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Donathan · **03-09-2013, 11:59 AM**

With heightened senses near.
I taste an XWF that is bitter.
I feel an XWF clinging hard.
I hear an XWF screaming.
I see an XWF in turmoil.
I smell an XWF in fear.
So I take off my hat.

allisachievable

Soar _Deep as you ^Dream W i d e

Wisdom--Reason--Peace

scrolls

will

reveal

hidden

truths

Vision-9

Have at your

command

the wisdom

of the ages

Fortune-3

Look and understand

before

you jump

Guidance-9.5

Prize truth--beauty--love

seeking harmony

with the infinite

Be not

a cancer

on the Earth

leave room for nature

leave room for nature.

Seek-Demand-Excel-Find
May an Age of Reason and Illumination be your guide
Most will never see--> A TRUTH
We have seeds planted on every XWF show
We own all
We are all

Once upon a time in a land far, far away there was a man of the south who was able to topple foes much more powerful than himself. He did so by raping his; wait▬no? We're not doing that one today? What a shame..

~~*~* static *~*~~

The following airtime has been paid for in full by Donathan Alphonse Francois

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                                 The footage

$ He exists in a world beyond your world $
~beyond hillbillies or failed legends~

*^*
Interview time at long last▬Mr. Steve Sayors along with Donathan Alphonse Francois De Sade.

"So tell me," begins Steve Sayors as he stands side by side with Donathan in this classic interview setting; complete with XWF logo on the backdrop behind them. "How did you actually retrieve Mister Mystery from the bay two weeks ago? We've heard from Mystery that you were in fact the one to save him but even Mystery himself doesn't seem to know how that happened." Donathan takes his eyes off of Sayors and peers into the distance with his eyes concentrating hard on the memory. He slowly removes his fedora from his head and loosens the collar of his custom tailored William Fioravanti suit. "You know something;" Donathan's voice sounding almost distant and preoccupied with whatever he's mentally viewing in the non-physical distance beyond: "it's not always about how something got done but in this particular case I'd be glad to share. You may remember meeting my loyal servant - Darakhshan Aher - when you visited me last week."

How could Steve forget? The beauty and allure of this Persian goddess nearly swept Steve off of his feet. "How could she be a mere servant?" wondered Sayors in the back of his mind as Donathan continued: "Darakhshan was in attendance that night and along with her▬the jaws of life." Steve is clearly confused by that last comment: "Jaws of life?" he asks in a very curious tone as Donathan continues his gaze out into some distance none of us can see. "What do you mean exactly? You guys had some kind of tool or machine that pulled Mister Mystery from the water?" Donathan looks down to the ground and cocks his head ever so slightly as though calculating how to even address that question. He then nods just once while his eyes shift from left to right at a thinking pace.

"I suppose you could call it just that; Mr. Sayors," responds Donathan as he runs the backside of his fingers along the brim of the fedora he holds in his left hand very slowly, almost as if caressing a blade. "You could very well refer to them as a tool or a machine and be accurate in the sense that they are used to carry out a precise function that their controller needs accomplished; and they do it swiftly▬accurately▬dare I say perfectly, every single time." Donathan gently places his fedora back on his head and reaches to the inside breast pocket of his Fioravanti suit jacket. He produces a folded up piece of paper which he hands to Steve Sayors and allows him to open up and read the contents of. Steve seems to have trouble digesting what his eyes are showing him as he scans the pamphlet. It reads almost like an advertisement of some kind.

The Jaws of Life
The answer you can't afford to miss

Have you ever found yourself surrounded by ruin and overwhelmed by hopelessness?

Do you or anyone you know suffer from acute hate crimes or crimes of passion?

Has your own brother, cousin, or other family member tried to rape you?

Have you ever found yourself under water after participating in a wrestling match?

If any of the above sound like something you or a loved one is going through, and you have a considerable source of income, please do not hesitate to call the JAWS OF LIFE▬they are the answer to your prayers. All it takes is one phone call and a small deposit of _______ to have the solution you require sent your way. The Jaws of Life will be able to solve nearly any problem going on in your life and will leave you feeling happy and fulfilled with the inevitable outcome. We also offer a 30 second free trial if you'd like to see first hand whether or not the Jaws of Life are right for you. Are you stuck deep inside a well and nobody cares enough to come and get you because your name is Cyren? We'll pull you up as high as we can for 30 seconds and then drop you back down so you can decide if you'd like to make a payment. Whatever scenario you have going on; the Jaws of Life are the answer, and if we can't save you; we'll refer you to someone who can and be on our way after issuing a full refund if you're still living.

"Is," hesitation as he blinks and continues looking at it, "this some kind of joke? What is this, Donathan?" Steve hands the pamphlet back to Donathan but he pushes it back toward Steve, telling him "Keep it▬you may need it sooner than you think; for none of us can truly predict when we'll need the Jaws of Life to illuminate our darkest hour." Steve glances down at the paper once again and slowly folds it back up, placing it into his own pocket for safe keeping. "So the Jaws of Life is a group of men that work for you, or that you hired and are passing on their information? I'm still not completely clear on that," says Sayors as Donathan walks off the interview set and leaves Steve standing there alone: "Where are you going?" Donathan doesn't answer him but instead we can hear the sounds of buttons being pushed▬very loud buttons as if part of some metal device. Steve looks off to where the camera cannot see and his eyes tell a tale of surprise. "What the? What are you doing with Mr. Satellite's robot?"

^{- You never know when you will need to call upon the Jaws of Light!}

Donathan can be heard in the distance: "Ah; brilliant! A miscalculation turns 'Life' into 'Light' and by chance is just as fitting. I'm still getting the hang of this thing, Mr. Sayors, so please bear with me."

More buttons can be heard as the robot's voice echoes loudly once again.

^{- Steven Sayors you are gay!}

Steve rolls his eyes and shakes his head, placing his hands on his hips like he's getting upset. Mr. Satellite's robot slowly glides into view and stops right next to Steve as he looks down at the robot with annoyance and then glares at Donathan who also walks back onto the interview set. "Hey, don't get mad at me▬he said it;" a fact that some would argue to be true as Donathan points his finger of accusation at the robot which merely was speaking his command, as anyone who has viewed a Mr. Satellite promo already has surmised. I really didn't expect to be met with childish antics by you of all people, Donathan;" the tone in Steve's voice reveals just how disappointed he is by Donathan's lighthearted joke. Donathan pushes a few buttons on the robot as Steve rolls his eyes again.

^{- Donathan says he is sorry please forgive him!}

Donathan has a smirk on his face that he's trying to hold back from turning into outward laughter as he remains properly composed. Steve glares at the robot and then up at Donathan, letting out a sigh before speaking: "Alright; anyway... did you have any last minute comments you wanted to make regarding your match against Hickster and Cyren? This is a match in which your newly acquired North Korean Championship will be on the line even against your own partner whose robot you apparently stole and have been playing with. If anyone pins or submits you during the match - even your own partner - you lose the title to that individual. What are your thoughts?" Instead of answering, Donathan begins to stuff what appears to be ear plugs into his own ears as Steve looks on in disarray. Donathan makes sure both ears are properly plugged before he pushes some buttons on the robot.

^{- Don't you think you should be asking those questions to both Donathan and Mr. Satellite at once! And no Donathan did not steal me! And no Donathan has not been playing with me you sick freak! I suggest you now cover your ears as I will summon Mr. Satellite from the great beyond!}

The instant the robot finishes saying that, an ear piercingly high pitched tone begins blaring from the robot's head and Steve throws both of his hands up as quickly as possible to his ears, trying to cover them as he stumbles back. Donathan simply looks on with an intrigued expression as Steve drops to the floor with his hands covering his ears. The high pitched noise gets louder and louder and louder until ... it completely stops. Steve keeps his hands over his ears for a few more seconds just to be sure it's safe but then when he removes them▬blood; sweet, fresh, wine of the body to a man like Unknown Soldier but luckily for Sayors he is not present. "Ahhh! Damn! You made my ears start to bleed! What the heck was that?"

The robot spins and swivels to life with new found energy, responding to the question.

^{- That was a summons to me.}

Another man in a fedora wielding a different remote device pops into focus. Steve looked startled as the man walked over and patted the robot on the head.

^{- It's good to see you again, Steve.}

Steve blinked and shook his head in confusion, quickly responding with "Again? I've never seen you before in my life. Who are you?"

^{- Steve you don't recognize me. I'm shocked.}

Steve eyes told the tale of someone who's had multiple jokes and pranks pulled on him before. He wasn't going to allow that to happen again.

"Who are you?"

^{- It's me...Mr. Satellite. I'm trying out a new look. What do you think, Steve?}

Steve tilted his head with a cocky expression and retorted: "You expect me to believe YOU'RE...Mr. Satellite? Just cause you're missing an arm and can operate his robot doesn't make you him. You're not fooling anyone."

The man claiming to be Mr. Satellite reaches into his pocket and pulls out a burlap sack. He tosses it to Steve. Steve picks it up and looks at it. It's the same burlap sack Mr. Satellite wore on his head. It even had the single solitary eye hole. Steve kept looking from the burlap sack to the man claiming to be Mr. Satellite. It was almost as if his brain wanted to reach the conclusion, but it just wasn't there yet.

^{- It's really me Steve. I assure you there are no tricks in play. I am Mr. Satellite. I am the same man who you conducted an interview with while orbiting the Earth. I gave you gum that made it so you could breathe in space, so long as you kept chewing it. Well...you also had to pop a new piece in your mouth every ten minutes.}

Steve raised his eyes to Mr. Satellite and asked, "is it really you?"

^{- Yes, it's really me. Now that my identity has finally been established. I assume you have some questions meant for me and Donathan? I can only guess that since Donathan called me here.}

Steve blinked like he was getting his mind back on track: "Yes, well I was just asking about the match? If there were any thoughts Donathan had regarding the opponents, Cyren and Hickster? I also mentioned how even if you two claim a victory, it comes down to who pins for the victory. The belt could wind up with either of you. Do you have any thoughts on either topic, Mr. Satellite?"

^{- Well Steve; the opponents seem to be faring as I expected they would as far as the information they share onto the public with their promos. I assess Hickster will be the more formidable foe - as formidable as a man of his nature could be. He has a bum leg and I have one arm. I'm not sure how he thinks that makes us equal but if it helps him rationalize things, who am I to judge? Cyren seems to be a being filled with confusion and appears to be far beyond the realms any help could be placed upon him. His factor within this match is really of no concern to either me or Donathan. It would be akin to fighting a leaf caught in an updraft. Its existence is there but its ability to harm isn't. I am just glad he remembered he had a match with both Donathan and I. He clearly could have just forgotten and decided to stay lost out in the ocean.}

Mr. Satellite grinned.

^{- As for who gets the title. Well that's anybody's guess. It's not in my nature to give out spoilers though, Steve. You'll just have to wait and see.}

Steve furrowed his brow in confusion: "Wait that implies you both have decided who's going to claim the title. Is that what happened?"

^{- Steve, I have no idea what you're talking about. I simply meant we both have equal possible claim on the belt.}

"But..." "He's right, Mr. Sayors," interrupts Donathan after remaining silent through this exchange thusfar. "Hickster and Cyren will no doubt show up but it will in fact be a fruitless endeavor on both parts. The man who leaves Shove It with this North Korean Championship will be one of the men standing before you now, and with that▬we come to the close of this interview." Donathan and Mr. Satellite both allow the robot to send Steve Sayors off appropriately.

^{- Good day to you -- madame! HA...HA...HA!}

Donathan smirks as he winks at the camera.

End transmission.

The preceding airtime has been paid for in full by Donathan Alphonse Francois

Exit and return to XWF99

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode PlaceMarker ~ Steve Sayors▬the butt of all jokes indeed ~
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