Being a wad of cum, my locomotion is somewhat limited. My favourite flight? The time Barney introduced me to his hemorrhoids. That’s right, Barney actually managed to insert his member, bring himself off, and in the ensuing splurge, I met a gent by the name of Barney’s hemorrhoids.

He was feeling a bit raw, you see, because Barn had accidentally ingested dip, and his intestines played havoc that night. Still, like a champ Barn rammed me in there, and my milky goodness soothed that hemorrhoid like I was bepanthen on nappy rash.

Anyway, while I was soothing poor H, he told me all about this time he met Synyster Shadows, or Dark Gates, I don't remember which. Apparently he also provided some soothing action. So imagine my surprise to find that the XWF has asked me to compete – against such a paragon of virtue! Verily, I shall not fight this man. Rather, I will caress his face.