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JonPlex · (04-25-2014)

When we last left our hero, Jon Plex, he was preparing for his biggest match yet in the XWF. The nWo battle royale. Unless you live under a freakin’ rock, then you know than Plex managed to outlast all other competitors and sealed his victory by simultaneously eliminating Genesis and Sebastian Duke. To the victor goes the spoils and now he is guaranteed a shot at the XWF title in the near future. If that wasn’t enough reason to be celebrating, he has also just learned that on Monday Night Madness that he will be part of the three-way x-treme rules match for the European title. It seems like nothing can go wrong for the XWF’s newest sensation! Perhaps that explains why he is currently butchering Tina Turner’s “Simply the best” at the top of his lungs.

Jon Plex
I’M SIMPLY THE BEST! BETTER THAN ALL THE REST!

Todd Vincent
How long do you plan on keeping this up? My ears are reaching their breaking point as are my nerves.

Jon Plex
Well what good is winning if a guy can’t enjoy himself?

Todd Vincent
You have been singing those two lines…those two lines ONLY for the last two days. I’d say you have more than enjoyed yourself and annoyed those around you at the same time.

Jon Plex
Party pooper!

Todd Vincent
I’m just ready to move forward. Progress takes a back seat for no one, including you.

Jon Plex
I’m just having a hard time trying to focus on the week ahead. That crowd…it’s everything I remembered it being back in the day! The emotion, the love they showed me Todd… it still gives me goosebumps! I feel like as long as I have them behind me, there is nothing I cannot achieve!

Todd Vincent
I’m glad you’ve made a connection with your fans. I won’t say that it might not serve a purpose, but at the end of the day it’s only you in that ring. You need to prepare yourself and start game planning for Warfare. You wanted the spotlight so you could shine, well now you have the stage.

Jon Plex
I know, I know.

Todd Vincent
That crowd was rocking though wasn’t it?

Jon Plex
I knew it! The bug bit you too! Hot damn!

Todd Vincent
Hah, yeah I guess a little. You did real good Jonny boy, and people are starting to take notice. Just as we predicted. All the pieces are starting to fall nicely in place. Aside from that German fuck Romulus cowardly attacking you, it was a good night.

Jon Plex
Romulus Winters need to be concerned with making an appointment with a nail salon. Did you see those disgusting nails of his? That’s a manicure from hell waiting to happen!

Todd Vincent
Those Asians better have some heavy duty power tools on standby. They’ll probably frame the before and after photos of that one.

Jon Plex
I can’t say I didn’t see it coming though. I’m heading warp speed to the top and some people obviously don’t want to see that happen.

Todd Vincent
The moment you signed that contract it became inevitable. You are destined for that title Jon, we just have to deal with a few speed bumps here and there.

Jon Plex
I guess you are right. Warfare was a blast and all, but I need to move on. Hell if I start living in the past, I’ll be no better than Sebastian Duke’s old creepy ass!

Todd Vincent
Nobody wants that!

Jon Plex
So Mr.Information, who’s trying to build a dam in my river of success this week?

Todd Vincent
That would be Kendall Sawyer and Wyatt Reynolds.

Jon Plex
The list just keeps growing. I think I’m about to set a record for how many XWF wrestlers faced in my first month.

Todd Vincent
This time you got some proven competition. Sawyer won the battle royale on last week’s Madness if you recall and Reynolds of course is the European champ.

Jon Plex
Yeah I didn’t really bother catching the first battle royale, but congrats to the Sawyer dude. I guess we are like battle royale eskimo brothers now since we both won. Maybe he’ll be able to put aside that I’m going to win the European title and we can be friends afterwards.

Todd Vincent
Sawyer is a she Jon.

Jon Plex
Ho ho, good one Todd. How about we leave the jokes and nonsense to me pal.

Todd Vincent
Oh don’t be that guy!

Jon Plex
I like structure Todd. If you wanted to be the funny guy then you should have told me before we started here. The gimmicks are set in stone by god!

Todd Vincent
No, you misunderstand me. I’m talking about being the sexist pig who doesn’t believe women can make it in the wrestling world.

Jon Plex
See, there’s the nonsense! I am perfectly aware that women can be dominant in the ring… against other women.

Todd Vincent
Here we go! Look, this isn’t the early 1900s. Women have broken new barriers and are fully capable of competing with men at any level.

Jon Plex
Hahahaha! Are you being serious right now? The only thing women can break is hearts and nails. Seeing as I’m not planning on sending Sawyers flowers, we can rule romantic issues out of the equation. Maybe she can just skip this match and go help Romulus with his claw problem.

Todd Vincent
Jon, just a few moments ago you were praising her for winning the battle royale. You of all people should respect and recognize what an accomplishment that is!

Jon Plex
Yeah, that’s when I was under the impression she was a he. Now my whole view of her has changed!

Todd Vincent
So, her sex is the deciding factor? The fact that she is skilled in her craft and successful isn’t cause enough to show her some respect?

Jon Plex
First of all I don’t care who she is sexing. Second, if she wants respect then I’d advise she listen to some Aretha because she won’t find it here.

Todd Vincent
I can honestly say I’m ashamed of you.

Jon Plex
Oh boo hoo! I’m sure she doesn't think men are superior to her, so I reserve the right to think that women are inferior to me. She might be getting over on some of these clowns here, but I’ve already shown that I’m a different breed.

Todd Vincent
Well maybe during the next fews days leading up to Madness you will change your mind.

Jon Plex
Highly doubtful. Maybe the part about sending her flowers, but that’s about it. Hell I am a gentleman after all!

Todd Vincent
I’m sure she’ll understand…

Jon Plex
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Todd Vincent
So am I correct then in assuming Wyatt Reynolds is your only concern then?

Jon Plex
Can I get a buzzer sound synonymous with being incorrect?

Ennnnnggghhhhhh!

Jon Plex
Thank you!

Todd Vincent
What are you saying?

Jon Plex
Try to keep up Toddy. Wyatt Reynolds does not concern me simply because he is the European champ. Holding a title in the XWF in it’s current state is nothing to be praised for. It’s essentially like saying you were the best turd in the toilet bowl. Have you seen some of his work? He is a super racist and always involved in really boring scenes with people and events that have nothing to do with his matches. Come to think of it, Sawyers is the same way.

Todd Vincent
You are right there. I feel like I’m watching an episode of some girly, teeny bop Fox Family sitcom when Sawyers comes on. It’s certainly different, but not in a good way.

Jon Plex
She’s a soap opera. Airing all these internal family issues and personal struggles. This is wrestling baby cakes, not Days of our lives. No one cares about your stupid uncle no more than they care about global warming. Reynolds... he's just a really bad, racist reality show star. I'm not black, nor Jewish so he'll probably have a difficult time coming up with anything remotely intelligent to say about me.

Todd Vincent
Sick burn!

Jon Plex
Speaking of burn, can we go outside for a bit? It’s such a nice day outside and I don’t wanna be cooped up in this room all day wasting my time explaining why the European title is as good as mine.

Todd Vincent
I suppose so.

Jon Plex
Yay!

Plex and Todd leave their motel room to venture out into the world. Across the street, Plex notices a shopping mall with a stereotypical all-Asian staffed nail salon. He cracks a huge smile and returns back to the room where he prints off a picture of Romulus. He then proceeds to head over to the nail salon and show the picture of his fingernails to the poor women who instantly begin projectile vomiting.

Jon Plex
Haha this is great!

Asian Lady
何が見られていることは目に見えないことはできません!

Jon Plex
What the fuck!?

Todd Vincent
My Japanese is a little rusty, but I think she said something along the lines of not being able to un-see that picture.

Jon Plex
Hilarious! All this smell of vomit and Japanese people is making me hungry. Let’s go grab some sushi somewhere.

Todd Vincent
That’s disturbing, but I could go for a spicy tuna roll.

Jon Plex
Yeahhh buddy! Get us out of here Mr.Scene!

Yessir! Plex and Todd leave the poor women to their lifetime of nightmares and head off into the sunset in search of sushi. We have a ways to go before Madness and I’m sure more Plex is on the menu before then. Until we meet again, all hail Plex!

#moreplexplease

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