Oh, right. Enigma isn't the only one in this match. I tend to forget that when everyone else seriously makes me wonder if I've developed Alzheimer's because when I sat down and took a look at the list of people in the match, I couldn't even recall any time I've seen them, let alone remembered anything that would make me take note. So, which of these serial underachievers (actually, they're probably achieving about as much as they're capable of) should I set my eyes on first? Liz Hathaway and her undying love for me? Hunter Payne and his 0 and 2 record against me? Maybe the upstart Kristy Jackson whose claim to fame as of late is getting her neck broken and losing to a fucking mutant with a dog(e) for a head.
Or maybe I start with the guy who lost to Mister Radio.
Hey Swagmire. I don't know if anyone ever told you this, but you're utter shit when it comes to this trash talk game. Seriously, trying to insult anyone after you took a fucking loss to Radio? Especially continuing to poke that bear further. Newsflash: you weren't good enough to beat him then, you aren't good enough to beat him now and because you're a totally untalented schlep you'll never be good enough to beat him. Aren't you winless or something? Nevermind, he beat Charlotte Dyson! What a victory! Go on, brag about debuting in a title match that you fucked up harder than every single time you open your mouth combined. Talk about how you were a cop and how you're a delightful racist and all that other shit.
When your brother's corpse could outwrestle you, you should realize just how big of a mistake you made coming into this business. Then again, seeing as though you have the intellect of a cockroach, I'm not too surprised you haven't gotten the fucking hint yet.
But go on, keep failing in every opportunity you're given. Lose this match and every other one you're going to have before you get lynched by the racism round table. Be nothing.
Embrace the fact that no matter what you say, you'll never amount to anything.
And I haven't even touched his address to me! Oh, this was a thing. A thing that made me question his already deficient intelligence but was a thing nonetheless. First off, he claims that I lost my memory. I wish I was kidding. Maybe I forgot that I forgot everything too! What a fucking idiot. Then he claims that Tri Bute's planning on replacing me and claiming that I'm going to off myself soon. Bute kinda sorta really needs me so even he says things like that, he's future begging to whatever future god he believes in that I don't wise up to how badly he needs me, and that I don't. Then again, I wouldn't expect someone who has never been relied on in their life to recognize that.
Also, I'll answer your question with another one: why would I care if anyone likes me? Seriously? This is a fucking wrestling company not a sorority. However, since your mind is so stuck in High School that popularity is still such a big deal to you, I have to ask you the same thing. Does anyone like you? Looks like a no, and seeing as though everyone bullies you with their ability to form sentences better than you could ever dream, maybe you should off yourself. Maybe then people will remember who you are.
I shouldn't get your hopes up. That won't happen no matter how many scars you put in your wrists.
Moving on from that trainwreck.
Since no one else is actively trying to combat me in this whole trash talk thing (they're afraid I'll hurt their feelings and make them perform worse than they already do when it comes time for the match. I don't blame them; if I sucked as much as they do and had as much emotional issues as they likely have, I wouldn't want my feelings hurt too close to surefire failure as well!) I'll just go on the offensive here and bring up people in passing as they don't deserve too much attention.
-Liz Hathaway: Meh, nothing personal. Just another untalented sack of trash to deal with when the time comes.
-Guppy Parsh: I've been too busy laughing at this guy to even realize he was supposed to be serious. Meh, still better than the real Gilmour.
-Kristy Jackson - Didn't she like get her neck broken already? Oh well, she wouldn't be too hard to beat with a working neck.
-Michael McBride: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-Mr. Radio: He's better than Swagmire. Not an accomplishment, but still. He's going to choke like he always does though.
-Trevor Lord: Who? No, seriously. Who?
-Tommy Wish: Worthless, absolutely worthless.
-Hunter Payne: Someone I've beaten ad infinitum. The cycle will continue until the end of time, no matter how many times he tries to call me a whore.
-Charlotte Dyson: Lost to Swagmire, and is the trashy skank attached to Wyatt Reynolds' dick of zero dignity. A street whore painted up like a confederate flag to mask the fact that she's a vapid cum dumpster that will be thrown away as soon as Wyatt gets tired of fucking it. I say it because I'm not even sure she's a woman. I'm leaning more towards alien with a completely mutable personality.
cockroach, I'm not too surprised you haven't gotten the fucking hint yet.
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
