I struggled to sleep that night. I woke up after a brief sleep in a ball of sweat. Wearing just a t-shirt and boxers I leant over my bathroom sink and looked at my own face, contemplating. I desperately threw cold water over my face and seeing as I was up again I decided to check that the doors and windows were secure... again.
That was the third time I had checked that night.
The words that Ammon whispered to me haunted me, they echoed around the room like a shout in a church hall.
“Trust no one.” Those three words curdled my blood and tingled my spine even now. It may seem hard to believe after all that I have been through but I am naturally a loyal man. I must admit then when choosing which loyalty is more important that it is a struggle.
Before I was jailed I once chose my girlfriend's loyalty over my best friend's. That was probably a mistake but I try not to dwell on mistakes.
I sat down on the chair and had a sip of whisky straight from the 'Jack Daniels' bottle. It burnt the back of my throat but it was a pleasurable pain. After a few more gulps I decided to check the door's security once more before attempting to sleep once more.
I lay awake for most of the night with the image of stars in my head, but vividly I predicted the outcome of my upcoming match with Elisha. I hate to admit it but I really cannot see myself winning that match. He beat Mr. Supernova, the man who held that Television Belt since its creation. It takes a lot to beat Mr. Supernova, and I don't feel I am anywhere near that level yet... it's still early days.
As I decided it was time to get up, I headed straight into the living room to have some more whisky. I looked around the table where I left it, but then a man swung around on the spinning chair in my living room.
“Looking for something?”
He smiled with a look of irony. He rolled his eyes with a sympathetic smile on his face.
Completely baffled I stepped back before realising it was Ammon.
“How, but... I....”
“Yes, yes, how did I get in here? I didn't become a spy by revealing my tricks, do you really think that drinking at 8 am in the morning is such a good idea? What did I say about Elisha? Are you taking this seriously?”
“Yes but it helps me relax...”
“You don't need to relax. You need to prepare, not to mention alcohol slows your reflexes down... with the amount of people desperate to see your head on the end of a spear I wouldn't say slowing your reflexes is a great idea would you?”
The calm man sighed. He put a wig in his pocket which I was slightly confused by, it must have been another one of his confusing disguises. He was a walking talking Mr. Potatohead if you ask me.
“I was thinking about what you were saying the other night. Trust no one you said. Trusting no one is pretty difficult, you mean to tell me you cannot rely on anyone in this world.”
“Oh I never said that I couldn't trust anyone, but I am saying that YOU shouldn't because what is going on in your life right now, most men do not go through. Time is running out for you in this world if you are not careful. Your vanity and you recklessness may have been good traits to have in prison but out here in this world. People do not approve of either of those things.”
“I will not change who I am at the word of a man I do not know and at the word of a man I should not and do not trust. The pendulum will keep on swinging for me I am afraid Ammon and I am afraid to say that I think that worries you. What do you want?”
“I want what is best for the federation. Someone must want that otherwise we are merely waiting for the federation to burn. Some of these men would happily be King even if it meant that they were the king of nothingness. They do not care about this place, they do not care about what is best for the people who compete here. They care about themselves, their glory and their pride. You fight for Eli James next week, but what difference do you think it will make if it is he who becomes the overlord of this place rather than the administrator network? Do you think things will become all nice and friendly? No. You want to win next week because you know that if your team is victorious then you are more likely to be awarded. You are like everyone else, you fight for your own selfish desires.”
“See Ammon, you hate to admit it but the selfish man tends to come first in this world...”
“So that's why you see fit to break any vow you have ever sworn?”
“I don't see fit to do so, it is the mere inevitable.There are a million vows to swear and they all contradict and conflict... it's too much. I swore secrecy to our conversations, as did you... but how do I really know that you have kept your vow. How do I know you are any different to these men who want to see the world burn? All I know about you is that you are sly, a master of disguise and a man who knows a lot that he probably shouldn't. Tell me the truth though Ammon, is it really just the federation you serve?”
“You know, Ambrose, I find it awfully strange that you ask so many questions. I would hate to tell you what happened to the last man who kept on asking questions to the wrong people...”
“Why do I have a feeling you are going to tell me anyway?”
“Put it this way, he's not here any more... that's putting it nicely... Now go and have a shower and shave, we're going to the gym. You need to train.”
“We?”
“Well, no... you are but I will walk with you. There are a couple more things I think we must discuss, and it will be easier to show you than to tell you.”
I did as he said. I showered, brushed my teeth and shaved. Then I put on some jogging bottoms and a white t-shirt. As we left I put on a grey zip hooded jumper. Ammon didn't approve but we left none the less.
There was little conversation until we arrived at the coffee shop where I met Lily last week. We did not enter but we did stand on the outside and look in like window shopper tourists.
“You know when you met Lily in here there was the rude girl? Well, she was a spy. Not for me, but for someone else. Do you know how many secret conversations happen in the least busy coffee shop in the U.S? Too many to count. There's a reason this place remains open and it isn't because of the thriving business or the excellent coffee...”
“You know this...”
I was going to ask how, before I was rudely interrupted...
“My own spies tell me. You see whilst some choose to stand out in the open, which is sometimes wise... as I do. My spies lurk in the shadows and in the walls. I will not explain how that is possible but it is. Fear not though, your walls are impossible to breach. Even the finest spies cannot squeeze in those gaps... I show you this to give you an indication of how many people know about you, know where you are and will continue to follow you.”
“Why don't they simply come and kill me if they know where I am?”
“There's a rumour that a certain police chief has you constantly protected without you even knowing, so it won't be that simple.”
I gazed back into the coffee shop and then turned around to reply but Ammon had vanished. I was startled but couldn't act too strangely so I headed straight to the gym. Once again I was alone. Although, that's not unusual. I may not be alone physically all the time but in this world it was really just me. I am the only man like me.
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