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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
He has a WABAC Machine?!
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SwagMire
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#1
03-22-2014, 01:13 AM

Swagmire woke up, showered and brushed his teeth. Today was a good day! He could feel it in the soles of his brand new Sperry shoes. It was going to be the day Radio and he would go on an awesome adventure without killing anyone. Because that's what best friends do, they go on adventures without killing people They hadn't had much luck with that, but today is the day!

He hopped in his Ford Taurus and drove over to Radio's apartment where he noticed there was an ice cream van parked outside and a fleet of stripper mobiles. Great, what can go wrong with strippers and ice cream. Oh yeah, the Wendy's adventure, and the time they killed 4 men before going to a strip club. Well, I guess it can't get worse than that day. Or maybe it can, not sure. Don't really wanna find out, I mean that day was friggen odd. John Austin literally killed two people in a Wendy's, and there was no outcry. None at all.

Anyway, Swagmire walked up and knocked on the door. A stripper in just a g-string who looked like she was about to pass out answered the door. She looked like she had been awake for 3 days straight, and somehow ended up with jelly, like from a PB&J on her breasts. Swagmire did not want to know, this was some next level white people shit.

"Can I help you? You the poh lease?! We ain't breaking no laws here mister gone arrest me and mah girl Keita..."

Orange][b]"Ma'am, I am not the police, but I assure you if I was I would not want to take you or your girl 'Keita' anywhere. I'm simply looking for my friend, Michael. He lives here. is he in right now?"[/orange]

"Michael? You mean Big Daddy? He's sitting in his chair watching Fresh Prince, demanding we bring him Raspberry Shakes, and Walter White. I think he might have gone insane. That nigga..."

Radio hit the stripper, who from this point on we'll call Kandii, with a big boot to her bare jelly covered chest. She hits the ground hard, and he steps on her breast before dropping one of his bars of soap down her mouth.

"First of all, that word is not acceptable for anyone to use, unless they're black, or a white midget who happens to do crack and was adopted by a black family, and his son may or may not be in an incestuous relationship with someone who may or may not be his half sister. These are just pointless things to try and debate right now, we need a DNA test to prove anything other than the fact that Joseph Gordon needs to get some condoms and never eat a stripper's cooch. The second thing is, Michael Radio is one of my best friends, I would take a bullet for him. Don't ever speak ill of him again or I will karate chop you so hard your left nipple will explode. Seriously, I'll make that shit go Chernobyl. Gotta it? Good."


Swagmire walked into the house and saw Radio just sitting there sipping on a raspberry shake while watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. When he caught sight of Swagmire he jumped right up.

"Girls, get the fuck out. You've been paid already. My friend and I have things to discuss. Many things."

The girls all quickly got dressed and hurried out, except for Kandii. She stayed back long enough to hand Swagmire back his soap, which he quickly placed back in his back pocket. No one is sure why he keeps soap in his back pocket, but he does. And more than one bar. Anyway, as the girls all left it was just those two left in the apartment alone together. Radio leaned in and looked Swagmire directly in the eyes, and began to speak very slowly.

"So, you love Ally, huh? You come in here and try and be my friend after calling me stupid only to try and get with Ally?! And then you have to steal my chance at the US Title?! Are you trying to fuck me over?! Is that what you really want?! To fuck me over and prove that I can't figure out a can of fucking Coca-Cola?! Well, fuck you Swagmire!"

Radio pulled an unopened can of coke from the side of the chair and popped it open with one hand before chugging it.

"What?! No. I didn't know you were in love with her when I fell for her. And I only tried to get you a chance at the title, I never wanted it. I'm not going to back out now, but I never wanted to go against you. You're my best friend, next to Aldous. I'm sorry you feel like I'm screwing you over. I wish I could control my feelings for Ally, but I just can't."

Radio looked Swagmire up and down intensely before speaking once more.

"I...AM...Fucking...With...you. I know you're not trying to fuck me over like that, and Ally. I'm not going after her. She had her chances, maybe you two will work out."

"Actually, she turned me down and I made plans with that new girl. She seems pretty cute and cool."

"Ally's loss. Come on, I gotta show you something. First, I need to shower, I smell like a mixture of raspberry's and strippers. Not a bad smell, but I don't want to attract every man we pass."

Radio ran off to shower and quickly came back in a T-shirt that read "SwagZilla" on the front and "#1 Killa" on the back. These are currently on sale in the XWF website if any of you choose to buy one that is entirely up to you and no is forcing you, but please remember every minute that passes where one doesn't sell Celine Dion writes a new song. Think of the children who are cursed with hearing. The pair got in Swag's car and headed off towards the destination Radio had set for them. It was his time machine. Swagmire just stared in awe at this thing.

"You have a WABAC machine!? That is the coolest thing ever. Are we gonna travel in it?"

"No, I do not have a Wabac machine, I have a time machine. And yes we are. Come on, let's go. We're going someplace secret."

The pair of miscreant pals got into the time machine and Radio messed with some things that seemed way too complex for Swaggy, so he just kind of watched. The machine flinched and Radio went to open the door. As he stepped outside someone hit him in the back of the head with the butt of a pistol. Swagmire ran out to check on him and got hit as well. He fell down and hit the ground hard. His body just lay there all limp and unconscious....
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[-] The following 2 users Like SwagMire's post:
Morbid Angel (03-22-2014), Ozymandias (03-26-2014)




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