“Hey, it's me again. I know you don't want anything to do with me after everything that has happened. If you ever truly loved me though, meet me in the café on the corner of fifty third street. It's almost always empty and we can talk over a coffee. I'll be there at precisely 7.30PM. If you aren't there by 7.45 I'll just assume you aren't coming and I’ll leave you alone.”
I know it seems dumb, but I really just wanted her to hear me out. She doesn't understand what I have been through, she doesn't know. No one knows. No one can even begin to imagine what captivity feels like. That's why it all hurts so damn much. People want to think I enjoy being in these shackles? How sorely mistaken they are. These shackles weigh a man down, sure one can get used to being trapped but that certainly doesn't mean it is a good thing.
I want to feel the release of freedom more than anything. Perhaps my girlfriend will begin to understand what I have been through.
I wore a shirt and tie as well as smart trousers and some sleek black shoes to go and meet her. I looked out of place in the worn down café. It was like something you would seen in a movie where the heroes devise a plan. Unfortunately, I'm no hero any more. Instead I remain to be seen as public enemy number one. The only person in the small café was a waitress who clearly recognised me. She was very reluctant to serve me but obviously they were pretty grateful for any customers they got. I ordered myself a black coffee and I ordered my ex-girlfriend her favourite drink, a mocha with one sugar.
It was 7.37PM. I didn't think she was coming at that point, she was usually renowned for being quite punctual. As it hit 7.44PM the door swung open and there she was. She looked as beautiful as ever. She wore a yellow summers dress despite the cool air outside and her blue eyes lit up the room. Her olive skin glistened as she strutted towards the table I was sat at, the one in the far corner, the furthest away from the waitress.
“Look Ambrose, I shouldn't be here. I'm engaged to someone else.”
I didn't know how to react to that, I looked into her deep sea eyes and stared at her sparkling brown hair.
“Well?”
I asked the question that I always asked.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you leave me? How could you leave me? We were so happy together, and it clearly didn't take you long to move on.”
She slapped me across the face, I might have deserved that. I held my cheek and looked at her again.
“How dare you. It took me two years to get over you Ambrose, two years. Do you know what I have been through? For two years I was the girl who dated the evil man. The man who threw it all away they were calling you. A career, a relationship, your friends. Oh and by the way, Darren has been calling after you. He deleted your number when you were trialled guilty and he doesn't know where you live. He's willing to give you a second chance but I'm certainly not. It wasn't just your own life you ruined that night you know. You didn't just lose yourself, I lost the love of my life.”
“But...”
“No. It wasn't just the drunk man who died that night because of you. It was the real you. Look at you now, trying to put on an act that everything is okay. Doesn't it bother you that people are calling you murderer behind your back? Doesn't it bother you that no one is happy that you have been released?”
“Of course it bothers me.”
“Well it bothers me too. You've plagued my name as well as your own.”
“That's what this is all about isn't it? This isn't about our love being lost. This isn't about me. This is all about you. Your reputation and what went wrong because of a crime I didn't even commit. You know the day I set foot into that courtroom, the day you ended it. The judge did what he did best, he judged me guilty from the moment he set his eyes on me and there was nothing I could do about it. All they had as evidence was the word of the man who broke his promise and broke his vows. Christopher, that is. I will never understand why my own partner could do such a thing as turn his back on me. They had his word and some finger prints on the gun that was fired. He used my gun you know, not me. He's the guilty one yet look at him. A promotion, the chief of police in Miami whilst I struggle to find a job.”
“I hear you're become a wrestler? That's the current national Ambrose update. Thanks for that by the way. You're going to disgrace my name once more by trying to fight with the finest wrestlers in the world? Do as you wish but you shall never mutter my name through your twisted breaths again. Our love was lost when you disgraced the badge you wore and the gun you held. Was it partly about my reputation? Yes. Do you know how hard it was to get my career going again? I didn't get a modelling contract for months.”
“I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. Why is it that you do not believe the man that you apparently loved? I feel like now you're just back tracking. You know me and you know my vanity, would I really shoot a running man?”
“I never said you did. You were proven guilty after you claimed innocent, am I meant to say the law is wrong?”
“The law was wrong. They admitted as such when they released me from my hell. People have their ideas of heaven and hell. I believe I saw it and suffered its evil. No one can understand. No one should have to. Not only to go through it but to go through it wrongly as well. It's too much. It doesn't matter though, it has led me to my new career and that is fighting and making sure that people don't get up. No one believes in me, I'll show them, I'll show you and I'll show the world that this has all been wrong.”
“Do what you want Ambrose. Just don't include me in your little drama any more. We're done.”
“Lily, no.”
“Don't Ambrose, just don't.”
She stood up and she headed out. She glanced back once before slamming the café door rather abruptly. I took one more sip of my coffee and I said that word again that continued to echo in my head.
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