair of double doors that opens out of thin air and then vanishes once he's inside. He enters the ring and next comes Martin O'Connor through the same double doors that reappear for a second to allow him access before they vanish again.
Martin slides into the ring but is caught with a clubbing blow to the back of his head before he can even stand!
Riker: Hey! This match has not begun yet! STAND BACK!
Agony puts his hands up and backs away like he's done nothing wrong.
Martin angrily gets to his feet and waits for Riker to signal for the bell, which he does, and then both wrestlers charge each other. Martin goes low and takes Agony down with a double leg takedown but Agony shifts his weight to roll over and get on top of Martin. Agony blasts Martin in the face with a closed fist.
Riker: Hey! Open up that fist!
Agony smashes Martin in the face with his elbow and then gets up to deliver a few quick stomps until Martin is able to grab his foot and twist it, causing Agony to fall awkwardly. Martin gets up while keeping hold of the foot of Agony and he goes to work on the left leg by stomping his calf and yanking on the leg before wrapping the leg up in a leg-breaker and dropping his own knee down into it.
Martin O'Connor pulls Agony up and whips him so hard into the ropes that he tumbles over them and spills to the outside! Agony uses this to his advantage while he's outside of the ring and he goes to grab the ring bell!!!
BLAST!!!
Commander Riker with a phaser shot that hits Agony in the hand and sends the ring bell sailing into the fans!
Riker: I warned you I'll have NONE OF THAT.
Martin exits the ring and charges Agony, leveling him with a huge clothesline and then pulling him back up to slam him into the ring post. He starts bashing Agony's head into the post over and over again until...
BLAST!!!
Riker nails Martin right in the arm with his phaser!
Riker: I don't think that falls under the guidelines of what should be taking place in a standard match, O'Connor. Now get back into this ring.
Martin holds his arm in pain as he enters the ring but this allows Agony to drop down and crawl around ringside where he finds a steel chair. Agony slides into the ring behind Commander Riker as Riker is admonishing O'Connor...
O'Connor: Look out! Behind you!
CRACK!!! It's too late! Agony just struck Riker with the chair!!! Commander Riker is down!!!
The phaser flies out of Riker's hand and lands at Martin's feet. He quickly picks it up... and he blasts!!! Bulls eye!!! He hits the center of the chair Agony is holding and the force sends the chair right back into Agony's own face! The impact is so hard that the chair has been imprinted with Agony's forehead as Agony drops to his knees and flops forward on the canvas.
MARTIN BLASTS HIM AGAIN!!!!!
All of a sudden a huge explosion is heard as the entire "arena" shakes and flames explode from the rafters. The Holodeck begins to malfunction as random parts of the ring begin to vanish.
This is not the work of the phaser...
The Enterprise is under attack!!!
It's The Marauder of the D'Kora class! It's a Ferengi attack!!!
Worf and Data help Riker back up and out of the Holodeck as Martin O'Connor follows them out, still holding Riker's phaser in his hand. Agony remains out cold and is left behind in the Holodeck!
Suddenly out of nowhere...
They've boarded! The Ferengi have boarded the Enterprise!!!
Worf is being attacked savagely as other crew members are also attacked. Martin O'Connor begins firing Riker's phaser at them and trying to fight them off.
Riker: Set it to kill! KILL!!!
Martin looks at the phaser but...
BAM!!! Agony out of nowhere! Right in the middle of this attack Agony is still going after Martin O'Connor!
The phaser goes flying through the air and Commander Riker manages to catch it, instantly turning it to the "kill" setting and blasting away at the enemies on board.
Worf and Data overcome their attackers as Agony and Martin O'Connor continue battling through it all! On the ground Martin O'Connor notices a Ferengi Energy Whip, which is much like a whip that is charged with raw electricity.
He uses it on Agony!!! Martin whips Agony with the energy whip and Agony goes flying across several feet and crashing into Worf!
Commander Riker and crew are making sure all the Ferengi attackers have been thwarted but Riker still saw what O'Connor did to Agony... As soon as Riker is sure order has been restored and is given word that the Ferengi attack ship has retreated, he turns his attention to Martin O'Connor...
Riker: I told you I wasn't going to tolerate any foul play. First I wake up from being attacked and see that you've got my phaser and then you go and use a Ferengi weapon against your opponent? All for the sake of winning a wrestling match? Well I'm sorry to inform you that it's not going to end the way you intended! Martin O'Connor, as special guest referee of your match I hereby disqualify you!
O'Connor: What!? That's bullshit!
Riker: Those are the rules, and you broke them.
O'Connor: He hit you with a chair!!!
Commander Riker feels the back of his head where he's still throbbing from the chair shot but he admits the obvious...
Riker: Unfortunately I didn't see that and what I haven't seen, I can't "call" officially. My decision stands.
Winner: Agony
BAM!! Agony has recovered just in time to hear the news and he spears O'Connor through the corridor wall and both men fall into a collection of circuitry and structural materials behind the paneling.
Riker: That's it! Worf! Please remove them from the premises and get them off this ship!
Worf wastes no time following orders and drawing his phaser, ordering both men out of the area as Riker uses his communicator badge to contact Captain Picard and confirm that everyone is alright. Upon confirmation, Riker and several other crew members return to the Holodeck to continue this evening's event after the thwarted Ferengi attack!
Lexi Sheckler
- vs -
Danny Devia
Standard Match
If Devia wins he gets a shot at ANY title he chooses!
We are still in the Holodeck as a standard ring is still the center of attention. Things have had a chance to calm down after the attack the Enterprise just endured.
Danny Devia is waiting in the center of the ring for his opponent to doesn't appear to be showing up...?
Captain Picard taps the communicator on his chest and hails the transporter room.
Picard: Can you get a lock on XWF wrestler and Black Circle member, Lexi Sheckler? She's up!
Voice: Yes Captain. Beaming her to you now...
Lexi Sheckler materializes in the center of the ring looking shocked and unprepared...
BAM!!! Danny Devia nails her with a shoulder tackle the moment she finishes appearing. She goes down as Captain Picard makes an announcement...
Picard: Let's make this one a little more interesting. Let's have Lieutenant Yar and myself beamed down to a randomized planet to oversee this match. At least this way the element of surprise can be against both competitors here instead of just Sheckler.
Danny Devia, Lexi Sheckler, Captain Picard and Lieutenant Yar are all beamed down to a random planet where there doesn't appear to be any other signs of life. It's mostly a rocky looking terrain but Danny Devia doesn't even take the time to look around as he continues to unload on Lexi Sheckler!
Devia pulls her up and hits a nasty spinebuster right on the hard ground that dazes her due to the rock that the back of her head landed on. Danny Devia finally takes some time to look around and enjoy the scenery when...
Picard: Look out! What's that!
Picard points to what appears to be a moving puddle of black tar???
The black liquid is moving toward Lexi Sheckler!
Lieutenant Yar brings her phaser out and gets between the black puddle of tar and Sheckler. Slowly up from the tar rises.... something...
Yar: Stand back!
The creature remains still as Lexi starts to recover and she quickly crawls away from the area. Lexi and Danny Devia look on in horror as the creature grabs hold of Lieutenant Yar! She fires off a shot of her phaser but it's to no avail! Captain Picard draws his own phaser and sets it to "kill" but it also has no effect on the creature. It's pulling her down into the puddle!!!
Picard: NO!!!
Captain Picard hails the Enterprise and calls for backup as Warf, Riker and Data are all beamed down immediately but Lieutenant Yar is already chest deep in the black sludge with her arms flailing about trying to grab on to anything. Data and Worf rush toward her and grab her arms but she continues being sucked down. Picard realizes they'll be pulled in too so he orders them to release her. Everyone looks on in shock as Yar is pulled completely under and the sludge begins to bubble and gurgle before letting out what sounds like a massive belch.
Picard: Dammit! We've lost her!
Captain Picard seems to lose it at this point. He begins pacing back and forth and still has his phaser in his hand. He lets out a loud, tormented cry!
Picard: AAAHHHHHHH!!! This is your fault!
BLAST!!! Captain Picard fires his phaser at Lexi Sheckler!!!
In his maddened state his aim was off so it only struck her shoulder but that was enough to send her flying back and completely knock her out.
Riker: Sir!
Commander Riker and Worf rush to the captain to disarm him and he completely breaks down in tears, cursing the XWF and that "Damned whore Lexi Sheckler" as he calls her, for costing Lieutenant Yar her life! They've never seen the captain like this before!!!
Suddenly, the unthinkable happens...
Devia: Hey guys? I'm pinning Lexi over here. Can somebody count?
What the?!? Danny Devia just witnessed Tasha Yar's life taken from her and all he cares about is covering Lexi Sheckler for the win?
Data, void of emotion, obliges and makes the count for Devia...
...1
...2
...THREE!!!
Winner: Danny Devia (gets to choose ANY title in XWF to challenge for!)
Just when everything seemed like it might begin to calm back down... the black sludge seeps back toward them!
The beast is rising once again... and... OH MY GOD.
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!
The black tar-like creature is revealing its true form...
We are now seeing the murderer of Lieutenant Natasha Yar first hand... and what a horrible, disgusting, hideous beast it is...
Captain Picard begins to vomit profusely at the sight of... THIS....
Cee Lo Green! How revolting!!!
He begins to sing!!!
NO!!!!
BLAST!
BLAST!
BLAST! BLAST! BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!
BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!BLAST!
Everyone fires their phasers at him at maximum setting... even Danny Devia has somehow gotten a phaser and is blasting away...
It's taking several seconds... no minutes worth of non-stop firing!!!
Picard: Keep firing! KEEP FIRING DAMMIT!
BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST! BLAST!!!!! BLAST!!!!! BLAST BLAST BLAST!
Picard: He's gonna blow! BEAM US OUT OF HERE!!!
They're all transported back up to the Enterprise just as...
Justice has been served...
For Tasha Yar. :)
Unknown Soldier
& Tyler Decker
- vs -
Ronnie "The Deportation Man" Wilkins
& Gabriel Harding
2 on 2 All In, No Tagging, 1 Fall
GUEST REF: Lieutenant Worf
We find ourselves in the hallways of the Enterprise as the next match is about to be underway.
Liuetenant Wolf is standing very still along the wall with his weapon at his side, his presence intimidating in every way. After recent events, he's ready to strike at anyone and anything...
As Unknown Soldier and Tyler Decker show up just a few feet away, they are smirking as Soldier begins smoking some of his Goat Meth. He begins to foam at the mouth, cackling and shouting obscenities at Worf!
Worf sets his 'phaser' to stun and quickly shoots Soldier to calm him down.
This tickles him.
Unknown Soldier asks for another.
Worf obliges and shoots another volley at him.
Unknown Soldier is crackling with energy and begins to jump up and down excitedly, grabbing Tyler Decker and shaking him up and down, electrocuting him with the stray charges of electricity shooting off!
As he finally released Decker, Unknown Soldier sees Ronnie Wilkins and Gabriel Harding appear although Harding seems to be moving very slowly.
He asks Worf to give him 'just one more' for good measure but Worf declines, insisting that it would kill the man. Unknown Soldier excitedly asks Wilkins and Harding if they'd like to try out the 'charge juice!'
Both men decline but Worf doesn't like the look of Harding and shoots him anyway with his phaser! Harding falls to the ground as Worf stuns him again several times.
Worf: I believe he is not the human you know as Gabriel Harding. Something did not seem right about him.
Soldier smiles greatly at this revelation!
In any case, Worf proclaims that where he comes from, elements of danger help to 'improve the entertainment value' of combat.
So he hands special gravity suits with magnetic boots to the remaining combatants and let's them know that they are being transported OUTSIDE of the ship.
He taps his chest-badge twice and issues the command.
Moments later all 4 men are standing outside the ship, a midst the stars and flying debris as the ship soars at light-speed throughout the cosmos. Unknown Soldier looks down at the meth in his hand and quickly delivers another hit to his system. He has blood dripping down his lips, the back light of space casting him in a vicious glow. Tyler Decker stands next to him, his hair stuck straight up from the jolt earlier, his eyes sparkling with every stray star that passes his vision.
Ronnie Wilkins looks set to go, looking at both of his opponents and waiting for them to 'make a move.' As they clunkily move around at first in their gravity boots, Unknown Soldier jumps mightily and... WOW... he just jumped 80 feet into the air! He nearly falls outside the sphere of gravitational 'pull' emitted from the boots. However, he hangs onto his arc and begins to descend back towards the hull of the ship with frightening speed, nailing Wilkins with a truly FLYING clothesline!
Wilkins soars backwards, floating through space and he bangs his head against a crest in the ship where a port window is. He continues to sail backwards, eventually resting on the 'front end' of the weapon's powerful main laser array. Decker is now running along the side of the ship, his lighter weight allowing him to move much faster than normal. He runs as if he is cheetah, grinning like a mad man as he tries to deliver a dropkick to Wilkins.
However, Wilkins ducks and snags Decker's boots from his feet and Decker goes flying...
... goes flying...
... GOES FLYING INTO OUTER SPACE!!!
OH MY GOD!
Unknown Soldier, in a mad attempt to save his team mate, tosses his own boots off and dives after Decker!
Both the men are now flying through open space! Space 'junk' and debris are pelting the men as they begin to choke... the pressure is turning them blue and bloating their bodies within seconds! Oh my god... more then three seconds in open space would make a man implode!
The count!
ONE...
TWO...
THRRRR---! NO! A REPLICATOR SHIP!?
Yes, indeed. The 'Replicators' from the Pegasus Galaxy have entered this star system, their pieced together ship beaming Soldier, Decker and Wilkins aboard their vessel. This isn't SG!!! What the FUCK!!!!
Worf quickly is badged back into the holodeck of the Enterprise.
He looks to Picard, wondering what to do. Picard is still losing his shit after seeing one of his crew members murdered by Cee Lo Sludge earlier.
PICARD: Hail the vessel, woman!
He instructs a black lady to do this...
A large image appears on the Enterprise's screen!
OH MY GOD!
It's Replicator-Hulk Hogan!
REP-HOGAN: Hey, Brotha! You eat your wheaties today? 'Cuz I got some stray pups aboard my ship!
Picard smirks and leans on his chair.
PICARD: Yes, but what do you intend to do with them, might I ask?
At this, Rep-Hogan claps his hands and replicators form into a bulky and obscure image with slowly is stenciled out and filled in.
It's a Dance Dance Revolution machine.
REP-HOGAN: I have heard Brother, that Earthlings are the best dancers in all the Multiverse and that this device is the ultimate tool to measure said capabilities! I have heard an accelerent to their own abilities is what is known as 'Goat Meth.' If your men do not ingest copious amounts of this substance and then dance for my amusement, I will wrap my 24-inch pythons around their necks!
Picard makes the order.
PICARD: Ready the armaments to deliver their payload! We do not respond to threats of terrorism!
At this, a large hum is heard as the Enterprise's lasers begin to warm up.
However, Unknown Soldier, deflating a bit, steps forward into the screenshot.
UNKNOWN SOLDIER: I will do this Captain!
At this, Unknown Soldier takes all of his Goat Meth at once and begins to jam out to 'Down with the Sickness' by: Disturbed on DDR.
So enthralled is Rep-Hogan that he becomes hypnotized by the demon's fluid movements.
It's a trick!
Unknown Soldier moves from the DDR game and whispers in Rep-Hogan's ear!
Suddenly, Hogan slams forward and hits Ronnie Wilkins with the BIG BOOT!
He's cuffing his ear and the Enterprise screams in joy!
LEG DROP OF DOOOOOM!
Wilkins is out!
Soldier drops down to make the cover but...
They're all beamed back aboard the Enterprise!
Soldier ends up appearing right over the still fallen body of Gabriel Harding who was repeatedly blasted earlier with Worf's phaser. Since Soldier was already dropping down for a pin in mid-transport, he continues with the pin attempt on Harding...
Worf makes the count!
ONE...
TWO...
Harding starts to twitch and his shoulder begins to rise from the...
BLAST!!! Nevermind! Worf shot him in the shoulder!
...
...THREE!!!
Soldier jumps up excitedly and runs toward Worf, possibly to hug or attack him, and Worf blasts him with the phaser to send him spiraling backward and landing on top of Harding once again. What a match!!!
Winners: Unknown Soldier & Tyler Decker
Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus
- vs -
Big Bad Leroy
- vs -
Mister Mystery 17 31707 1 (no XWF contract)
Standard Triple Threat, 1 Fall
NOTE: If Mystery wins he gets a new XWF contract, but if he does not win he is banned from Shove It Saturday Night for 2 weeks!
We are taken back to the Holodeck where the "ring" is set up and the "fans" are screaming in anticipation for the next match!
Leroy raps and flexes on his way to the ring as his girls Jade and Vixen massage his muscles. The crowd boos heavily as this gigantic black machine gets into the ring, unphased by their lack of support.
Ring Announcer: "Coming down the aisle, from Oakland, California. Weighing in tonight at 385 pounds. BIIIIIIIIG BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD LEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!
Leroy stands in the middle of the ring, waiting for the next person to come out...
Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus makes his way to the ring, marching and heiling to the National Anthem of Nazi Germany. A section of Neo-Nazis in the fourth row cheer hysterically, despite their noise being drowned out by the echoing chorus of boos from this unfriendly crowd.
NAZI and Leroy stare each other down, when a figure comes up from behind Nathaniel!
It's Mister Mystery!
He taps ever so slightly on the shoulder of NAZI... The proud Aryan turns around... Into a sickeningly powerful right fist to the temple! Nathaniel drops to the ground in a heap, leaving only Leroy and the Mysterious one standing...
Mystery tries to grapple Leroy, who was thinking of the very same thing! They struggle for dominance... Leroy getting the upper hand... No! Mystery's getting it back to a neutral position! Leroy's gets him back into the position of dominance... Swift kick right into the groin of Leroy, courtesy of Mr. Mystery!
The groin kicking, hockey mask wearing sonovabitch lifts the giant up over his shoulder!
He runs to one side of the ring... And tosses Leroy not just out of the squared circle, but into the front row of the crowd! Leroy squashes several of the "fans" here in the Holodeck as the rest of the crowd goes berserk!
Mystery looks back and sees NAZI getting up.. He runs over to the fallen man, and gives him a hellacious kick to ribs... Or at least he would've if Nathaniel hadn't had gotten out of the way! Mystery stumbles a bit, left off balanced by that wild shot...
Leroy's starting to stir. He starts climbing over the barricade... NAZI isn't seeing that shit though, he's too focused on Mystery! He lifts the maniac up, could he be looking for the Iron Cross?
This early, NAZI?
He gets Mystery into position... About to drop... He can't drop now, Leroy picks up the Aryan sensation and delivers a HUGE back suplex, dropping Mystery on his head in the process!
This one's really picking up, folks!
Leroy gets right back up, ready to decimate his opponents! NAZI struggles to his feet, easy prey for the big black man. Leroy rushes NAZI with reckless abandon. For that he pays the price! NAZI was quick enough to duck and pull the ropes down, flinging Leroy back onto the floor.
Leroy hops back up! He's pissed now! He rips off one part of the barricade and lays it across the apron and another still attached part of the barricade... Meanwhile in the ring, NAZI is just stalking Mystery, waiting for him to make the slightest movement... Mystery stirs, and NAZI pounces right on him, however, this time it was Mystery who was just quick enough to escape!
Leroy's still on the outside, yelling for the "Skinny ass crackas" to come out of the ring and face him. NAZI throws a punch that knocks Mystery back a bit! Mystery comes forth with a left hand that disorients NAZI just a tad! NAZI shakes it off quickly and comes back with a right!
MYSTERY FEELS NO PAIN! IS THIS GUY A HUMAN FUCKING BEING?!
NAZI throws another punch, which Mystery grabs! He lifts NAZI up by his fist! He gets him up above the ropes! He drops NAZI right onto the barricade that Leroy set up! The impact bends the barrier, but doesn't break it! Leroy peels the angry, German man off the barricade and lifts him up to one shoulder!
Big powerslam by Leroy shatters the barricade into many little pieces!
What power!
Mystery's standing about 20 feet behind Leroy, waiting for him to turn around... Leroy starts to, and Mystery starts sprinting... Get out of the way, Leroy. Or you're going to be hit by the... HIDDEN SPEAR 1 177155 400! Mystery might have crushed Leroy's ribcage with that maneuver!
He rolls the big black man into the ring... He lays on top of him for the cover...
1......
2............
2.5..............
2 and three quarters.............
KICKOUT BY LEROY!
HOLY SHIT!
Mystery hops right back to his feet and waits for Leroy to get up... Which he does... RIGHT INTO THE LARIATS OF FIRE! (i.e. Running, spinning lariat)
MYSTERY JUST TOOK LEROY'S HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS! Mystery going for the pin one more time!
1..........
2.................................................
THREE!
Mystery has done it! He's won his XWF contract back!
Winner: Mister Mystery 17 31707 1
Stay tuned for the MAIN EVENT!!!