I left off at on a very… corny way of speaking. Happily ever after? Come on Ezekiel, Scott Charlotte could’ve done a better job than that. Speaking of which, where have you been Scotty my boy? You’ve been quite the quiet type as of late. It seems like ever since got chopped up you’ve been in the boat without a paddle. You’re hole “Down With ” campaign is the only thing that kept you relevant and now that ’s pushing up daisies, you have nothing to live for.

Ezekiel coughs and spits into a bucket that is halfway across the room. Man this guy is so fucking cool. I wish I was half as cool as this guy. He’s so cool that I’d let him fuck my wife, give her AIDS, just so I can fuck her and she give me AIDS. That way I can say that I and Ezekiel Carter-Williams the Fifth are connected. That is my one true dream.

Scott Charlotte, you actually have a match over me. I can’t be-fucking-lieve you, YOU, have a match over me. Is this fucking real? Am I being Punkd right now? Oh no, I know what was going on. The AIDS was really bugging me during that match and well, the rest is history.

Man this fucking AIDS is the cause of me losing matches now. This can’t be fucking life. It can’t be. How am I supposed to beat Christine Nash and Scott Charlotte if my AIDS can start acting up at any minute?

Oh that’s right, the same way I do everything else.

Now I can see if I was facing Theo Pryce, that brilliant motherfucker would probably have my number if the AIDS were acting up, but it’s not Theo, its Scott Charlotte and Christine Nash. Fuck, even if the AIDS were going full extent, I would still be able to beat them on their best day.

Because I’m always one step ahead of them. When you’re washing clothes, bitch I’m drying clothes. When you’re eating dinner, motherfucker I’m washing my plate. When you’re masturbating, God dammit I’m wiping up the place where I came at.

Okay, maybe that last one was kind of weird, but you get the jest.

Now Christine, sweet sweet Christine. You’re right, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you’ve been thru. I don’t know the pain you’ve live thru. But I do know what I’m going to do you. I do know what I’m going to put you thru. But I actually don’t know the pain you’re going because I won’t feel anything except victory.

I’m not obsessed with the opinion that John is “better” than me in the ring, because I know he isn’t. You see this isn’t a treat, this isn’t a game, this isn’t a play, this is real life. When I step in that ring with a deranged psychopathic bitch like you, it will be as if nothing has happened.

I’ve faced the psychopathic, I’ve faced the deranged. Shit, I looked Alexandra Callaway in the face while she was pregnant and asked her what the mouth do. What’s worse than that? Not a damn thing, that’s what.

And yes Christine, that’s exactly what I want. I want your pressure boy toy in the ring, face to face, man to man. I want to embarrass him, I want to humiliate him, I want to send him back to you with his head hung knowing that not only did he just get his ass handed to him by a guy with AIDS, but now he has to look you in the eye and fear for his rectum, because the anal pounding you’re going to give him is coming.

I know you’ve been looked down upon. I know you’ve been walked over, stepped on, spat on. So when the same thing happens to you, don’t think anything of it. After all, it’s not like it’s the first time, or the last.

Ezekiel reaches over to grab his Pepsi. He takes a swallow of it and throws it across the room.

Finally, I’ve got to the point I’ve been waiting for. Now when I was watching your promo, I was thinking to myself “Okay... this chick is kinda weird. And not that Frodo Smackins weird either,” but when she started singing Royals, man oh man that shit had me dying. You’re not fucking Lorde; you’re not fucking Queen B. You don’t have a fucking Grammy, so shut the fuck up. Damn, I could see if you actually sounded good, but it was worse than trying to understand Jessica Diaz. Or Kea. Or Jessie. Or whoever the fuck she wants to be today.

But then folks, it got really weird. The bitch voice got all deep and manly, I didn’t know what the hell was going on.

And then she started talking again.

Why the hell did she do that?

Okay CN, you’ve got it all wrong now. I know I can beat the “Twisted Angle.” I actually got this disease from having sex without a condom, not my snorting meth. How the fuck do you get AIDS from snorting meth? Bitch, are you fucking stupid?

Don’t answer that question.

How much have I paided for meth? Yeah, because that makes perfect fucking sense. I think the Lorde has gotten to your head because you are just out of it today. And actually I haven’t paid anything for a hooker and/or tramp. When bitches see me they immediately hop on the AIDS infested dick, and not even think about the consequences, just ask Joy Giovanni. She’s been calling my phone nonstop.

Baby, you won’t rule. Maybe you’ll rule over Scott and John, but not over Ezekiel Carter-Williams the Fifth. No no no, not in my house. And I just wanted to point out that I’m not looking at mastery, the Queen of the Twisted, the Queen of Insanity, or the Queen of the Dark and Complex. Actually I’m looking at a camera. Do I want to tangle, do I want to play? Damn Micah, are all of your friends this horny? This chick is a freak!

I am ready Christine. I am ready to walk into Madness, look you in the face and watch as you beg and plead for me to take it easy on you. I am ready to face the unknown; I am ready to face the Untwisted Insanity. I am more than ready. I’m like Peter Gilmour in a candy factory. I won’t be having enough fun tossing your ass around the ring like a rag doll. You and Scott Charlotte have a world of fucking pain coming your way.

In the form of Ezekiel Carter-Williams the Fifth, because baby… I’ll rule.

Ezekiel gets up and walks to the camera as it fades to black.