The scene opens to Morbid Angel standing in a dark room…for no reason he is just standing there looking all dark and broody…Morbid looks at the camera and hit’s a switch. The ceiling lights up with 6 florescent light panels making it seem brighter than the outside…Morbid Angel looks at the camera and starts to speak.















Morbid-“Vincent Kane…you are a funny man…how is it that you believe you are still in this? What the hell is going through your tiny child like mind of yours. Here you are talking crazy when it comes to Morbid Angel and accusing me of sucking dicks and how gay my slogan of Victory Forever is…what the fuck man…are you really grasping at straws? Did I not give you more ammo that what you used? Were talking I was sitting around making Animal noises! You didn’t even mention that! That would have been the first thing I would have mentioned when dealing with me! I would have been like “Nigga! Did you just make elephant sounds?” and then tried to tie in how Morbid Angel sucks elephant cock! But I don’t so instead I’ll say this…

Steve Sayers! You cheated on me! I thought we were friends and now you are sitting with my enemy asking him questions and not warning him of the dangers of MORBID FUCKING ANGEL! I am very disappointed!

Now I will go on to your lack of worry…how can you be so stupid? Even the best of men here are a little timid when stepping into the ring with Morbid Angel. You are not worried? Why? Are you going to burn me with your cigarettes? Maybe you are going to have that ugly whore who appeared in your roleplay suck me off and while I’m distracted you come up from behind me and stab me with your tiny penis!? And then that would be murder…because I would kill you…with my hands……….

And then you go onto talk about your way to the top…blah blah blah…I’ve heard this a million times from other people talking about the top. You have no top! There is no top for you. In fact I see your future as bright as day…you are here today and you will probably quit after this match and run far away into the sun set. that’s what happens here in the XWF…these new mother fuckers come in and want to be all big and bad so they suck the management cock and get a high profile match…Like with Morbid Angel…then when they get fucked up so bad in the ring they become discouraged and quit….do you think I am weak? Do you think I‘m fat?”








Morbid Angel rips off his shirt and jumps in front of a large outdoor poster. he flexes for the camera.
















Morbid Angel-”WHAT THE FUCKS UP NOW YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH! MUSCLE TIME!!!!”










Morbid Angel strikes a few more poses and does a quick spin and magically David Hasselhoff appears in the room.



















Morbid Angel-”What the fuck are you doing here?”











David Hasselhoff strikes a few poses while answering.










David Hasselhoff-”I’m here for you, baby…no homo.”


Morbid Angel-”Damn…I thought for a moment you were here to rape me! I would going to have to kill an old motherfucker…”


David Hasselhoff-”Baby, you don’t need to worry. I am what most would call…sexually inclined with it comes to the ladies! I love the pussy!”


Morbid Angel-”Good…because for a second there I thought you were gay…because you look gay…and you sing gay music and you made yourself famous for running around on the beach in your underwear…that must be gay stereotypes kicking in…”


David Hasselhoff-”Nope, Straight as an arrow.”


Morbid Angel-”not all arrows are straight…you do know that? Were talking those motherfuckers are bent a little…are you bent a little?…Don’t answer! I know you are!”










Magically a tray of tea appears in the room covered with tea bags…from England… and cups for them to drink said tea.











Morbid Angel-”Oh no! do you know what time it is David Cockelhoff? Its tea time!”


David Hasselhoff-”Does the tea have whisky in it?”


Morbid Angel-”…..no…..I have a match in a few hours.”


David Hasselhoff-”Can mine have whisky in it?”


Morbid Angel-”Sure! In fact…no tea in your cup! Just whisky!”










Morbid swats David Hasselhoffs tea cup off the table and slams down a gallon of Crown Royal….









Morbid Angel-”BOOM! I just pulled that out of thin air! Its fucking magic!”









Not really. Morbid Angel had it sitting under a cloth that matched with the wall…no real magic!










Morbid Angel-”So…David…I can’t stay long! I have to fucking do this match…but I’d love for you to join me once again for another promo this week.”


David Hasselhoff-”Will there be Whisky?”


Morbid Angel-”As much as your pickled liver can handle! Can you feel it?”


David Hasselhoff-”I want to! How big are you?”


Morbid Angel-”…what the fuck kind of question is that for another man? I feel all dirty and shit!….homo! Now if you’ll excuse me for a second. I need to Say something to Vincent Kane…”


David Hasselhoff-”Go right ahead.”


Morbid Angel-”So you know Vincent…After this match you won’t have to act like you forgot who I am…I am the most memorable person here! Even people in other federations know my name! FEAR ME YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF FUCKING SHIT!”










The two sit there sipping their drinks.

The scene fades to a Blood Red!