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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! Results
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Shove It: In Deep Shit
Author Message
John Msdison 2.Faggot
Guest



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#1
02-02-2014, 12:26 AM

[Image: shvt_zpsdac57028.png]

The pyrotechnics in the arena pop off as diarrhea special effects splatter across the TV screens at home, welcoming us to this shitty edition of Shove It. So shitty in fact, that we went through the trouble of having liquid feces douse the fans through a sprinkler system. Some of the audience members use their programs to shelter themselves from the fecal shower, while others try catching it in their mouths.

We now go to our shitty announce team consisting of John Madison and Nathaniel Adolf Zachary Idenhaus. What's crappenin' fellas?


John Madison: "Holy shit, welcome to another edition of my Shove It, Shithead edition."

NAZI: "Don't you mean 'Into Deep Shit,' edition John?"

John Madison: "It's my show, Hitler. I can call it whatever I want!"

NAZI: "Of course it is. Just look at the set up of the card, it has John Madison written all over it."

John Madison: "That better be a compliment to my creative talent, Nathan. You know how long it took me to organize that card? A lot of thought went into each of those matches!"

NAZI: "Like the one where an AIDS virus teams up with Barney's semen?"

John Madison: "Last time I checked, they were OPPONENTS, Nathaniel."

NAZI: "Or the one where someone gets buried in 5000 pounds of Barney Green's shit?"

John Madison: "My favorite."

NAZI: "And of course, those two traitors versus the thrown together team of Steve Davids and Tony Santos."

John Madison: "Yeah, those shitheads are gonna have to compete under TV Title rules. We'll see how Nova does with the tables turned!"

NAZI: "How about that other main event, Gilmour versus Barney with managers?"

John Madison: "Oh shit that reminds me!"

John reaches under the table and pulls out...


CHAW!


John Madison: "This show is packed with so much of Barney's shit that we might as well pack a lip to top it all off. Come on, pack a lip with me, NAZI. Don't you in Germany smoke every 2 minutes anyway?"

NAZI: "No, John. And no, I will not be having any chewing tobacco tonight."

John Madison: "You mean chaw?"

NAZI: "Yeah..."

John Madison: "Fuck it, more for me then."

John grabs a handful of chewing tobacco out of the pouch and packs it into his lip. He must have emptied half the bag with that pinch.

NAZI: "John, I wouldn't..."

After a couple of more seconds of silence, John looks like he's about to explode. John tries to hold it in, but he can't any longer. He pukes all over the table and into NAZI's lap.

NAZI: "Damn it! Fuck, let's just go to the first match... Damn it, John..."


Guppy Parsh
- vs -
Solange
Standard Singles Match


The bell rings and these two superstars approach each other in the center of the ring! Guppy fires off first with a roundhouse kick but gets nothing but air as Solange backs out of the way. Solange launches a counter attack, taking Guppy down to the mat with a headlock take down. Guppy kicks out of the headlock, and returns to his feet. Solange and Guppy come face to face and Guppy takes Solange over with a hip toss. Solange gets right back up but runs into a second hip toss from Guppy. Solange is quick at getting to her feet again. Guppy attempts a third hip toss, but Solange blocks the attempt and delivers a side kick to the sternum of Guppy. Solange goes for a DDT, but Guppy grabs her by the wrist and reverses it into an armbar. Solange is positioned in the center of the ring now and Guppy leans all of his weight into the back of her shoulder.

It doesn't take long for Solange to catch a rope break. She's still fresh in this match. Guppy gets mad and starts stomping away at Solange, uncontrollably. Solange still has a grip on the bottom rope but Guppy won't back away. After a set of eight or so stomps, the referee is finally able to restrain Guppy. He gives Guppy a verbal warning, telling him that he needs to obey the rules of the squared circle.

Guppy waits for Solange to recover and goes after him with a punch, but Solange ducks and Guppy finds himself in the corner. Solange throws some kicks to the mid section, backs up, and gives Guppy a running corner splash! Solange tries for a tornado DDT in that same corner, but Guppy throws him away. Guppy then crashes through Solange with a spear!

Guppy takes Solange and sets him up for a move that is similar to another superstar on the roster....

Guppy picks up Solange and hits him with a package piledriver! He calls that the STRIKEDEATH

Did he really just steal Peter Gilmour's finishing move?!

Steve Sayors quickly surveys the fans, and they all agree that the Strikedeath is better than the Deathstrike! WOW!!!

Guppy Parsh pins Solange with one foot.

1

2



3!


Winner by pinfall: Guppy Parsh



We go backstage now, where Steve Sayors is with the owner of the XWF, Eli James IV.

Steve Sayors: "I'm here with the owner of the XWF, Eli James IV! Eli, as the owner of the XWF, what are your thoughts on tonight's show? Tonight we have matches planned where a man has to be buried in Barney's feces, a match involving Barney's Ejaculate and Ezekeial's AIDS, and a match where a used tampon and a whale penis are considered to be weapons."

"Do you condone this type of content to be shown on XWF TV? What would our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, think if he saw this type of stuff being passed off as 'entertainment?'"


Eli James IV: "Jesus is an interesting character you've chosen to associate me with. I suppose that's really not the focus of what you're askin' is it? Sometimes... the people will get what they wanted all along.. darkness.. things of filth and that should never have to be seen. Sometimes, we need to present mercy.. grace.. and to shelter the young and present the light instead of darkness. Tonight, you can expect anything."

Back to ringside!


Simon Lee Nash
- vs -
Tommy Wish
Tommy's Rules
Loser is whoever leaves through the audience


The bell rings and Tommy Wish unloads on Simon with a Lou Thesz Press. After a set of mounted punches, Wish gives Simon a suplex. Wish runs off the ropes and lands on Simon with a senton splash. Tommy picks up Simon and gives him not just a single powerbomb, but a DOUBLE powerbomb! What a beast!

Wish grabs a kendo stick and bashes Simon across the forehead with it. Simon falls on his ass and begins to run away on all fours from Wish. Wish chases after Simon with the kendo stick, hitting him in the thighs and ass. Eventually they make it to the outside area. Wish gives Simon a final kendo stick shot to the head that causes Simon to fall over the barricade and into the laps of the first row audience members. Wish threatens Simon with the kendo stick, but Simon runs away! And with that, Tommy Wish is the winner!


Winner by forfeit: Tommy Wish



We go backstage now, where Steve Sayors is with John Austin, Ezekiel's AIDS, and D Shadows.

Steve Sayors: "I'm here now with John Austin who is all set to go 3 on 3 with Ezekiel's AIDS and D Shadows against Asylum, Barney's Ejaculate, and Ezekiel Carter Williams V."

"My first question is for you, Austin. A lot of people are looking at you as being the leader of this trio. Are you guys on the same page tonight or is there some tension here? What can we expect from this crazy trio?"


John Austin : "Tension Steve, HA! ...I got one up of the hottest up in comers here in D. Shadows and I got a man that haunts big Zeke every day of his life. All of us are definitely on the same page. What can you expect, well, just expect the unexpected from us, haha."

Steve Sayors: "That brings me to you, D. D Shadows, do you feel as though it might have been Ezekiel's AIDS that brought you and Austin together? If so, shouldn't you be thanking your opponent, Ezekiel Carter, for sending his illness your guys' way?"

D Shadows: "Dude, that just mind fucked me. Hmm, I don't know, but I'm glad to be working with Austin here and Ezekiel's AIDS, I mean, he wants to get back with His host, you can't blame the AIDS for that, but Minxs might fuck that up for them. I wonder if I can rope her into a gangbang. Well, I'm going to go back to smoking my blunt. Yo Austin, you down for a smoke out after the match? "

Steve Sayors: "That brings me to you, Ezekiel's AIDS. The big question on everyone's mind right now is, are you really the AIDS of Ezekiel Carter Williams V, or is this all a ploy? Come on, shoot straight with us, GET REAL!"

Ezekiel's AIDS: "I am a virus cell that was pulled out of the blood of Mr. Carter-Williams. I float in between his body and the outside world. As such, this is not a fair fight at all. I can kill Zeke anytime I choose."

Steve Sayors: "Well, there you have it folks. We'll see how well these guys do tonight."

Back to ringside!


John Austin
Ezekiel's AIDS
D Shadows
- vs -
Ezekiel Carter Williams V
Barney's Ejaculate
Asylum
One fall
Standard six man tag


The bell rings with the former US Champion John Austin in the ring squaring up with the newcomer: Asylum. John Austin looks ready and prepared, but Asylum appears like he's lost in the corner, just standing there. The crowd, however, have a seemingly different agenda, going back and forth with the chants 'Let's go AI-IDS!!' and 'Barney's Cum!!'.

'Let's go AI-IDS!!'
'Barney's Cum!!'
'Let's go AI-IDS!!'
'Barney's Cum!!'
'Let's go AI-IDS!!'
'Barney's--'

Austin decides he's had enough, and tries firing a shot at the towering Asylum, who suddenly springs to life as he grabs Austin by the throat with both hands, lifts him up, and delivers a Breakdown. Asylum just stands there, looming over the downed Austin.

Impatient, Zeke just tags himself in by slapping Asylum on the back. Like a good boy, Asylum goes over the ropes and onto the apron, as Zeke takes to the skies by jumping off the turnbuckle and landing an elbow drop on the downed John. He waits no time before going for an early cover:

1..

Shadows is already there with an elbow to the back of Zeke. Before Shadows can return to his corner, however, Zeke stands and approaches him, proceeding to attacking him by pushing him into the corner and smashing repeated blows to the mid-section, over and over again, before topping it off with a deadly lariat. Shadows drops and rolls out of the ring and onto his feet to recover.

With the intruder dealt with, Zeke turns around, only to be met with a spinning elbow from Austin, downing his opponent. John cranes his neck to one side, after that Breakdown from Asylum. Rebounding off of the ropes, he drops his knee onto Ezekiel. Standing him up, he continues his attack by delivering a standing vertical suplex. He goes for a pin...

1..

2- Kick-out from Ezekiel, just after the ref's hand came down for two.

Not giving Zeke any edge whatsoever, Austin throws him into his own corner and tags in Shadows. There, they both start to kick into Zeke's chest, so much so that he collapses to the mat, with his back resting against the bottom turnbuckle.

It's at this point that the crowd get impatient again and begin to chant:

'We want AI-IDS' clap-clap-clapclap
'We want AI-IDS' clap-clap-clapclap

...The crowd may or may not know quite what they are announcing to the world at this point...

Paying no attention to this, however, Shadows grinds his boot into Zeke's jaw, before walking back a few steps, and connecting a dropkick to Zeke's chest, who begins to look more and more limp. Shadows picks Zeke up and smashes his head against the top turnbuckle. He throws him out to the middle of the ring, setting up his Shadow Knee...

But as Shadows runs up to Zeke, Ezekiel side-steps him! But Shadows doesn't realise this before it's too late! He crashes into the opposing turnbuckle - Asylum's turnbuckle! Asylum grabs Shadows by the hair and plants his face into the top turnbuckle! Shadows turns around, dazed...

And there's Zeke, with a football tackle to the knee! Shadows is down now, but it seems like John Austin isn't ready to let go of the momentum just yet, as he jumps into the ring and goes after Ezekiel, who sees this attempt, dodges it, waits until Austin bounces back off of the ropes, and pulls off a spinning lariat!

Zeke's finally rolling with it now--

Psst, hey. Hey, Ezekiel.

Zeke looks wildly around the ring. Is he hearing voices inside his head!?

Over here, stud.

He turns sharply, and sees the glass container which holds a sample of his AIDs... and is his legal opponent tonight.

Look out, man! They're gonna get you!!

Zeke laughs this off, since both of his opponent are down and - oh, I don't know - his own AIDs is trying to give him advice. Still though, Ezekiel begins to walk over to his corner, with the intent of tagging in Asylum...

When Austin grabs his legs so suddenly and with so much grip that Ezekiel falls flat on his face!!

I tried to warn you, dude!!

Because hindsight is a bitch, Zeke tries to scamper over to the corner on his hands and knees, instead of just getting up and jumping, giving plenty of time for John Austin to get up on his knees and grab Zeke's legs.

Since Austin is not the legal man, the ref begins counting him out. Aware of this, John tries to think quickly by pulling Zeke up to try and do a big move before returning to the apron...

But is met with a face-full of Barney's Ejaculate!!

The crowd go mental.

Zeke had picked up the tissue which housed his team-mate - Barney's Ejaculate, and smeared it all over Austin's face! Amidst utter disgust, John claws at his face in a desperate effort to try and scrape the cum off, but he's just getting it all over his hands as well, adding ever more to his complete freak-out.

Luckily though, Austin looks up just in time to be absolutely demolished by a spear from Asylum, who was tagged in by Zeke. Austin rolls out of the ring and lands on the concrete with a thud, having an absolute panic attack (which is pretty understandable, given the circumstances).

Picking up Shadows - who was just getting to his knees at this point - Asylum does not wait to begin his onslaught, picking up Shadows and quickly delivering a spine-shuddering powerbomb, after which Shadows cranes his back in pain. Zeke laughs from the sidelines.

Shadows cries of pain mean nothing, though, as he's again hoisted up and thrown out of the ring via Military Press. Asylum stands in the middle of the ring as the ref begins his count...

Not contempt with winning on a count-out, Zeke jumps off his apron and grabs Shadows, throwing him back into the ring to face Asylum's wrath. But when Asylum goes to default mode and throws Shadows out of the ring again, the ref does not begin to count.

There's confusion amongst the audience and the wrestlers... until the instant replay shows that Shadows' fingers grazed the glass container on the apron. In other words, the microscopic sexually transmitted disease that has been 'surgically' extracted from Ezekiel's nether-regions is now the legal... thing in the match. Shadows and Austin are now depending on Zeke's AIDs to secure them the victory!!

The crowd are too busy cheering to notice the utter-fucking-confusion on Zeke's face, and they begin to chant:

'Zee-kee's AIDs!'
'Zee-kee's AIDs!'
'Zee-kee's AIDs!'

Still on the outside of the ring, Ezekiel walks over to the vial as Asylum keeps careful watch of his yard. Zeke picks it up and carries it with him, staring between the glass - which is pointless because the AIDs would be too microscopic to see with your own eyes. ...But he does it anyway.

Shrugging, Ezekiel takes it upon himself to try and 'eliminate' his opposition, regardless of it calling out 'But I love you, Zeke!!'. He raises the glass vial in the air, and brings it down as fast as he can, aiming for the apron--

But Austin is there, and he catches Zeke's arm! Confused, Ezekiel can't help but stand there as John rips the vial from his hands. Zeke tries to retaliate with a punch to the face, but Austin dodges and kicks Zeke in the stomach, with enough force to bring him down to his knees. Austin looks at the vial and can't help but smirk.

Suddenly, he has a hold of Ezekiel's neck and, ripping his mouth open, he tips up the vial into Zeke's mouth! The AIDs (probably) goes flying down! It's returned home, and the crowd go ballistic! Taking a hand that's still covered in Barney's cum, Austin slaps Zeke hard in the face, so hard that Ezekiel just collapses on the floor.

It's then that Austin turns his attention towards the ring, with the looming Asylum still keeping watch inside. Austin tries to slip under the bottom ropes, but the ref is quick to remind him that he is not the legal man. Sighing irritably, Austin walks back over to Zeke, and kicks him in the stomach which, for the sake of getting the match going again, the ref counts as a tag-in. With this out of the way, Austin slides into the ring to face Asylum, leaving a trail of Barney's cum behind him.[

Austin throws down some forearms to the back of Asylum.

We pan over to Asylum's corner and it doesn't look good. Ezekiel looks very weak, so weak that he's forced to take a seat on the ring apron. Either he's really tired/hurt or he has in fact come in contact with the AIDS virus.

Austin locks a full nelson on Asylum, but Asylum slips out of it. Asylum then hits the ropes, but on the way over he slips on Barney's Ejaculate! Barney's Ejaculate with a huge save there. Asylum might have just blown his opportunity.

Austin jerks Asylum to his feet, applies a full nelson, and smashes the back of Asylum's head on his knee! The crowd explodes with satisfaction after Austin delivers the Final Round.

Austin covers Asylum.

1

2


3!



Winners by pinfall: John Austin, Ezekiel's AIDS, and D Shadows



Frodo Smackins
- vs -
Levi Storm
Buried Alive in Barney Green's Feces Match
We will connect a pipeline from Barney Green's toilet to the arena that will spill out at ringside! The objective is to toss your opponent into a six foot grave and to then fill that grave with Barney Green's feces.


The camera gives us a shot of the six foot grave that's set up next to the entrance stage. There's a backhoe parked next to the grave with a mound of Barney Green's feces in the bucket. The winner will be whoever can throw their opponent into the grave and pull the lever in the backhoe.

The referee explains these rules to the two competitors in the center of the ring, and the bell rings!

Frodo and Levi get ready to attack each other, but they're cut off by the theme music of Eli James IV. Eli, who's the owner of the XWF, walks out on stage with a microphone.


Eli James IV: "Now hold on just a minute, ref. There has been a slight change to tonight's match. I know that everyone here was expecting Buried Alive in Feces, but that's not going to happen tonight. You see, as the new owner of the XWF, I will not sit back and let John Madison poison your minds with his vulgarity. I don't care what day of the week it is, I will not allow this filth to do down! Therefor, tonight's match will be contested under standard rules. Thank you."

The audience boos Eli's decision, even Frodo and Levi look disappointed.

Nevertheless, the show must continue.

Levi attacks Frodo from behind with a LOW BLOW!

Luckily the referee wasn't paying attention and Levi got away with it.

Levi takes down Frodo with a snapmare and throws some kicks into his spine. Levi sends Frodo running into the ropes and knocks him down with a drop kick. Frodo gets right back up and Levi knocks him down with another drop kick. Levi takes Frodo and takes him to the mat with a suplex.

The fans chant "WE WANT FECES!" while this is all going on.

Levi tries a DDT, but Frodo backs Levi into the corner. Frodo nails Levi with an uppercut and is able to put some space between him and Levi. Frodo and Levi lock up, and Frodo applies an arm wrench. Frodo smacks the back of Levi's shoulder with his elbow. Frodo hits Levi with a gut punch, smacks him in the face, and gives him a DDT. Frodo pins Levi..

1

2


Kick out!

Frodo applies a chin lock to keep Levi to the mat. Once Frodo has Levi softened up, he pulls him up to his feet and puts him in the corner with an Irish whip. Frodo runs at Levi, but Levi kicks his feet up and hits Frodo in the teeth.

Levi props himself on the second rope and rocks Frodo with a flying clothesline.

Levi pins Frodo.

1

2



Kick out!

Levi picks up Frodo and goes for a German suplex, but Frodo lands on his feet! Frodo then hits Levi with the Shayouken! (jumping uppercut). Frodo hooks the leg.

1

2




Kick out! Levi was just barely able to escape!

Frodo slaps the referee, telling him not to count so slow.

Frodo takes Levi by the neck and carries him to the top rope. He goes for the top rope chokeslam, but Levi reverses into a hurricanrana! Levi pins Frodo.

1

2


Kick out!

Levi loses it now, and he too slaps the referee! That poor ref.

Levi takes Frodo by the ankle and locks on the figure four in the middle of the ring. Frodo is in a bad spot, doing everything he can not to tap out. Eventually, Frodo turns over onto his stomach, effectively reversing the hold. Levi squirms out of it though.

Frodo and Levi trade punches in the center of the ring. Frodo catches Levi off guard with a gut punch, and throws him into the ropes. Levi bounces off the ropes, Frodo goes for a clothesline, but Levi ducks under, bounces off the ropes again, and throws Frodo across the ring with a headscissors.

Levi gives Frodo a piledriver and pins him.

1

2





Kick out.

Levi takes Frodo into the corner and gives him the Camera Flash (tornado DDT), and pins him.

1

2



Kick out!

Levi tries to put Frodo away with a sleeper, but Frodo breaks loose with a jaw breaker. Frodo then tries to knock Levi the rest of the way down by using a superkick, but his tiny legs only allow him to hit Levi in the chest! Nevertheless, the move is still effective and knocks Levi back into the ropes. Frodo goes for another uppercut, but Levi dodges it and takes down Frodo with a German suplex!

Levi recovers to his feet after some time on the mat, and climbs to the top rope. He jumps off, going for a flying clothesline, but Frodo pops up to his feet and counters with the Shayouken! Levi flew right into that lethal uppercut from the homosexual Halfling!

Frodo rolls up Levi, and kicks his tiny legs up on the middle rope for added leverage. The referee doesn't see the illegal move as Frodo pins Levi.

1

2




3!

The gay garden gnome wins!

Frodo celebrates by holding his tiny arms above his head. It looks like this match is in the books, but Frodo decides that he isn't done for the night.

We can still hear the fans chanting,

"We want feces!"

Frodo is gonna give these people what they want! Holy shit, he's dragging Levi Storm up the ramp towards tractor full of Barney's shit!

Eli James tries to stop Frodo, but Frodo pushes the chubby holy man down!

Frodo takes Levi to the edge of the open grave, and Shayouken!s him into it! Levi is flat on his back in the six foot grave now.

Frodo walks up to the backhoe that has its bucket filled with 2000 pounds of Barney Greens feces.

Without hesitating, Frodo pulls the lever, and the bucket drops the shit into the grave, burying Levi Storm! Holy shit!

Eli is shocked! He cannot believe that Frodo disobeyed him like this.

But wait! THEO PRYCE runs up behind Eli James IV, and pushes him onto the pile of shit! Eli lands face-first in the mound of Barney Green's feces! Theo laughs his ass off as he watches Eli kick his feet around.

But wait, from behind! NAZI! NAZI grabs Theo Pryce by the neck, and shoves him head-first into that same shit pile! Both Eli and Theo are rolling around in Barney Green's shit! The same shit that's piled on top of Levi Storm. By God, what a shit-tastic night. Shit for everyone!


Winner by pinfall and burial: Frodo Smackins



We go backstage now, where Steve Sayors is with Peter Gilmour and Unknown Soldier.

Steve Sayors: "I'm here with the very demonic duo of Peter F'N Gilmour and Unknown F'N Soldier! Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it boys? My first question is for you, Soldier. Soldier, as Peter's manager, can you give us some insight on just how hard Peter has trained this week? Take us through his regiment if you will. Is he sticking to his diet plan?"

Unknown Soldier: "Well Steve, the first thing Peter and I do when we get to the gym is find the hottest girl working out and stare at her for hours. Undressing her with my eyes. Eventually, Peter starts lifting weights while I very creepily stare up her asshole while she's doing squats and possibly smelling her like a stray dog. This generally upsets some guy(s) in the gym who can't mind his own business which leads to a fight. Peter then proceeds to Gilmour Cutter the degenerate(s) while I lick the blood off the floor when he's finished. By this time Peter gets embarrassed to be with me in public, which he does in just about any situation and leaves without me. As far as his diet goes I can't really say for sure. I know it doesn't consist of chewing tobacco and three large pizzas in one sitting like Barney Green. Otherwise known by his alias Pizza the Hut."

[Image: pizzahut.jpg]

Steve Sayors: "That brings me to you, Peter. Peter, this match is years in the making. This match will have weapons such as the crowbar that Madison shoved up your rear end, a half eaten tampon from John Black, Barney's spit jug, Mr. Supernova's arm, an Asmodeus cane, and a whale penis attached to a pole. My question for you is, how do you plan on using this unique assortment of weapons? Do you have any hands on experience with these objects, and do you think that will be an issue out there?"

Peter Gilmour: "Well Steve there are quite an array of weapons in this match. Two of them I know pretty well that being the Asmodeus Cane which I have used before while I was in the Brotherhood, and that sick crowbar which John Madison used on me and I'm still in pain from that. But Maddy will get his eventually. Trust me. Now these weapons are not of my doing. I know somebody put those weapons in this match and I'm thinking its that cocksucker John Madison. But I digress. Steve, I dont care if what Barney uses on me, I am going to murder his punk ass in the ring and there is nobody that will stop me. Not his mother, not his imaginary friend Foley, NOBODY! Nobody will stop me from ending his career tonight Steve. I dont care if Barney uses those lame as fuck weapons tonight. I got something better and he is going to remember it for a VERY LONG TIME! Barney, it ends tonight BITCH! Let's go Soldier!"

Back to ringside!


Barney Green w/ Jessie Diaz (Busy)
- vs -
Peter Gilmour w/ Unknown Soldier

Managers can contribute 1 RP each (2k word limit)

One Fall
Various objects will be hanging around the ring in arm's reach.
Usable objects include:
The crowbar that John Madison shoved up Gilmour's ass
A used tampon half eaten by John Black
Barney Green's spit jug
Mr. Supernova's severed arm
An Asmodeus cane
Flaccid whale penis with a pole attached


The poor interns have the misfortune of setting up the ring for this one. A young girl pinches her nose while she pinches the half eaten used tampon from John Black and hangs it from one of the hooks at ringside. Two other interns have the task of hanging a big, used spit jug from Barney Green. The crew finishes up hanging the rest of the objects as Barney and Peter make their entrances. Peter walks out with Unknown Soldier giving him a pep talk. To everyone's surprise, Barney Green walks out all alone; No Jessie Diaz in sight.

The bell rings as Barney and Peter stand in the center of the ring, surrounded by the weird assortment of weapons.

Barney runs towards Peter, but Peter side steps and trips Barney! Barney headbutts the ring canvas, twisting his ankle in the process. He might be injured.

Peter laughs at Barney, wickedly, and pounds his chest like Tarzan.

Peter runs off the ropes and hits Barney in the head with a Yakuza kick. Peter then grabs the used spit jug off the hooks and places it in the center of the ring. Peter also grabs the used tampon half eaten by John Black. Peter takes the used tampon, and shoves it into Barney's mouth! Sick.

Peter then drags Barney over to the over sized used spit jug which must contain over a gallon of spit juice.

With the used tampon still in Barney's mouth, Peter shoves Barney's head onto the rim of the spit jug. Peter than takes a step back and curb stomps Barney into the spit jug! The jug breaks into a hundred pieces and Barney's face becomes covered in tobacco juice!

Peter walks towards the crowbar that's hanging nearby. It's the same crowbar that John Madison shoved up Peter's asshole not too long ago. Peter reaches for it, but all of a sudden- ALL of the weapons raise out of reach! What the hell?

Suddenly, Eli James appears on stage. Why is he out here again?


Eli James IV: "Wait. Hold on Peter... Barney... a process is beginning. A process to help eliminate the evil and judge everyone for their sins... to let the light shine... and put a smile on Almighty's face. Tonight's General Manager, John Madison, and I are no strangers. We've worked together and opposed each other, but since Shane is no longer the head... of the company... it's time to make some changes tonight. John wants to bring vulgarity for amusement, but I'll bring judgment to fix the wrongs."

"And part of the evil is YOU, Barney Green. The XWF has been possessed by you far too long. It's time to exorcise the demon, bring judgment and be done with it."


At that moment, a sword is lowered from the ceiling.

Eli James IV: "Peter, rid of us of this evil! Use the Great Sword to slay the demon in that ring."

Peter takes the sword in both hands and looks down at Barney who's on his hands and knees.

Eli James IV: "Do it, Peter! Show these people the light!"

Peter holds the tip of the sword onto the back of Barney's fat neck as he contemplates his next move...

Peter lifts the sword up to the heavens...

...


he swings it downward


...

AND CUTS OFF THE HEAD OF BARNEY GREEN! Holy shit!

Barney's head rolls out of the ring as his body collapses to the ring mat.

Eli James IV applauds Peter from the stage as the audience watches in disbelief.

Peter does a victory dance around the ring, but he's cut off when suddenly...


Holy shit! It's Iron Man sporting a gay looking maple leaf on his chest! Not this guy again...

Peter Gilmour turns to face Iron Man, and Iron Man fires off some kind of liquid out of the palm of his hand directly into Peter's face! I'm no expert but if I had to guess, it was scolding hot shit! Why is Iron Man spraying people with hot substances, and since when is he Canadian?

Iron Man decides that he isn't done with Peter. He pulls Peter up to his feet, and hits him with the Canadian Destroyer! How the fuck did he pull off such a maneuver while wearing all of that heavy armor?

Unknown Soldier runs in to save Gilmour, but Iron Man uses his jet pack to flee the ring.


Winner by decapitation: Peter Gilmour



With the match over Gilmour and Soldier make their way up the ramp, Soldier disappears through the curtain but Gilmour stands at the top of the ramp to celebrate and admire his handy work. Suddenly the sound of static fills the arena just as it did on Warfare, Gilmour spins around and looks at the X-Tron as do all the fans in attendance. Soon the static stops and a message appears.


The





Of




Is






This message stays up on the screen for a moment before the static once again almost bursts everybody's ear drums. With the disturbance seemingly over Gilmour goes right back to celebrating until black objects start to fall from the rafters. One lands right on Gilmour's shoulder and that's when he notices, THEY'RE SCORPIONS. Gilmour quickly slaps it off of his shoulder and scurries to the back as they continue to fall from the rafters.


We turn our attention to the announce table at ringside where John Madison and NAZI are at it again. John is still going to work on the chewing tobacco, fighting to keep it in.

NAZI: "John, just give up already."

John Madison: "Fuck you, Nathaniel. Eli James already took away my show. Don't YOU try to take away my chaw!"

NAZI: "I'm not... oh screw it. John, what do you make out of that last segment we saw?

John Madison: "Fuckin' SCORPIONS! And Iron Man... Who would want to dump scorpions on Peter like that? Better yet, could it be that the scorpions and the Iron Man are in cahoots?"

NAZI: "No idea, but it looks like Peter's made a new enemy here in the XWF. That can't be good."

John Madison: "Or maybe an old enemy. Who knows?"

NAZI: "What do you think about this next match; the main event? Do you suspect Eli made any last minute changes to this one as well?"

John Madison: "I have confirmation that Eli actually left the arena. Praise the fucking Gods. Now we can go back to being entertaining. Who does he think he is, coming on here and changing shit? Barney's shit to be exact..."

NAZI: "Well, he's the owner of the XWF, John."

John Madison: "Well, it's bullshit. Whatever, him and Theo got what they deserved. Now they can go fuck off to their lame stable war."

"About the match. It's Theo and Nova versus Davids and Santos with 15 minute time limit."


NAZI: "Yes, you've imposed a time limit on this match which works in the favor of Santos and Davids. If Theo and Nova can't beat the clock then they lose. It's similar to the TV Title rules."

John Madison: "Right, and just for the record; this was booked prior to those shitheads turning on me. In all honesty, I wanted to show these people that these two are capable of competing under TV Title rules. And that's still what this is all about; proving that you are worthy of holding the title. Nova's never had this kind of pressure so it should be interesting to see what happens."


MAIN EVENT
Mr. Supernova
Theo Pryce
- vs -
Steve Davids
Tony Santos

Tables Turned Match!
Tables turned on Nova: Mr. Supernova can only post one promo (role play) per day.
Tables turned on Theo: Steve Davids can pick a rule or restriction for Theo Pryce's promos(role plays).
Standard Tag Team Rules
15 minute time limit


It's standard rules so no weapons or shenanigans for this match. Also, we have a 15 minute time limit in place as per the GM.

Nova and Davids will be the first to square off in this contest.

The clock is set to 15:00.
The bell rings.
And the clock counts down. 14:59

NOVA RUNS AFTER DAVIDS AT LIGHT SPEED!

Nova takes down Davids with a single leg take down and works over him with some mounted punches. Supernova is determined to beat the clock right from the get-go. He cannot let the time run out or his team loses.

Nova throws Davids up to his feet and pushes him into the corner. He hits Davids with some more punches, he's lightning quick with those body shots. Nova backs up and runs into Davids with a corner splash! Nova backs up again and follows with a second corner splash! Davids drops down to one knee in the corner, and Nova runs into him again, this time with a knee to the face. Nova rolls Davids onto his back and goes for a pin.

1

2


Davids quickly gets his foot on the ropes. He might have been too dazed to actually kick out, but luckily he was positioned next to the ropes.

Nova goes right back to work on Davids with a ground headlock. Davids is looking groggy with all the head attacks and the rush tactic from Nova. The thing about rushing is that Nova isn't able to position Davids appropriately. Davids is able to catch another rope break once he's able to realize how close to the ropes he still is.

Nova is right back up and is stomping Davids repeatedly in the ropes. The referee pushes Nova away after a 5 count. Nova follows the referee's instructions. The ref turns his back to check on Davids who's laying under the bottom rope and that's when the TV Champion takes advantage of the situation. Nova charges at Davids and knocks him out of the ring with a baseball slide kick to the ribs. Davids splatters on the outside, landing face first on the mat.

Nova climbs to the top rope.

...

Davids wobbles up to his feet, still outside the ring.


...

Nova dives off the top rope and hits Davids on the outside with a moonsault!

Nova slides back into the ring, trying to catch his breath. And yells at the referee to count Davids out.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

Davids gets back into the ring.

Nova slaps Theo hand at that exact moment, and now we have a fresh Theo Pryce in the ring while Nova rests on the apron.

Theo runs into the ring as Davids crawls to the half way point, and drops an elbow to the back of his head. Theo works over Davids close to the 11:00 mark.

Theo goes for an ankle lock submission on Davids but that turns out to be a mistake as Davids shoves his boot into Theo's face.

Theo gets pushed back but goes right back after Davids who struggles to his feet. Theo throws punches down into Davids. Davids covers up as Theo's only able to land shots to the back. Davids hulks up and throws a thunderous forearm to the chest of Theo Pryce!

Theo is pushed back by the forearm but goes right back to work. He goes for a punch, but Davids ducks it, goes behind Theo, and drops him with a German suplex!

Davids tags in Tony at the 9:00 mark.

Santos launches himself into the ring with a springboard, and nails Theo with a back elbow. Santos runs off the ropes and takes Theo down with a headscissors. Theo gets up to his feet and Santos knocks him out with an enzuigiri!

Santos climbs to the top rope and sets up for the Tony Award (Shooting Star Press) He takes the leap, but Nova leaves his corner and yanks Theo out of the ring! Santos catches himself in mid air and lands on his feet where Theo was lying.

The fans boo loudly after Nova illegally saved Theo Pryce from the Tony Award.

Nova and Theo try to regroup on the outside as the referee screams at Nova not to get involved in the match. One more offense and he might just DQ Nova.

Theo slides in at the 8:00 mark and comes face to face with Santos.

They lock up and Theo overpowers Santos with a side headlock. Theo transitions into a sleeper, and after a couple of seconds, drops Santos with a sleeper slam. Theo pins Santos.

1

2


Kick out!

7:00

Theo throws Santos into his team's corner and tags in Nova. They try to execute a double suplex on Santos, but Santos blocks it! Instead, Santos reverses it and suplexes the two of them.

Santos crawls to his corner now, and tags in Davids.

Davids runs in as Nova and Theo recover to their feet.

He hits Nova in the face with a running forearm to the face, causing Nova to back flip through the air. Davids grabs Theo, the illegal man, locks in a full nelson, and throws him over the top rope!

Davids waits for Nova to get to his feet since it's not like he's racing against the clock. Davids runs after Nova for a big boot, but Nova ducks it. Nova then kicks Davids and goes for a DDT, but Davids reverses that into a back body drop. Davids grabs Nova, pulls him to the center of the ring, and throws him over his head with a fall away slam! Davids pins Nova at the 5:00 mark

1

2




Kick out!

Davids quickly recovers and goes right into applying a rear naked choke. Not a good spot for Nova, he's got 5 minutes to beat and can't do that if he's in a submission hold.

Nova pulls himself towards the ropes, giving it everything he's got. He's gotta pull all of his alien strength together to drag this near 300 pounder with him to the ropes. Nova is unable to get to the ropes so he instead throws his elbow into the ribs of Davids. Those strike are enough to soften up David's grip, and allows Nova to roll his body to the ropes for a break.

Nova pulls himself up using the ropes. Davids charges after him for a high knee, but Nova ducks, pulls down the top rope, and Davids goes flying over the top rope and lands on the outside!

4:00

Nova tags in Theo.

Nova then ejects himself from the ring by hitting a plancha to the outside on Davids! The referee gets out of the ring and barks at Nova to get back in his corner. That gave Davids enough time to recover and slide into the ring.

Theo stomps Davids into the mat as he slides in. Theo then delivers a suplex in the center of the ring. Theo gets up again and drops an elbow into the heart of Davids. Theo throws Davids into the ropes and catches him with a powerslam, followed by a pin.

1

2



Santos runs in to make the save.

Theo gets frustrated with Santos running in and trash talks him in the corner.

That allows Davids to come up from behind and roll Theo up!

1

2




Kick out!

2:40

Davids dives forward after the kick out and tags in Santos.

Santos rushes in and takes out Theo with a leg lariat. Theo gets up and Santos keeps him at bay with some chops. Santos runs off the ropes and jumps into Theo for a cross body, but Theo reverses into a power slam!

1:55

Theo tags in Nova.

Nova runs across the ring and catches Santos in the face with a flying knee! Nova pins Santos.

1

2

Kick out!

Nova picks up Santos and uses his knee again, this time striking Santos repeatedly in the chest. Nova puts Santos back-first into the corner. Nova runs forward and launches himself into Santos with a corner drop kick to the chest.

1:10

Nova hits Santos with the Seeing Stars! (RKO) Nova pins Santos.

1

2


DAVIDS interrupts with a fist drop!

Theo runs in after Davids, but Davids deflects him with a big boot! Davids grabs Theo and drops him with the Game Over (Praying Mantis Bomb)!

Davids looks down at the King of the XWF who he just flattened. But then he gets hit in the back of his head by a roundhouse kick from Supernova. Davids falls through the ropes and out of the ring.

:25

Nova goes for Seeing Stars on on Tony, but Tony pushes him off. Tony rams Nova chest-first into the corner turnbuckle. Tony sets up Nova for a tornado DDT.

:16

Tony tries to come off the top rope for the tornado DDT, but Theo grabs Tony from the apron, preventing him from moving! Tony turns his attention to Theo and punches him off the apron!

:10

But then Tony turns back to Nova, and NOVA takes him off the top rope with the Seeing Stars!

Nova pins Tony at the 5 second mark.

Davids tries to get back in the ring to save his partner, but Theo jumps on Davids' back and chokes him out of desperation.

1

2



3! Nova secures the win with two seconds on the clock!

After the sound of the bell, Nova looks outside the ring to find Theo Pryce struggling to hold back Steve Davids. Theo is still on Davids' back with his arms wrapped around his throat.

Nova grabs the Television Title. He walks up to Davids and bashes him in the face with the golden plate of the championship belt.

Holy shit, it hardly fazes Davids.

Davids throws Theo off of his back. It's like the belt shot woke up a bear!

Davids comes up on Nova and begins choking him with both hands. The big bastard is gonna strangle the TV Champ! But Theo from behind, kicks Davids in the back of his head. Nova and Theo are now ganging up on Davids, kicking him down.

But wait-- John Madison and NAZI run down to save Davids.

Madison tackles Theo Pryce while NAZI throws a big NAZI boot to the face of Nova. NAZI is hammering away at Nova while Madison... Madison is actually shoving his four fingers down the throat of Theo Pryce, choking him.

Things are going well for the survivors of The Black Circle until ELI JAMES IV and LAZARUS show up.

Lazarus gives NAZI a DDT. Meanwhile Eli has John Madison in a choke hold Madison continues to force his fingers down Theo's throat. Eventually, Theo passes out from Madison's mandible claw, and Madison passes out form Eli's choke hold.

Eli and Lazarus stand tall over both groups to close the show.


Winners by pinfall: Mr. Supernova & Theo Pryce
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#2
02-02-2014, 05:41 AM

"One week in and the new XWF has seen three people beheaded. I wonder how many of you feel safe with Eli James at the helm? It's not to late too stand up for yourselves."


OOC: That was one shitty show.

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#3
02-02-2014, 07:09 AM

This means that Ezekiel literally lost the battle with AIDs.

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#4
02-02-2014, 07:10 AM

Nice main event.


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#5
02-02-2014, 12:08 PM

i will find who is under that shitty iron man mask and I will behead him! then I will find the poor soul who dumped Scorpions on me (and if its that Scorpio that used to be here, i will murder him) and he or she will be dealt with..

thank god we dont have to see that fat fuck Barney anymore.. next up MCBRIDE!

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#6
02-02-2014, 02:46 PM

(02-02-2014, 12:08 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: i will find who is under that shitty iron man mask and I will behead him! then I will find the poor soul who dumped Scorpions on me (and if its that Scorpio that used to be here, i will murder him) and he or she will be dealt with..

thank god we dont have to see that fat fuck Barney anymore.. next up MCBRIDE!



Listen here you dong sucking dynamo, you couldn't murder me if I gave you an AK47 and stood at point blank range because your dumb ass wouldn't be able to figure out how to take the safety off. Besides I had nothing to do with it, aparently it was the milking Cheney of Wolfenstein but I find it hilarious you're all worked up over a little scorpion. Now keep my fucking name out of your mouth because I've got important shit to do like not plotting a return to the XWF.


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#7
02-02-2014, 02:56 PM

ooc: whoever created a fake Scorpio account and got my hopes up, I hate you.
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#8
02-03-2014, 08:45 AM

Has anyone pulled that Larry Storm dude out of the shit? Did he die down there?

OOC:Both my characters won today, and I'm responsible for both of Zeke's losses!

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#9
02-03-2014, 11:45 AM

(02-02-2014, 02:46 PM)Scorpio Said:
(02-02-2014, 12:08 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: i will find who is under that shitty iron man mask and I will behead him! then I will find the poor soul who dumped Scorpions on me (and if its that Scorpio that used to be here, i will murder him) and he or she will be dealt with..

thank god we dont have to see that fat fuck Barney anymore.. next up MCBRIDE!



Listen here you dong sucking dynamo, you couldn't murder me if I gave you an AK47 and stood at point blank range because your dumb ass wouldn't be able to figure out how to take the safety off. Besides I had nothing to do with it, aparently it was the milking Cheney of Wolfenstein but I find it hilarious you're all worked up over a little scorpion. Now keep my fucking name out of your mouth because I've got important shit to do like not plotting a return to the XWF.

SUCK MY DICK!

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#10
02-03-2014, 12:31 PM



Gilmour didn't you just get head from Barney Green? Will your homosexual lust ever end brah?


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#11
02-03-2014, 04:27 PM

No he just got beheaded. You could be next

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#12
02-03-2014, 07:38 PM

(02-03-2014, 04:27 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: No he just got beheaded. You could be next

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#13
02-03-2014, 07:39 PM

keep laughing stinker

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#14
02-03-2014, 10:34 PM

Peter just challenged Scorpio to a Guillotine Match where the loser has their head cut off. I'll get to work on booking this right away.
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#15
02-03-2014, 10:44 PM

i didnt make no challenge.. go punch another baby

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#16
02-03-2014, 10:45 PM

(02-03-2014, 10:34 PM)John Madison Said: Peter just challenged Scorpio to a Guillotine Match where the loser has their head cut off. I'll get to work on booking this right away.


Madison, brah, this is Gilmour we're talking about here, he doesn't even have the balls to face me in a regular match. As stupid as he is, even he knows I'd get him in the Scorpio Deathlock and have him smacking the mat like I smack Rose's ass every time he leaves her home alone. Okay maybe I exaggerated a bit there, it isn't really EVERY time, Mr. XWF has to get his time in too.


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#17
02-03-2014, 10:46 PM

(02-03-2014, 10:44 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: i didnt make no challenge.. go punch another baby


Case in point Madison.

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#18
02-04-2014, 09:04 AM

ok if u want me to break your neck and end your career just like that other guy who looks like you.. then name the place and date and I'll stuff a real scorpion down your throat and hope u die!

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#19
02-04-2014, 10:34 AM

(02-04-2014, 09:04 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: ok if u want me to break your neck and end your career just like that other guy who looks like you.. then name the place and date and I'll stuff a real scorpion down your throat and hope u die!


Shove It, Feb 22nd, Auschwitz


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#20
02-04-2014, 10:08 PM

ooc: can't do it since im facing theo on madness. how about feb 26th warfare?

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#21
02-04-2014, 10:13 PM

(02-04-2014, 10:08 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: ooc: can't do it since im facing theo on madness. how about feb 26th warfare?

ooc: Not a problem, 26th is fine with me.


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