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~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (02-09-2014)

Frodo looked over and saw his lover just lying in bed. He knew with this new body it’d be tough to have sex, this new body made him distant
and awkward. He didn’t care, though. He still loved Zak, and nothing could change that, not even Gwen. Not even those Jack in the Box tacos you get at 2 for $1. Those shits are awesome, but not as awesome as Zak. The tiny brawler just wished he knew how he could make Zak seem less cold. Our Pintsize hero got
up and jumped in the shower. He was going out and gonna get trashed. Not on drugs, he didn’t do those anymore, this time he’d go and get drunk.

After his shower he hopped in his sweet as ride and drove to the nearest bar. It was a trendy spot with the local hipsters hung out, hopefully he could drink in peace. He walked in, sat down at the bar, and not some booth. The booths at
bars are lame and only for dirty old homeless men or couples thinking a bar is a good place for a date. He ordered a shot of Vodka with a Flaming Dr. Pepper back. Since the Flaming Dr. Pepper is illegal in CA he got a plain old Alcoholic
Dr. Pepper. Not as fun, let me tell you.

The bartender turns around to give him his drink, and instantly recognizes him. This was pretty cool, except he was trying to be low key.

”Hey, I know you. You’re that Fordo Swaggins guy. You wrestle for the WXF. My daughter loves that shit. I never got into it, but I closed this place down for two days to take her to the show in England where the bald dude and the Cyclops lost their heads. That was some impressive fake blood.”

Frodo took his shot and chugged his Dr. Pepper like drink, he hated to be recognized.

”Wasn’t fake, man. And this isn’t some vain attempt at
hiding how fake some wrestling is. Shane

seriously died in England. I took his head with me to get it taxidermied so I could keep it for personal reasons and John Madison stole it. Names Fred, by the way. Not Fordo Swaggins, and my ring name is…”

”Frodo Smackins, King of the Dwarves, and Lord of the Lumberjacks. Though, I like to call you Sultan of the Short People as well. My name is Yasmine, and that’s my dad Amir. He doesn’t quite get wrestling, but I think it’s pretty cool. Especially your match against Nova. That was such a good fight, I thought you’d win there for a while.”

Man, this girl was fangirling hard on Frodo. He wasn’t sure how to take it. She was kind of cute, and he was sort of with Zak. Wait, did she even wanna fuck? She might have just been fan who wasn’t interested in him sexually.

”Yeah, well that’s the thing with matches like that. You never know who’s gonna win. Nova’s a good guy, though. If you ignore the fact that he lost his manhood. Nah, most of the roster is pretty cool. Who’s your favorite wrestler?”

Another shot and Dr. P appeared in front of Frodo.

”Well, you are silly.”

She said this last bit with a wink, damn. She really was dtf the Midge. Damn, she even turned to walk behind the counter. He had to look, he couldn’t help it. The way her ass looked in the jeans she was wearing. Fuck, Frodo stop it. You’re with Zak, and you don’t even know how old she is. What if she’s 17?

”Well, besides me? Who do you really like? Come on, I can tell you about most of the roster.”

He chugged his vodka and chaser at the same time. He was feeling slightly guilty, but not too much because after all he was just looking.

”Well, I was a big fan of Theo Pryce for a while, he seemed so cute and so powerful. But I stopped thinking he was cute when I turned 25. After that I realized he was just a money hungry ass. Barney Green was pretty funny for a while. Too bad he died. I guess really only you and Diaz. Tri Bute’s pretty funny, but I don’t much care for the future man act.”

Oh, good. She was at least 25. He wasn’t creeping on a kiddie. Now he didn’t feel so bad.

”25, huh? Guess you are old enough to be in here. I like Theo, he’s a pretty cool guy, actually. Barney was a friend of mine, and it’s a shame that happened, but c’est la vie. As for Diaz, she seems pretty bitchy and stuff at first. Then you find out she is entirely bitchy, but she does like good books. Bute, he really is from the future as best as I can tell. Speaking of telling, who’s the one person on the roster you hate more than anyone else?”

Smooth maneuver, Hoover.

”I’m 26, silly. And I really can’t stand Titan. He seems so boring. I mean, he was mildly funny when he was just knitting sweaters and playing with corpses. Now, look at him. Bragging to you about getting the UFO Ark of the Covenant or whatever Eli named it. You won that thing twice,
and once you beat Mr. XWF. That’s a tough fighter. Plus, he keeps talking about you being insignificant. You won that title twice before you had two booked matches. Plus, you single handedly broke Ezekiel Carter Williams’ winning streak, and buried Levi Storm in Barney Green’s shit. And you’re the first one
ever to come up with an Extreme Hell in a Cell match.”

She began to pour herself and Frodo each a shot of Vodka. Dammit, Yasmine. You’re tempting a hobbit.

”Yeah, Titan is pretty boring, and so hung up on being a tough guy. I don’t personally know him too well, but I bet he likes to put on Ryan Gosling movies and cry. I really feel bad for him. He thinks he has a chance against me, but it’s not going to go his way, maybe I should just bring a mattress into the ring, put some my little pony sheets on it, throw down some pillows and stuffed animals, and tuck him in. He might need a movie so he can sleep, I’ll have to grab a new copy of Little Mermaid for him. That’ll be less embarrassing than the ass kicking I’m going to give him.”

Frodo picked up his shot, Yasmine picked up hers. As Fred
was about to drink his Vodka she hooked her arm through his and chugged hers.

”My little pony? Little Mermaid? Crying at Ryan Gosling movies? Man, I haven’t done those since I stopped wearing underwear.”

What the actual fuck did she say? She really wanted to get on Frodo’s dick.

”So, you wanna fuck me in the back or not?”

Woah, Frodo did she offer you what I think we heard?

”What? I don’t think I heard you right.”

She leaned in close, and kissed Frodo before pulling
back.

”I asked if you want to go into the back and fuck me.
Come on, I want this, and I’m not just some silly girl. I know about Zak, I just don’t care.”

Fuck.

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