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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
XWF Cribs...Homeless Edition...
Author Message
Phil McOxenballs
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#1
05-31-2014, 06:55 PM

"Welcome to my home,"


[Image: Mandela-bridge.jpg?itok=CV_PdZD8]



"And isn't it beautiful?"

"Mine is the split level, last one on the right."

"My friend Slippery Pete lives next door, he's a great guy, has no teeth and reeks of piss but when push comes to shove, Slippery Pete is a stand up fella."

"And on the end that's crazy Stan. No one really knows nothing about him except that he's from the Middle East, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, one of the stans, that's why we call him Crazy Stan. He yells a lot and points, no one really knows what he's yelling or pointing at because he doesn't speak English. His real name is Raul. But we prefer Stan. Crazy Stan, what a character."

"We are in the process of turning our little row of homes into a full fledged development, it will be the first of it's kind. We are going to call it Zakim Bunker Brigade since we are located under the Leonard P Zakim Bunker Hill Memorial Bridge but they wouldn't let us into the last town hall meeting so I don't really know where we stand on that issue."

"Anyway this is where I live. I tried to get on MTV Cribs but apparently we didn't fit the specific criteria for the show. Funny, I don't remember them mentioning what the criteria is but whatever. I didn't want to sell out to the corporate machine anyway. My crib is my crib."

"Down there by the river you can see a little porto potty, it doesn't actually have a back to it. You just do your business in the toilet and than your business goes right down into the river. But it's ok cause we all show up that a way and our business travels downstream so we don't have to worry about getting all infected and what have you."

"Sometimes when me family comes to visit the kids go swimming in the river. They call it Uncle Phil's pool. Them young ones is so cute, especially little Timmy. He a problem walking on account of his daddy running over his legs with a lawn mower. What's even weirder is that my brother in law's box is just a few villages down yonder and I don't remember him having any grass to cut."

"Anyway come over with me and I'll show you the inside of my place."


Phil leads the camera man over to his split level box.


"it's not much to look at. I got some blankets in there which make up my bed. I got a plate over there and a glass, that's my kitchen, oh and here's a picture of me at my 21st birthday..."

[Image: drunk-irishman.jpg]


"Not sure who took it, or how I came in possession of it, but it's my fondest memory. Pete says I look 40 in this picture but whatever. I blame it on the fact that my Dad is also my Uncle. Figure that one out."

"Anyway, I would love to stay and chat with you but I need to hit the gym, I got me a match tomorrow night for some wrestling promotion. I don't know nothing about wrestling but they said they was gonna pay me some money...I like money."



Phil walks over to a set of boulders, lays down on the ground and starts lifting one of the boulders above his head repeatedly while breathing heavily and counting each time his arms are completely extended...



1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....


Is anyone going to tell Phil that his match in the XWF is actually a pie eating contest?

Na, it's more fun watching him bench press boulders.


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