Capital Hill
Washington D.C
5:00pm

As the scene fades in we see “The Senator” John Samuels, along with his always present confidant Ann Fairchild descending the steps of Capital Hill. About 20 steps away ascending the stairs is Pryce Industries CEO, Theo Pryce. Pryce yells out to John who after his initial shock of seeing Theo in D.C approaches him and the two shake hands.


“Theo, what are doing in D.C?”

“I had a meeting with some friends, figured I would stop by and see what you were up to. You know, since you ditched all your real friends for your day job.”

“Stop, you know I don’t have a choice in these matters. Besides we work like 30 days a year so when Congress is in session I need to be here.”

“I know, I’m just breaking your balls. So what’s going on? What was so urgent that you had to be here?”

“The Democrats have a stick up their ass about gun control again. They are trying to steamroll a bill through.”

“When are they going to learn that guns make the world go round?”

“About the same time they realize war is good for the economy.”

“Oh no he didn’t.”


The little quip gets a chuckle out of Fairchild. Man the tits on her. They could make the gayest of men want to motorboat them for hours. It’s a wonder Theo hasn’t tried to sleep with her yet. Or has he?

Tried that is.


“How long you in town for?”

“For as long as I need to be. We wrapped up our meeting earlier so I can head back tonight or I can head back whenever doesn’t really make a difference to me.”

“Tell you what. I am hosting a high stakes poker game in my suite tonight, why don’t the three of us grab dinner? I know an excellent steakhouse in the area and then you come and try your luck at some Hold Em?”

“I got shit else to do so why not.”

“Alright then, let’s get out of here.”

The trio walk down the rest of the steps in front of Capital Hill and enter a black Suburban.

Several Hours Later Hilton Hotel Downtown D.C Character Legend: John Samuels Theo Pryce Daniel Snyder Jay Chandrasekhar Laura Prepon

Seated a circular table in the center of the room is Jay Chandrasekhar of Super Troopers and Beerfest fame, Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, John Samuels, Theo Pryce and Laura Prepon of “That 70’s Show” and recently “Orange Is The New Black.” For this specific hand John Samuels is serving as the dealer.

Chandrasekhar has by far the smallest stack of chips on the table, having slightly more than that is Snyder. Prepon’s stack is formidable but nothing compared to that of Samuels and Pryce.


“So tell me Pryce, what exactly is it that you do?”

“Well Dan, I run a company that arms the world.”

“Arms the world?”

“Yes, when countries want various weapons with which to protect themselves they come to me.”

“I thought countries just built their own weapons?”

“They build some. We build most.”

“I take it that’s a lucrative business?”

“You have no idea. You ever going to change the name of your team?”

“Fuck no. The NFL can go fuck themselves, and so can all the high and mighty folks bitching about the Redskin name being racist.”

“Well it is a bit.”

“So what? So are the Cleveland Indians, the Atlanta Braves and the Florida State Seminoles, to name a few.”

“Oh I don’t disagree at all. As far as I’m concerned you own the team, the name can be the Washington Cracka Killers for all I care.”

“I like your style Pryce.”

“Alright fella’s enough with the chit chat, the bet is $500. Theo bet is to you.”


Theo reaches down and with his thumb and forefinger lifts his two cards ever so slightly. A 8 and a Jack off suit.

On the table are a 9 of Clubs, a Queen of Diamonds and a 3 of Spades.

Prepon has already folded and Chandrasekhar has already placed his bet.

Theo takes one last look at his cards and then tosses them into the middle of the table.


“Fold.”

“And my boy Theo bows out.”

“Wasn’t my hand bud.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“So Jay tell me, when is Super Troopers 2 going to happen?”

“As soon as we can line up some financing.”

“What? Financing? I’ll finance that movie right now. How much you need? A hundred million? Two hundred? Five hundred? Name it. I loved the first one.”

“Are you serious?”

“He’s serious Jay. The guy quotes Super Troopers constantly.”

“Candy barssssssss…the snozzberries taste like snozzberries…”

“See.”

“Well gee, If you are serious about the offer we should get together sometime and discuss numbers. What are you looking for in return?”

“What?”

“Well usually when people offer to finance movies they want something back.”

“I’m not in the movie making business so I have no idea what you are talking about, what do you usually do?”

“Well for starters we attach and Executive Producer credit to whoever finances the film.”

“Ok then that’s it. That’s all I’m looking for, that and a movie that is funnier than the first one.”

“Where did you say your office was?”

“Phoenix.”

“Great, I should be in L.A within the next couple of weeks we can try and set something up. We have a script written so I’ll have that with me so you can take a look at it.”

“No way. I want to see that gem for the first time on the screen.”

“Alright, all bets are in. Here comes the next card.”


Samuels turns over the next card and places it in the center of the table. A Four of Hearts.

On the table are a 9 of Clubs, a Queen of Diamonds, 3 of Spades and a 4 of Hearts.

Snyder looks down at his hand and immediately folds. Leaving just Samuels and Chandrasekhar.


“Well Jay it’s just you and me. It’s your bet.”


Jay takes a look at his stack which resembles table scraps more than anything else. Having decided he has little to work with he taps on the table, signifying that he “checks” or “passes”. Leaving the decision up to Samuels, who immediately raises just enough to force Chandrasekhar to either fold or go all in.


“Fuck it. All in.”


Jay pushes the last of his little stack into the center of the table and then flips over his two cards to reveal a 4 of Clubs and a Queen of Hearts. Giving him at worst, two pairs.

Samuels looks at the cards and smiles. He turns over his own two cards revealing a 9 of Diamonds and a 2 of Spades.

Right now, Jay has the strong hand.


“And on the river…a 9 of Spades.”

“Son of a bitch.”

On the table are a 9 of Clubs, a Queen of Diamonds, 3 of Spades, 4 of Hearts, 9 of Spades

The river card gives Samuels the high hand with a 3 of a kind. All 9's.


“Well that’s all she wrote for you Jay.”


John reaches into the pot and takes the remainder of Jay’s stack as well as everything else that was in there and starts adding it to his already large sum of money.


“Alright Jay, since you’re done you get to deal. Unless you are leaving us.”

“I got nowhere else to go so I’ll stay.”

“Cards are yours.”


Samuels continues to stack up his chips while Jay starts shuffling the deck.


“Deal me out of this one fellas.”

“Everything alright Dan?”

“Yeah everything’s good. I just need to hit the head and get a drink.

“You’re just afraid of my heater aren’t you?”

“Something like that.”


Snyder gets up from the table and walks out of the main room and around the corner.


“You ready Theo. It’s you and me pal.”

“Hey don’t forget about me. I’m still in this.”

“Yeah John, how can you forget the lovely Laura. Love the show by the way.”

“Thank you Theo. Always good to hear that people like your work.”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright folks let’s do this.”


Jay puts the deck on the table and John taps the top of it. Jay then splits the deck, then puts it back together, shuffles again and begins to hand out the cards.

One to Laura, one to Theo and one to John. Another to Laura, another to Theo and another to John. And then the flop.

Jack of Spades, Queen of Spades, Queen of Hearts.

Each of the three involved in the hand take a gander at their cards, none of their faces betray what they hold.


“It’s your bet Laura.”

“$500.”


Laura grabs $500 worth of chips and places them into the center of the pot. Along with the $1500 that is already in the pot from the $500 buy in that each had already placed there.


“Your move Theo.”

“I raise $1500.”

“Easy money.”


John pushes in $1500 in chips, and Laura adds in another $1000 to go with the $500 she put in previously.


“And now for the turn.”


Jay turns over the 4th card and places that into the center of the table.

An 6 of Clubs.

Jack of Spades, Queen of Spades, Queen of Hearts. 6 of Clubs.

“Fuck me, that’s no help. I’m out.”


Laura throws her two cards into the center of the table leaving just Theo and Samuels.


“Well Sammy, now it’s just you and me. My bet is $5000.”

“Child’s play. All In.”

“Oh John, even if you go all in and take me I still have chips left. So how about we ratchet this up, chip for chip.”

“This is all I got Theo, what else do you want me to throw in there? A car? I doubt you need another one of them.”

“I don’t know John, be creative. You don’t want to get shown up in your own game do you?”

“Fuck me. I knew inviting you was a bad idea.”

“Come on now John, that’s hurtful.”

“How about my TV title shot with Elisha?”

“What?”

“I got a guaranteed TV title shot, I’ll throw that in there, you win this hand the shot is yours.”

“What the fuck do I want with the TV title? I was the fucking King, that’s like going from a Mercedes to a Kia.”

“Yeah but then you can at least say you won the title, one more thing to add to your collection.”

“You know me so well John. Fine, let’s do it.”

John flips his two cards and tosses them in the center of the table, a huge grin spans his face.

A pair of Queens.

Samuels with a Four of a Kind.

Theo looks down at the hand and for a second his demeanor changes, but only for a second.

Then turns his cards over and slides them into the center, right next to John’s.

An Ace of Spades and a King of Spades.

Theo with nothing and yet one card away from being able to pull off the unlikely.


“And now the river.”


Jay turns over the last card and places it in the center of the table next to the previous four cards. As soon as he does so Theo let’s out a sigh while Samuels turns red.

A 10 of Diamonds.

Jack of Spades, Queen of Spades, Queen of Hearts. 6 of Clubs, 10 of Spades

“Theo wins with a Royal Flush. Ace through 10, all spades. Great hand Theo.”

“Seriously man, that was a thing of beauty.”

“No hard feelings Johnny Boy.”

“I didn’t want that TV title shot anyway.”

“Sure buddy. Sure.”


Theo and Samuels each get up from the table and exchange a hand shake. Theo then reaches into the pot and takes the massive stack of chips and starts adding them to his already sizable stack. He tosses a $1000 chip to Jay and Laura and then at the last second tosses on towards Snyder’s pile as he finally returns from the bathroom, drink in hand.