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~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (06-03-2014)

When we last left our intrepid Hobbit he was dancing with some blonde girl named Evie at a club, her boyfriend was on his way over to attack Frodo because Frodo had disrespected Gilmour, a lot recently, and because he was dancing with Evie. The slow song that Frodo paid to get played was continuing to fill the air. Evie tightened her arm around Frodo's waist, and he pulled her a little closer.

"Evie, can I ask you something?"

She tilted her head on his shoulder so she could see him better.

"Sure, Fred. Ask me."

"Can I kiss you?"

She looked confused at Frodo's request.

"No, I have a boyfriend. I'm not going to cheat on him, even if it is only a kiss. That's just messed up. Why would you even ask that?"

"Because I think you're pretty, and I'd like to know what it's like to kiss you. My bad."

Evie smiled as he said that, and prepared for a spin, which was delivered for great justice. On the retract he pulled her in close, and "accidentally put his hand on her butt. She looked a little upset, and gave this half assed angry look. Unbeknownst to them McDoucherton was right up on them, he caught the ass touching and was not happy.

"Hey, mother fucker. That's my girl you're dancing with, and groping."

The song ends, and the DJ, who sees this go down, doesn't begin the next one.

"She is. That's correct. And it was one dance, and I didn't mean to touch her butt. It was an accident. I apologize miss. Thank you for the dance, and as I said, it's just one dance. I'm going to go and head home now. I have to be up later. Got to catch a flight for work in the morning. Early."

Frodo begins to walk off when the big man puts his hand on Frodo's chest.

"I know you. You're Frodo Smackins. XWF

. Insulting Peter Gilmour all the time. HEY! Everyone! This guy thinks he's tough shit because he beat some nobodies and lost to Tommy Gunn, Nazi, and Sebastian Duke. He's a bitch."

"Right, chill dude. I'm going to go home and sleep. You really don't want this. I'm a trained fighter, and a pro-athlete. This isn't a smart idea for anyone. I'm not saying I'm tough, or tougher than you, but I am saying this has stupid written all over it."

McDoucherton punched Frodo, and he stumbled back.

"Mitch, no! He wasn't doing anything, except dancing with me since you refused."

"Ok, Mitch. I warned you. Now, it's going to happen, and it's going to hurt. You're going to see why I'm King of the Dwarves, and you're just Charlie Sheen in 'The Wraith' You were warned. DJ! Play something for me to kick this guy's ass to."

The DJ nods and throws on Timber by Pitbull ft Ke$ha. Frodo sprints at Mitch then when Mitch swings he slides under the giant and throws a punch to the knee. The big man goes down as Frodo hops to his feet and goes for a drop kick, but is caught by the douche. Mitch throws Frodo into the crowd of people. Frodo took this opportunity to hide out for a second. He was too drunk for this.

Not long as the crowd parted and Mitch came running at Frodo. So, he did the first thing he could think of. Shayouken! as soon as Mitch was close enough. The big man didn't go down, he just looked pissed.

"Why the fuck didn't that work?"

Mitch just chuckled.

"Wrestling is fake. That move won't work."

Crack came running to the edge of the bar area, he had something for Frodo in his hand.

"Eh, yo, Midge! Here! Take it!"

Crack tossed the object through the air like a majestic bird that went full

. Until its contents spilled onto some drunk sorostitute's head.

"Eww. Did I just get shat on by a bird?"

She touches her hand to her head, feels the contents and brings it down to her face.

"EWWWWWWWWWW! It's Butter. Who threw butter?!

The now empty butter sock lands at Frodo's feet. He looks confused, as does Mitch.

"Hold on, Mitch. Crack? Did you not tie to sock? We tie the butter socks. They work better that way. Give me your damn cane."

"No. I need this. You'll just break it. Fight him without a weapon. Or better yet use a Keyboard."

"Don't be stingy on me. Dude, gimme the cane. I need it."

"Fuck you, Frodo. You broke the last 3 canes I got. Fight with keyboards or your fist."

"Fuck you, Crack."

"I hate to interrupt this, but I wanna break your face."

"Right. Where were we? Oh yeah, wrestling's not fake. I'm gonna show you."

Frodo kicked Mitch's knee out again before running stepping back, sprinting towards Mitch and hitting him with Shining Wizard. Mitch went down, so Frodo hit him with an atomic knee drop before climbing one of the big ass speakers. When Mitch got up Frodo leapt off and hit him with a Flying Superman punch. They both lay there for a minute before Mitch gets up quickly and Frodo springboards to his feet. He runs up the back of Mitch, wraps his arms around the large man's neck and hits him with an Stunner. Mitch is mostly down when Frodo decides to pick him up and ram him head first into the speaker he previously climbed. Mitch is out, and Frodo begins to pump his arms up trying to work the crowd up. They begin cheering for him. We even see Cain in the crowd. He sarcastically claps for Frodo before turning, taking two steps and sort of vanishing.

Evie is not happy. She walks to the bar and ordered a drink. She walks back over to Frodo and throws the drink in his face. It's hot coffee!

"Holy shit that burns. I can't see. Who the fuck does that? Why would you think that's OK? I get a drink, but goddamn."

"Irish Coffee. Bitch. Don't hurt my boyfriend."

"He attacked me. And why the hot coffee? Who does that?! The point of the drink is to be insulting. This is just cruel and unusual. Seriously. The fuck is wrong with you?"

Crack runs over with a Margarita in his hand. He throws that in Frodo's face to cool it down. He forgot the salt content.

"NOT BETTER! The salt burns. Who the fuck threw that? I will fuck your face hole. Crack! CRACK! Get me to the hospital now."

"Yeah, it was me. I was trying to cool your face. Did it not help?"

"Salt. Eyes. Bleeding. Hospital now."

"Oh yeah."

A few minutes later in the E.R.

"Well, Mr.. Ward. It seems your eye sight will be fine in a few hours. Interestingly the alcohol had sanitized the wounds and kept them from getting worse. You're lucky it happened. Salt was a bad choice, though."

"Will I be able to see for my match on Wednesday?"

"I should see no reason why not. But with the amount of drugs in your system I wouldn't recommend it. You could die at any minute. As a matter of fact, I'm shocked you're alive at this point. Have you considered getting sober?"

"Yes, and I did that for a bit. It's not a world I want to live in. Gimme pain killers and gauze. I've gotta go jerk off."

Scene fades to gauze.

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