Free-Win Flynn… No longer in a red button-up and Khaki’s… No longer dressed like a Staples employee.
But instead… Wearing a mysterious long black robe…
The same color as his eyes.
An incredibly bright friendly smile gleams across his face as he looks into the camera.
“Hey Muchachos and Sue-chachos!”
“Ol’ Free-Win Flynn here. The X-Treme Champion.”
“The X-Treme Championship is one of the most prestigious titles of all-time, having been possessed by only the most talented and worthy XWF superstars of all-time.”
“Men like The Crimson Dong, ‘Glue Eatin’ Peter Gilmour, Bobby Zi and my oldest and dearest friend, Nat Zee.”
“And a new champion has the opportunity to contribute to the legacy those former champions established by battling with grace and dignity, competing with honor and maintaining the spirit of the belt…”
“On the other hand, the X-Treme champion gets more screen-time on XWF programming than any other superstar, including the Universal Champion.”
Free-Win winks.
“All those 30 second kick-out segments add up.”
“And I just dropped $4,000,000 on a dowry for Katie Smackins.”
“So, ol’ ‘Free-Win’ Flynn is SELLING OUT!”
Flynn throws off his robe.
And he is wearing… Oh lord…
Elbow Pads with Mountain Dew labels at their center.
Black boots with Nike labels on the inside heel AND Adidas labels on the ankles… What? Who even…
Knee-Pads, left with a Marvel comics label, the right with a DC comics label… Really?
On the front of his tights… An ad for Jimmy Dean Sausages.
On the ass of his tights… the smallest url:...
http://www.twitter.com/westcornfield
Wait… how did he make the link on his ass clickable…?
And on the face of the X-Treme Title…
Has a Giant cut-out from a Bumper Sticker on it…
So the skull originally at the center of the belt…
![[Image: X-TremeBelt_zpsd68e4e05.png]](http://i1214.photobucket.com/albums/cc500/The_Forklift/X-TremeBelt_zpsd68e4e05.png)
Is now covered by a Pepsi symbol.
“And I know what you’re thinking. ‘Hey F-Dawg, why are you telling me personally that the you’re dishonoring the championship held 11 times by Peter Gilmour?”
“Because if there’s anything you should take from my promos, it’s that your existence, your morality, your attempts to resist temptation and stay in any way decent men in this indecent hellhole…”
“It’s all futile.”
His teeth literally glimmer with his smile at this statement.
“But that only means if I'm going to dishonor this belt beyond repair, undoing any attempt to elevate its status since I first stole it from Psico, you should get in on the fun as quickly as possible!”
“CALL THIS NUMBER FOR THE ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME! AS YOU CAN SEE, AD SPACE IS RUNNING LOW FAST! PLEASE HAVE YOUR INFORMATION READY, INCLUDING COMPANY, BODY PART AND DESIRED DURATION OF AD RUN!”
A number flashes across the screen as well as several other numbers and punctuation marks, alongside blinking meaningless phrases like ‘COD’ ‘TVOO’ and ‘0DMBG’
“I sold literally hundreds of shirts with Soda Popinski's face on it! LET ME SELL YOUR CRAP! Don’t delay! Call today!”
(OOC: PM me with ads Free-Win should wear and while kicking out, he’ll prominently display the logo of that company via assaulting the guy who tried to pin him, then shuck and jive how everyone should use your useless product or invest in your inevitable failure of a company.)
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