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Archie Lawson · (03-05-2014)

Swagmire is standing in a dark room with 4 other men by him. A smoke like substance begins to fill the room, suddenly music begins to pump through the speakers placed somewhere out of sight. The five gentlemen all begin to dance in a choreographed fashion. Wait, are we witnessing them filming a music video? The four guys in the back begin to harmonize, shit yeah it’s a 90’s boy band. Swaggy begins to sing.

“Heeeeeeeeey, everybody! Mr. Radio’s a bitch now. Rock your cocks now. Cause unlike Radio you’ve got one. Radioooooooo grow a sack, yoooooooooo. Stop being a bitch runnin round hidin. Act like man and step right up…”

”Hold up, dawg. You didn’t tell us we’d be bashing some dude named Radio. I thought we’d be talking about girls and stuff. I’m not trying to fight someone. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’m way too cute to be involved in a fight. Can you imagine if some dude broke my nose? I’m out.”

One of the random dudes walked off, followed by two other guys. The last guy, who was the meanest looking of the group walks up to Swagmire, and speaks in a hushed tone.

”I know who you’re talking about, that

wrestler Mister Radio. You’ve got beef with him? Fine, I’ll help out. I’ve got beef with him. Have you been paying attention to his interviews for the nuclear standings rumble? That piece of special education failings is talking about all kinds of shit he clearly doesn’t understand. He thinks he’s so cool because he claims to be from the future, but he’s just a mixture of failed Tri Bute rip offs and Nova knock offs.

I mean, seriously. What’s his deal? He wants to be Nova so bad that he dates Nova’s boyfriend’s sister, hoping to fuck Minx where Nova fucked Zak just so he can rub Nova’s ball sweat on his ass and hope some of Nova’s juice merges with his own brand of failings. Then when Nova and Zak are done he has to act all suave and dump Micah before picking up one of Nova’s actual exes. Next he’s going to be busted as being the one to have stolen your brother’s body so he can fuck it hoping Nova’s ass juice is still on Frodo’s cock. God rest his soul, by the way. This Radio douche just pisses me off.

He’s clearly not mentally all there, I mean why else would he continue to claim Morbid is afraid of him? There’s been word around the net that Angel has been challenging Radio for like a month, but Radio is pulling his usual shit and running away, because he ain’t no man. Missus Radio is clearly not worth the effort you’re putting into his bitch ass, but whatever. It’s your show mang. If you want I can maybe take him out early? Name’s Aldous, by the way. Aldous Baratheon.”

Aldous extended his hand out to shake Swagmire’s. Swagzilla reached out, and accepted the hand shake.

”Call me Carlton, or Charles. And you’re right, Radio is all of that and more. When NeoNero and I were arguing Morbid did in fact accept a match with Radio, but Radio will only face someone if he’s pushed into it or there’s a title on the line. That

’s not worth a title, he’d just lose it in a day anyway. That’s what his

ass does, he trips over his own shoes. Titan called it claiming that Radio has the Velcro shoes, except one small thing. Velcro’s too complicated for Michael. Fun fact, he’s too stupid to take his shoes off.

Dude is so

he wears the same outfit every day because he can’t figure out shirts. I wish that was a joke, but I promise it’s not. He stares at cans of Coke trying to figure out how to open them. Minx still has to do that for him, without her he would have starved to death a long time ago. Apparently in the future you just kind of suck Nova’s cock until your food is pumped into your stomach, and by food I mean Nova’s piping hot man jizz. Because that’s what Radio tries to drink. Nigga claims to be straight, but he’s so far up Nova’s gay ass that he actually imagined another version of him who looked like Nova, and went by the name Hypernova. How fucking desperate can you be? Now he says he got his full soul back, and is even better than before? Snow flake, you can only polish shit so far before you realize it’s still shit and you should get rid of it. That’s your career, a semi-polished turd.

Isn’t it peculiar that the Nova Knock Off King manages to ‘Get his soul’ and thus fix himself right about the same time Nova cures his condition, gets his arm back, and continues to dominate the world? I think not. Michael AM did those poorly acted out plays of his so that we’d all think he was cool like SuperNova. News flash, you’re not and you never will be. Stop trying to be the great big outer space queer, you’re just not good at it. And by the way,

. DuJour means you’re gonna lose. DuJour does not mean awesome. See, I can drop references to shitty movies and tv shows as well. Go play with your Lincoln logs, little boy.”

”Hey man, wanna get a bite to eat? Maybe catch that new Robocop? In a totally Bro-some way, of course.”

”Nigga, let’s do this shit. Whatchu wanna eat?”

The pair walked off out of the warehouse they were filming in leaving the crew to scratch their heads in confusion.

”Just film me. I’ve got some things to say.”

The voice came from the shadows, as the man behind it slowly walked into view.

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