To be a fly on the wall during a debate among some hardcore wrestling fans.

Meet Carl, Jesse, and Jimmy -- three of the most seasoned wrestling fans you could hope to find. These guys have been watching wrestling since they were old enough to turn on a television. None of them have ever been directly involved in the business but there's no denying the fact that they probably know more of the ins and outs of this industry than some of the actual competitors that have come through the doors of the top wrestling companies.

Not only have they been following the X-treme Wrestling Federation for many years now, they've also followed other companies that we won't list here because we wouldn't want them getting free advertisement on such a widely viewed network.

Jesse: "I'm telling you guys it can't be this obvious; he's playing a trick on us. We're supposed to believe he's Sid Feder so whatever plan he's got in the works for Saturday hits us all even harder and shocks the world. I've been a big fan of Sid's ever since he debuted in XWF last year -- this isn't the Sid that I remember. It's not, guys."

Jesse finishes sprinkling red pepper on his large slice of pizza as he sits across the table from Jimmy and Carl who both prefer their slices with Parmesan cheese. (that partner of Duke's would be proud, eh?) Jesse takes a bite of his slice as Jimmy can't help but disagree-

Jimmy: "Nah man this is exactly what you're supposed to be thinking. You're falling right into the mental trap he's setting. He's going out of his way to make it so it would seem too obvious, so that you start having doubts, only to be surprised when he rips that mask off and it's Sid Feder in the flesh!"

Jesse rolls his eyes and takes another bite as Carl chimes in with yet another theory. Carl is the oldest of the three and usually comes up with the ideas that the other two would never think of.

Carl: "I think you're both wrong -- I think what we're seeing is a case of teamwork and I'm not talking about Mister Mystery and Peter. I think there's more than one person behind Mistery Mystery. I'm thinking it's Sid Feder himself but he's got an accomplice to help him pull off what he's been doing this week along with whatever he's got planned for Saturday. I mean picture it now -- Sebastian Duke and Mr. XWF unload like crazy and manage to take down Peter Gilmour and Mister Mystery-"

He takes a bite of his pizza and begins chewing it while he continues. It's not like his friends have any table manners either so who cares if they talk with their mouths full, right?

Carl: "-and then from there all the lights go out, right? Then a few second later they come back on and there's another Mister Mystery standing in the ring with some crazyass fucking weapon in his hands, and he just lays into Sebastian and Mr. XWF like there's no tomorrow. The match is X-treme Rules, right? So pretty much anything goes and the ref can't do shit! The second Mister Mystery will unleash a beat down on both unsuspecting victims so furiously that they'll not only be left losing the match but they'll probably be taken out of upcoming matches for the next few weeks. I'm telling you guys I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my years and this wreaks of a multi-person setup. No question about it."

Carl takes a sip of his Pepsi as Jimmy and Jesse both tend to disagree; the whole thing is much too far fetched for them to believe.

Jesse: "Well technically if that's what happens then Jimmy and I are both right but I still doubt it man. I think it's somebody we're not going to see coming and when all is said and done we'll be left saying 'holy shit dude!' because one thing we can all agree on is that there are some serious mind games being played here this week. I think Sid might be involved somehow, like maybe he hired whoever it is to do what he's doing under the Mister Mystery disguise but I actually don't think Sid is ready to return to action this soon. The Black Circle laid a pretty vicious beating on Sid and tried cutting his head off, and let's not forget what John Madison did to Sid's wife. I think even if Sid was fully recovered, Flo surely is not, and we all know how much Flo openly protested Sid even being in a wrestling company. Do you really think she'd let him come back after both of them were nearly killed again? This is the second time that something like this has happened to both of them."

Jimmy: "That's true but if the first time, which happened over five years ago, didn't stop Sid from making a return to wrestling and joining the XWF then what would keep him back this time? I think if there's still blood pumping through his veins, he's going to want to personally burst back onto the scene and take care of business like only Three Times Better Sid Feder can do. I think he waited till Flo was mostly recovered and I bet he made a promise to finally avenge all of the shit they've both been put through. Sid knows how to keep people on their toes and he's a second generation wrestler so this shit is in his blood, guys. He's throwing us all for a loop here and turning us all into marks no matter what we believe."

Jimmy takes a drink of his Dr. Pepper and Carl gazes out the window into the parking lot as the waitress walks up to them.

Waitress: "Hey guys is everything alright? Can I get you anything else?"

Carl keeps looking out the window and thinking as Jesse and Jimmy both happily give all their attention to the lovely young lady. They ask her for a couple of refills on their beverages and both watch intently as she walks away; her perfectly round ass in those snug fitting black stretch pants completely taking their minds off of whatever they were just talking about. What were they talking about again?

Carl: "I've got it!"

Carl quickly snaps both of his younger friends back to reality as they turn to him.

Carl: "Let's pay a visit to my uncle Bill -- he's a wrestling fanatic and he once told me he met Sid Feder's father back when he was a major star in the business. I'll bet he can share some insight on this. We can chill there and get high with him and not have to worry about my roommate complaining about the smell like we would if we went back to my place."

Jimmy: "Yeah that's right man you're roommate sucks ass."

Jesse: "He's the worst. Somebody needs to stick a joint in his mouth and force him to smoke the whole damn thing to mellow him out."

Carl: "Yeeeah well what do you expect guys; I found the dude on Craigslist after all. When this lease is up I'm out of there and going to find a better place anyway. I'm never living with anybody straight edge again in my life."

The boys finish their slices of pizza, gulp down the rest of their beverages like they were Linn gulping down loads, and they head out to their destination. The best part about a visit to "Uncle Bill" is that he usually supplies all the marijuana and occasionally has other drugs on hand too. Looks like this is going to be a fun night for these three as they "crack the case" of Mistery Mystery 17 31707 1.

---

Jesse: "You think he's home dude?"

The three of them walk up to Carl's uncle's house and notice that all the lights are turned off. Carl opens the screen door and knocks heavily on the inside door.

Carl: "Yeah he's here; where the fuck else has he got to go? The dude's a druggie who lives off of disability and has no friends."

All three of them begin to laugh when suddenly there is some rustling in the bushes off to the right, startling them and causing them to jump back.

Jimmy: "Whoa! What the fuck is that?"

Carl: "Who goes there!"

They ready themselves for anything as none other than Uncle Bill comes rolling out of a bush, covered in shrubbery and garbage, smelling like booze and piss. He starts to get up but falls back on his ass and then just sits there, blinking, staring that the three.

Uncle Bill: "Are you guys here to arrest me?"

The three look at each other and Carl just laughs, reaching his hand forward to help his uncle to his feet.

Carl: "It's me; Carl. Come on man get up. You smell like you just pissed yourself."

Uncle Bill: "Carl! Hey buddy! I pissed myself!"

Carl helps Bill up and holds his shoulders to stop him from tumbling forward. This man has clearly been in those bushes for many hours and his pants are soaked in his own urine.

Jesse: "Dude! You're at your house! Why the fuck were you sleeping in the bush pissing on yourself, man?"

Bill looks at Jesse and smiles; exposing not one, not two, but a full mouthful of missing teeth.

Uncle Bill: "You guys wanna smoke some acid with me and drop heroin? Help me get inside the house."

Jesse: "Haha what the fuck dude? What?"

Jimmy: "Nah man we're cool on that but you got any bud?"

Uncle Bill smiles again as some drool escapes his gaping mouth.

Carl: "Oooooh I know that smile -- he's got bud! Let's help him in the house, guys."

Uncle Bill: "Yeah I locked myself out the house and forgot my keys inside the sink. It ain't gonna be easy getting inside."

They approach the front door and Carl tries the door knob, easily turning it and pushing the door right open with no problem at all.

Uncle Bill: "You did it! You have an extra set of my keys!"

Carl: "Uh, yeah man I had my spare on hand. Good thing too, huh?"

Jesse and Jimmy just whisper to each other, trying to hold back the laughter about what they're witnessing.

Uncle Bill: "Let's go inside and get trashed!"

Bill shoves them out of his way and quickly storms into the house, leaving the three to exchange quite a "what the fuck" look before they follow into the house.

Jesse: "Man, are you sure this guy's an expert on wrestling?"

Jimmy: "Does it matter? I'm looking to get fucked up tonight bro."

Jesse: "Eh, touche my friend; touche."

Once they get inside the living room they notice Uncle Bill has already packed the hookah and the bong, and already is finishing rolling a fourth joint.

Carl: "Hot damn you work fast Uncle Bill!"

---

-An hour later-

---

Everyone is leaning back in their seats and looking incredibly fucked up with insanely bloodshot eyes. Jesse takes a drink of the can of generic pop he got out of Bill's fridge and then remembers that they were going to ask Bill about wrestling.

Jesse: "Hey Bill -- have you been keeping up with the recent shit on XWF? That whole thing with Peter Gilmour and Sebastian Duke?"

Jimmy: "Yeah that's right man Carl here was telling us you're the resident expert on this shit. We wanted to toss some ideas around with you and get the inside scoop so we can place bets with our friends on what's going to go down Saturday night and really cash out bigtime."

Bill takes a drink of some kind of homemade drink that he scooped a cup of from his bathtub earlier and he lets out a hiccup, then a belch, then farts loudly.

Uncle Bill: "Do I look like I'd be the kind of guy to be an expert on porn?"

Carl: "Whoa man no, not porn. They're asking you about wrestling. XWF to be precise."

Uncle Bill: "Oh shit yeah I watch that all the time. Have you guys been keeping up with that whole mystery partner angle they have going on?"

The guys just look at each other for a second in amazement.

Jimmy: "Well, yeah? We were just asking if you were keeping up with that."

Jesse: "More importantly we were wondering who you think is the man behind the mask; who is Mister Mystery?"

Carl: "I've been telling them both that it's got to be Sid Feder working in tandem with another person; some kind of accomplice who he-"

Uncle Bill: "Donathan Alphonse Francois De Sade."

...

The three all stop and look at each other in shock. Where did that come from?