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JohnBrown · **05-11-2014, 11:56 PM**

Ring-Ring!

Ring-Ring!

Ring-Ri-

The scene opens as John Brown sits up on his elbow in his bed, almost unconsciously getting his cell phone and hitting answer.

The Messiah||John Brown||The Messiah
What?

||???||
What? No hello?

That could only be one person on the other end of the line: Chris Acid. John lets out a loud yawn, moving the phone, away from his ear.

The Messiah||John Brown||The Messiah
Oh, shit! Chris! What's up, man!

The King||Chris Acid||The King
Were you still sleeping? Do you even know how late it is?

John, still half asleep, rolls over and looks at his alarm clock. He rubs his eyes, making sure he's seeing correctly. Fuck. It's already half-past noon.

The Messiah||John Brown||The Messiah
Shit...I didn't realize...anyway...what's going on?

John jumps out of bed and makes his way into the bathroom to freshen up. He puts his phone on speaker and sets it face down on the counter.

The King||Chris Acid||The King
Nothing much. I just caught your promo from last week in that new promotion you're in...and your interview for their website. So...you just couldn't stay out of the game, huh?

John splashes cold water onto his face, and runs his hands through his ha-oh...yeah. He forgot he shaved his long locks off yesterday. He even groomed his beard, partly for the reason of making himself more presentable, but mainly to avoid the hassle of maintaining them. He grabs the hand towel of the ring attached to the wall, patting his face dry.

The Messiah||John Brown||The Messiah
Yeah. I figured, "What else am I gonna do?" It felt like the right time too.

The King||Chris Acid||The King
I know you're gonna do Ricky and I proof out there, kid. I just wanted to call and tell you good luck with The Rock. I'm sure you won't need it. Show the boys in the back that you're no joke.

John spits the mouthwash liquid out of his mouth and into the sink.

The Messiah||John Brown||The Messiah
No doubt, brother. They'll understand what the deal is soon enough.

The King||Chris Acid||The King
Good. Aright, well...I'll holler at you later, bub. I've gotta run Jessica over to some kid's birthday party.

The Messiah||John Brown||The Messiah
Later.

With that, both men hang up their respective lines. John quickly heads to his dresser, opens the top drawer, and pulls out a plain white t-shirt. He slides it over his head as his sits on the edge of his bed, putting his shoes on. He stands up and makes his way to the bedroom door, grabbing a blue zip-up hoodie, and his LA Dodgers baseball cap as he heads out. He hurries down the stairs pulling the cap down onto his head and sliding his arms into the hoodie. He quickly exits the house and begins walking down the street, still not entirely sure of where he's going. He just had this sudden urge to get up and go. He mulls around a few ideal places to visit while walking, head down, not paying attention to anyone else on the street. Most likely he is trying to avoid the possibility of someone asking for an autograph. This not paying attention, as usual, is troublesome. A few blocks into his walk, he walks smack dab into another human. He can tell it's a female upon impact, or a man with nice breasts...being as their boobs collide directly into his shoulder. Both stumble backward a bit, neither falling down.

The Messiah||John Brown||The Messiah
I'm sorry, ma'am. I wasn't watching were I was going...

John's words trail off as he raises his head to see what he least expected so close to home...another member of the XWF roster.

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

"Fuck you, pal!"

Dolly flips this turd nugget the bird and then skips away. She then jumps back inside of a time portal back to the year 2017.

Bilbo Blumpkinz · (05-04-2017)

Bilbo's image can be seen wavering in the time portal before it closes. It's his dick.

"The fuck is this desperate bullshit? Some drama queen feeling the need to be seen as adequate across time and space? Hey Dolly - you aren't the best in 2017. You weren't in 2016. In 2015 you got sleep raped by some trucker and got mad, so you and your daddy left town. 2014? You'd never have a chance. Scorpio would rape you. Sid Feder would rape you. Egyptian Snow Pharoah would rape you. You want to be the first rape to occur across time and space? Keep begging for validation and attention. Also, please touch this, it's really swelling more than I expected."

Bilbo wags his cock.

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

"Woulds and coulds and dids and didn'ts. Ins and outs and what-have-yous and what-haven'ts. Who gives a fuck? In 2014 you were still a crude Donald Trump tard-imitation-to-be.

So pod piper of the puddin' packing pussy parade? Haven't you got a Brommer trailer park septic system in Irrelevance, PA to go make love to or something?"

Bilbo Blumpkinz · (05-04-2017)

"lolnope. Thanks for the pregnancy test though, now I'll know for sure that I don't have any little Waterses running around after I pump my juice into that Morbid Angel-mangled cunthole. I'll put a bag over your head of course, since you look like someone mashed together Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and then took a shit on the result. It'll be plastic too. Breathe deep, slutbucket."

Bilbo stops jerking his dick momentarily. He seems pensive.

"You know, your career would be a lot better if you didn't constantly try to be the best. If you only tried to be a mediocre trailer park champion in a wet muu-muu competition, you could at least say you probably came in second place after Honey Boo Boo. Trying to be the best in the XWF is just a lifetime of failure for you. Look at the Top 50. That's 50 rapes for you if you ever got in the ring. 50 playas who wouldn't call you the next day after raw dogging that Kentucky Poon to oblivion. Set realistic goals."

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

"God, ya' know, yer' right. Excuse me while I go find the 2014 version of myself and tell her to quit being such an unrealistic cunt.

Last time I checked she was rolling a spaghetti-legged queer in a wheel chair out into oncoming traffic while laughing.

I'll be sure to make it clear that she'll only ever be the best at triggering past-clingy fagbois who miss the rampant homosexuality of the pro-rape era of wrestling."

Bilbo Blumpkinz · (05-04-2017)

"Is that it? I thought you were the self-proclaimed trash talking queen of the XWF, past present and future? Oh wait, I forgot, you're just some dumb kid with two hairs on her quim that says words like 'fagboi' because she once heard Luca say it and she wants to be edgy."

Bilbo points his hand at Dolly, wagging it up and down while still holding his dick. So he's basically wagging his dick at her.

"You aren't Luca. You'll never be Luca. Just like you won't ever be Sid Feder or Mark Flynn or Gator or even Sebastian Duke. And Duke was never even good at talking shit, but he was better than you. The only one you are even a little bit better than is your own dad, because he was fucking awful. I almost gagged on my own dick watching his promos. Go back to Pikeville and bend over for your daddy, you've been taking it in the ass your whole XWF career, so you're probably used to it enough for him now."

Bilbo licks his fingers, smacking his lips at the cummy flavor.

"Mmm. Pineapple. Listen Dolly, you never rolled me anywhere. You barely even 'kicked out' because the toxic shock was seeping into your bloodstream. Next time I pin you you'll 1. Cum and 2. Lose. Now go fix up your makeup, we can all see the mark on your neck the cord left in utero."

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

Dolly Said:Last time I checked she was rolling a spaghetti-legged queer in a wheel chair out into oncoming traffic while laughing.

Frodo's cum rag Said:Listen Dolly, you never rolled me anywhere.

Frodo's cum rag Said:
Listen Dolly, you never rolled me anywhere.

Fordo' cum rag Said::
"Listen Dolly, you never rolled me anywhere."

"The thoughts of and concerns of spaghetti-legged queers in wheelchairs are invalid."

**05-04-2017, 10:30 AM**

Michael is sitting at home browsing through xwf content that he is no longer a part of, wouldn't suddenly he sees this.

(05-04-2017, 10:02 AM)Bilbo Brommer Blumpkinz Said: "Is that it? I thought you were the self-proclaimed trash talking queen of the XWF, past present and future? Oh wait, I forgot, you're just some dumb kid with two hairs on her quim that says words like 'fagboi' because she once heard Luca say it and she wants to be edgy."

Michael spits is Hi-C cooler all over his computer monitor in shock at what he just heard.

"There's already hair down there!?!"

edited this post - 05-04-2017 10:35 AM

Edited by Dr. Mathews

Bilbo Blumpkinz · **05-04-2017, 10:40 AM**

Someone Tell Dolly Said:"Oh fuck everybody look out, Austin Fernando is here."

This Shit Got Old Said:"What are you gonna do next, put hashtags everywhere and call me Fuccboi?"

In 2014 Said:"Try something original."

**05-04-2017, 10:40 AM**

"Are you kidding me?"

Darius Xavier · (05-04-2017)

Mr. Graves, need I remind you that you are no longer employed by this company? I feel as though I made myself clear when I said that these kinds of actions will no longer be tolerated. I was brought in for a specific reason, Mr. Graves. To monitor and defend against all cyber activity deemed unfit by the XWF management team. I would suggest you heed my warnings, I would rather avoid taking more drastic measures in the future.

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

(05-04-2017, 10:40 AM)Bilbo Brommer Blumpkinz Said:
Someone Tell Dolly Said:"Oh fuck everybody look out, Austin Fernando is here."

This Shit Got Old Said:"What are you gonna do next, put hashtags everywhere and call me Fuccboi?"

In 2014 Said:"Try something original."

#fuccboi
#

#everythingisunoriginal
#ferngotti
#3xbetter
#suckmydick
#triggerd
#brommersptsd
#eatshit
#trump2016
#feelthebern
#cavlife
#words

#

Bilbo Blumpkinz · (05-04-2017)

"You can go ahead and admit you have nothing to say now, it's okay. You're going to go blind frantically searching the archives for zingers older, better, trash talkers used before you. While you're at it, pause that briefcase countdown too. We both know yours is ending the same way Maverick's did - without one."

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

"What more do you expect me to say to you, ass breath?

Yer' a virus that grew from Yankee hickville septic waste and by some miracle finally developed a few half working appendages straight from your gaping anal cavity before nearly succumbing to jaundice and infantile AIDS. Now you spend your life in a wheelchair jerking your skinny worm to Gilmour podcasts while drawing a government check. You're just not worth my time sugar, and I'm so bored right now that I was jumping through fucking time portals to appear in bullshit old vignettes just for the fuck it.

I never proclaimed to be the queen of any thing around here, and I frankly give two burrito sized shits how you or anyone else feels about my promos. I win matches. I win titles. I beat Universal Champions. I eat skittles. I watch Nickelodeon. I wet the bed out of spite. I pretty much do, and say what in the fuck I feel like.

In my next promo I'll steal one of yer' lines and make it better. Bye.

Bilbo Blumpkinz · (05-04-2017)

"Go ahead and take another day off that countdown, saggylips, it took you so long to make a comeback that it's officially Cinqo de Mayo."

Bilbo puts on a sombrero and then puts a smaller sombrero on his dick.

"Wait. Did you say you beat Universal Champions? Bitch, Scully and Gilly don't count. Those were Make-A-Wish obligations, not title reigns. Try a real Universal Champion like Theo Pryce or John Samuels or Doc D'Ville. Hell even Vannie Lome would whip that ass. Lome would give you a baby in your mouth with enough left over to fill those meth cavities. All you are is Maverick in a wig. Except he was able to win the tag team titles when he tried."

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

Damn... nice tag titles rib, and invoking Maverick jokes while calling me unoriginal. You got me, I'm terrible for losing to Doc and Soldier when my partner shit the bed.

I mean I've only ever been in title matches my entire fucking career cept' for a select few. If I can't win them all what in the fuck am I even doing?!? Sheesh, I should probably just give the fuck up already!

:.(

Bilbo Blumpkinz · **05-04-2017, 11:51 AM**

"Hit a nerve there, Thumb-Clit?"

Bilbo cracks himself up while making his thumb wiggle around like an oversized clit.

"Your partner shit the bed? Or maybe he didn't want to waste his time with a loser tag partner after he already had an illustrious career of his own? Luca wins tag team titles like you gain tan lines from cum puddles while passed out on some Kentucky 'beach,' aka the least syringe-infested patch of dead grass next to a brown river. Real talk, don't take it so hard that you aren't good enough. I know your real life sucks, Kentucky sucks, you've got nothing and nobody who cares about you... so you come to XWF and find the exact same thing! Congrats! Now let's see if I can get both balls in your mouth at one time."

Bilbo rolls slowly forward with his balls in his fist.

Dolly Waters · (05-04-2017)

"Oh the old 'your partner must not of cared-"

Dolly is stopped mid-rebuttal at the sight of 2017's Gollum rolling toward her, his baby fist full of what appears to be red-spotted mozzarella. She raises an eye brow and holds back a gag as the musty smell of crusted animal anal juice lingers out from Bilbo's genitals.

"Dude, please sto-sto"

Dolly vomits on Bilbo,

"Okay, dude. I tap. You win. Have the vomit as a keep sake, it'll probably be the most fiber rich thing you've had since that last glass of Gilly Jiz."

Bilbo Blumpkinz · **05-04-2017, 12:06 PM**

Bilbo stops after Dolly regurgitates all the half brother and sisters that Muddy Waters left in her stomach that morning.

He looks down at the puddle of spew in his naked lap and then grabs two hands full of it and uses it like baby oil to lube up his jerking motions.

Satisfied, he rolls away.

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