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VOICE OVER - Welcome WKRP Cincinnati listeners to the Evening Show with Venus, and now here's your host Venus Flytrap.

VENUS FLYTRAP INTRODUCTION -

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, Yo, Yo, Cincinnati thanks for tuning in to WKRP Cincinnati and this is the Evening Show with me, Venus Flytrap. What a night I have for you all, we have a special guest. He's here to take part in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation's Monday Night Madness this coming Monday, let me introduce to you, Mastermind. Yo, Yo, Yo, say hello to Cincinnati Mastermind."

"HI Cincinnati."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo. First of all let me ask the question. Where in the world are you from Mastermind?"

"I"m from a country called New Zealand."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo where is that yo?"

"You don't fucking know where New Zealand is dude? Do you know anywhere outside of Cincinnati?"

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, I have been out of the US, but that was years ago, please for our listeners sake tell us where New Zealand is yo."

"Dude if your listeners don't know where New Zealand is, I'm not going to take the time to explain myself. It's just absolutely worthless. Get a grip Mr. Flytrap, I came in here for a favor and you offer me this shit right off the bat."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo. It must be true what they say, wrestlers are so far stuck up themselves that they don't even know it."

Mastermind gets up and stares straight down at Venus.

"I'll give you something to be stuck up about."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, don't be like that, I'm sorry. It's entertainment value. But it's time for our first break. A word from our sponsors, back in a minute."

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Venus takes off his head phones, and stands to meet Mastermind's gaze.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Listen bro, this is all about ratings. XWF needs ratings, that is why they sent you here. I can easily end this now if you want but you need to play along."

"A few things. 1... Don't ever call me bro. 2... I don't care about if the XWF needs ratings or not, and I don't care for the reason that they sent me here, but I am here, and we are doing this, so don't give me crap about what you think should be a ratings winner, because I won't play along. So either pull the pin or not, it's fine by me."

Mastermind's Personal Assistant Julian Andrews walked up.

JULIAN: "Guys just calm your arses down. Let me help you both out by helping Mr. Flytrap with some questions. It'll be easier that way."

Mastermind and Venus continued to look at one another before they both sat down simultaneously. Venus put his head phones back on, and then turned the advertisements off.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, welcome back to the Evenings Show with yours truly Venus Flytrap. I've still got XWF Wrestler here Mastermind, and he's still wanting to discuss the situation he finds himself in on Monday. But first Mr. Mastermind, is it true that the female natives of New Zealand are a better lay than the White girls?"

Mastermind smiles.

"That is a better question to the one before Venus, so I'll answer it. Before I met my fiancee Maria, I believe yes they are. The Female Natives, the Maori, know how to have sex. But, and I do say But, like I said that was before I met Maria. She is a better fuck than anyone else that I have had sex with."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, what a good answer yo. We better move on before the Sex Police shut us down. So moving right along, this coming Monday is another important step in your career, apparently. This Monday night you challenge Loverboy Vinnie Lane for the Hart Championship. It says here Hart and not Heart. What's the Hart Championship if you wouldn't mind telling us."

Mastermind sighs, and looks at Julian, Julian looks back as if to say go with it.

"Well Venus, the Hart Championship is a title that has just been brought back in to the XWF, it's named after the famous Canadian Wrestling Family the Harts. Like Stu Hart, Bret the Hitman Hart, Jim the Anvil Neidhart, The British Bulldog, and the late great Owen Hart."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, I remember Bret the Hitman Hart. The excellence of execution. He use to say The best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be."

"That's the same one. You're right on the money Mr. Flytrap."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, before we get to your opponent, we better take another break and hear from our sponsors. Gotta pay those bills. Back soon Cincinnati."

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Venus takes off his head phones again. He stands up and offers his hand to Mastermind.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Sorry Man I tend to forget about staying in character, I want to apologize for before."

Mastermind looks at Venus, and then at Julian, and then sighs and shakes his hand.

"I hate fools. You were a fool before Venus, you were lucky I never smacked you one."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Well I'm just glad that it never got to that point. What's up next Mr. P.A?

JULIAN: "Well we have questions about his opponent, and then we have rebuttal time to what his opponent has said, and then we'll take some talk back."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Sounds good, let's get back to it, then."

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The sponsors advertisements finishes, and Venus goes back on the air.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo welcome back to the Evening Show Cincinnati listeners, with yours truly Venus Flytrap. We still have Mastermind from the XWF here, tell us about your opponent Vincent Lane."

"Well his full name is Loverboy Vinnie Lane, he thinks he is the bees knees with the woman, because he thinks he is a punk rocker. He's no puck rocker. But he is good at Wrestling."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, sounds like you have mutual respect for him?"

"Normally yes, and before the last fortnight I guess there was heaps of respect for him. He has the one thing I want, and I really want it. So I am going to take it from him on Monday Night. I am going to be the next Hart Champion."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, those are very big words indeed."

"Those aren't just any big words Venus, it's the truth. I am going to go to Monday Night Madness, take Vinnie on in the Kirk MacClay Triple Cage Challenge, and climb the ladder and take the belt. And then I am going to become the next Hart Champion. I WILL BE the next Hart Champion."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, The Kirk MacClay Triple Cage Challenge sounds the coolest. What does that entail?"

"That's easy Venus, 3 cages are stacked on one another, and in order to get to the next level you must get a pin. I'm expecting Vinnie to come out strong as he is the defending Hart Champion, so it'll be ferocious, but he'll take the first pin, in the standard cage, but then his fitness will fall away and that is where I will take over, and pin Vinnie inside the second cage which has weapons inside. I love weapons, I also like cage matches. I've beaten people before in cage matches. Peter Gilmour knows the feeling. The Thunderdome was awesome.

"So I'll knock Vinnie in to the middle of next week, by using weapons, and then I'll pin him, and then the third and final cage becomes available. That one has a Ladder to end the match. You must climb the ladder to be able to grab the Hart Championship Belt which is hanging above the ring, in order to become the next Hart Champion. And I for one Venus, will be doing that. Reaching for success."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, That match sounds brutal?"

"Brutal isn't a word that I would be using Venus. The words I'd be using would be; life changing, or career changing, or better yet, life defining. Winning the Hart Championship would mean everything to me. Just like it did when I won the X-Treme Title twice. Just like it did when I wanted that damn Intercontinental Title last week when I took on the great Sebastian Duke.

"But to me with all due respect Loverboy Vinnie Lane will be a great one day, and so will I. I have that utmost respect for him. It just has to be put to the back pedal this week the respect does, because it doesn't get you very far in a title match. I have learned that over the years."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, That sounds deep dude?"

"It comes from the Hart Venus. Not just my heart, but the Hart Championship itself."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, I see, I see. It says here that Loverboy Vinnie Lane is the number 1 contender for the Universal Championship, that's XWF's top title is it not?"

"You are correct there Venus. Vinnie has been Number 1 Contender since January. He's been drawing that out for just a tad over 2 months. He wants to wait until the next Pay Per View, to challenge Doctor Louis D'Ville who is the defending Universal Champion."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, That sounds like it grates on you a bit?"

"It bloody well does Venus, especially when he comes out and says that I held on to a shot of a title since November when I won the XWF Superstar of the Month award. I got a free shot at any title, and I only used it last week against Vincent of all people."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, November is longer than January?"

"No shit Sherlock. I realize that. But he's the Number 1 Contender. Number 1 Contender's have to go at a moments notice, like a week or so. Not bloody 2 or 3 months later. It's unfair on the rest of the competition."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Life is unfair most days. I see here that Vinnie is a former X-Treme Champion, much like yourself. Yet you've been stating that he hasn't won that title yet, why?"

"Forgive my ignorance people. Forgive me Vinnie if you are listening, but the answer to that question is, he was only X-Treme Champion for 2 Days. 2 Days Venus. 2 Fucking days. That's nothing in my eyes. Nothing I bloody tell you. Nothing. I bet him to that title and the first time I held it, I held it for 2 weeks exactly. The second time I won it, I held it for almost 3 weeks. That's 34 days in total compared to his 2. 2 I tell you 2. So forgive me for not giving a crap. For forgetting that he, Vincent, was just a blip on the X-Treme Championship. It's laughable, and forgettable. That is why I never really credit him with the X-Treme Title. But I guess I better start."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Well now I see why, because I think 34 Days is better than just 2 Days."

"Thank you Venus. But let's not belittle Vinnie for just that. He's been a Trios Champion, which is now defunct. He held it for 2 and a half months. He held it with Zoey Ryback, who's since disappeared, and wasn't worth much, and Clean Lucena, who isn't here either. But credit goes to where credit is due. I tried for that Trios title once, but failed. Never again.

"He never got the Television Title which is now defunct too. Just like I, he tried, and failed. He never got a hold of the Tag Team Championships either. But the thing is I never tried for those. But I have two free shots at those. Any time I like. I just need to find the right tag team partner for that to happen."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Thank you for that information Mastermind. I think we need to take a break, because we need to pay for shit, but when we return, Loverboy Vinnie Lane has come out and said stuff in his latest promo, that Mastermind can have a response too, for sure, live on air. I cannot wait for that. Back soon after these messages."

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Venus takes off his head phones and looks at Mastermind.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Are you ready for the rebuttal section of this interview?"

"As ready as I will ever be."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "That's good to know. Get ready."

Mastermind stood up, and stretched. Venus put his head phones back on and waited for the Sponsor's advertisements to finish, and Venus goes back on the air.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo welcome back to the Evening Show Cincinnati listeners, with yours truly Venus Flytrap. We still have Mastermind from the XWF here, we've heard all about you Mastermind and your thoughts about the upcoming title match. Now it's time for some rebuttal. Before the break you were speaking of how Vinnie was champion. He goes on about it."

Vinnie Said:I’m a champion. I’m THE Madness Champion. I’m THE HART Champion. THE Federweight Champion. I WILL BE the Universal Champion. Because THAT is my destiny and that is what I am here to fulfill.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, What's your response to that Mastermind?"

"It's true Loverboy is currently the Madness Champion, the Hart Champion, The Federweight Champion, and he is looking to become the Universal Champion. But his destiny as Hart Champion is about to end come Monday Night, I will make damn sure of that. He doesn't need to be a pig, or a hog, and hog titles. He can let one go. And he will be letting the Hart Championship go. To me."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, what about him being the Federweight Champion?"

"What about it Venus? I don't give a flying cahoots about the Federweight Champion. I don't have the desire to possess it. It means nothing to me. It means shit to me. What I really want is that Hart Title."

Vinnie Said:I mean, sure, Mastermind is trying to be creepy by falling into a magic mirror or something

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, What is he talking about Magic Mirrors for?"

"I don't know Venus, I think the old Loverboy has just lost his rocker. I don't know what the fuck he is going on about magic mirrors for. I don't own one. I wish I did though."

Vinnie Said:That’s gotta be why Mastermind… or is he even Mastermind these days? Should I call his ‘evil’ self Mindmaster? Anyway, that’s why Mindmaster is so proud of his little funhouse mirror, huh? Not only does it probably make him look taller, but it doesn’t immediately break when he looks into it with that busted face of his. Must be reinforced glass, dude.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, There he goes again talking about Magic Mirrors and you changing your ways."

"Once again Venus I do not know what the fuck that Vincent is going on about. I'm still the same old Mastermind, but I just realize that I need to act staunchly and rough to make it in this business, especially trying to grab the Hart Championship away from Vinnie. Vinnie must have looked into one too many mirrors himself. He's so vain, he won't even cut his hair. Just look at him he's a scrag-gin muffin. But I do have a photo that the listeners don't need to see. It's from looking at himself one too many times in a mirror. That's where brains gets you."

Mastermind passes Venus a photo:


"Doesn't that look scary Venus? Vincent actually covered it up once that he broke his own mirror looking like that. He needs to wear all this god awful make up now days."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Well listeners all I can say to that is.... damn... I'm kinda glad that you guys can't see that picture. Anyway lets move on. Best we move on."

Vinnie Said:And this Monday, in front of thousands of screaming Loverboy fans, I’m going to put an end to this new phase of that dude’s career. He thinks he can just try and put on a tough guy act and that will get him past a superior athlete like me? Guess what, dudes… playing the bad guy doesn’t make you any taller, stronger or BETTER. It just makes you look stupid when you’re talking to yourself in the mirror, man.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Do you care to add anything to that Mastermind."

"Of course I fucking well want to add to that. I don't think about putting on a tough guy act. I am a tough guy. I am the toughest guy that he will ever come across this year, and he knows it. He's not superior to me. We're both the same. He may have gotten further, it maybe his time to go after the Universal Championship, my time will come. I will be walking Taller, being strong, and I will be the better person coming out of Monday Night, because I will be walking out the Hart Champion, and there is not a damn thing he can do about it."

Vinnie Said:watch me beat the big, bad, wolf himself not once… not twice… but THREE times in the same night!

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Surely you have a response to that?"

"Hell yeah. It's going to be a fantastic night. If he wants the big, bad, wolf, he's going to get the big, bad, wolf. Because I am ready to roar, and come into the cage and terror his make up off the ugly dude, and show the world what they are seeing for the first time ever. Both of us will be beaten, not once, not twice but three times, because Vinnie tell the truth man. You and I both know that it's three cages in one night, So it's going to be hell of a beating. Are you fucking ready for it, because I know I am."

Vinnie Said:Maverick and John Madison, that say that Mastermind is going to be overcoming the odds and walking out of Madness as the HART Champion. They say that this is his time. They say that he’s even the favorite to win.

I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, dude, but those people are wrong.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, big words from people like Maverick and John Madison. What do you have to say about that?"

"For fuck sake, I don't give a crap what Maverick thinks. He's a waste of space. So he won the Tag Team titles the other night. So fucking what. We all know he turned up just the once. Usually he runs home to his momma with his tail between his legs. So I don't dig what Maverick has to say. If he looks like a pig, and squeals like one, he must be one.

"But I agree with John Madison. Mr. Madison knows his stuff. He's seen me rise from the bottom of the heap to the top of the heap, to know that I am a genuine threat for Vinnie's title. You know what Venus. It is my time. I'm not the favorite, I'm just an underdog. Vinnie's just running scared if he thinks Madison is wrong."

Vinnie Said:The first being that “Evil Mastermind,” just like “Regular Boring Mastermind,” still just sits in a chair, twiddling his thumbs, and talking out of his ass as if it were going out of style.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, huge statement there Mastermind?"

"It is a huge statement Venus, but a wrong statement. He just doesn't like it when I cut promos, because they are much, much better than his. I don't twiddle my thumbs, I don't sit on my ass or even talk out of it, okay I like sitting in my chair, because I know I can, and I know I will continue to do so. He loves to remind people of this fact. So fucking what. Who the fuck cares if I sit in my chair or not. Go and sing a song, and pull another one out of your ass."

Vinnie Said:You had to go and bring up War Games, didn’t you?

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Your reaction Mastermind?"

"It's not true. Here's the fact. A few weeks ago we were in a tag match on the opposite side of each other. He was the one who brought up War Games. Not me. So I was just firing back because that's what I thought, sorry, no, not thought, that's what I knew he would do. I was just getting in first. He hates the fact that we were in War Games together. We were on the same team. I was his Captain. And we lost. I accepted the loss, and moved on. He didn't. He fell in to despair and the rest was history. I don't fucking care about it, because it wasn't me. Boo fucking who cares. Not me that's for sure."

Vinnie Said:I’m a star. I’m a megastar, a shooting star, burning bright across the sky

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Again, your reaction Mastermind?"

"Yea I agree. He's a star alright. He's famous for shooting crap out of both of his ass and his mouth. He goes on, and on, and on, and it gets boring. Megastar, sure. Shooting Star, Sure, Burning Brightly sure, but also a famous for shit stirring. The biggest shit stirrer since Frodo and Gator, and maybe Morbid Angel. What stinks around here? Oh that's right it's Vinnie Lane."

Vinnie Said:Then there’s War Games. What was the difference there, huh? What was such an insurmountable failure that the biggest star the XWF has ever seen, alongside a fantastic talent like Gator, wasn’t able to overcome?

It was you.

The so-called ‘captain’ of our team, but the only thing you captained was a sinking ship straight to the bottom. You failed us all that day, Mastermind, and you left us all with blemishes on our record against guys like Pest and Frodo, two dudes I’ve beaten on my own multiple times. We lost to motherfucking SCULLY, Mastermind. SCULLY.

So yeah, dude, it took me a while to get the taste of that shit out of my mouth, man. It should have. I was let down, not by my performance, of course, but by YOU. I was let down by the guy who was supposed to be the glue keeping us all together. But of course, that was the mistake that I made in the first place, isn’t it? Trusting you to be able to lead. You’re nothing more than a follower, as evidenced by your sudden need to swing off of Doc D’Ville’s nuts like a fucking trapeze artist in the world’s most homoerotic circus.

Fuck, Mastermind, you just shrugged that loss off and went on with your day because losing is WHAT YOU DO. All those big matches I mentioned a few minutes ago? Every one of them was a show you lost at.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Man he does a lot of complaining doesn't he? Your reaction?"

"I'm sorry what was that. I dozed off. I'm over his complaining ass. It gets boring after a while. And it makes me fall asleep. And I have much better things to do to respond to that pile of shit."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Well I think we better leave it there then before I lose my listeners for good?"

"I think that's a fucking great idea Venus. It was nice coming in. It's just a shame that we couldn't have feedback from the public."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Well maybe we'll have you back in when you win that Hart Championship?"

"See Venus you're getting it. No one else does. I like you after all man."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, Well Mastermind say good bye to our WKRP Cincinnati listeners."

"I wish to invite you all to come to the U.S. Bank Arena, on Monday Night, here in Cincinnati and watch me take down Loverboy Vinnie Lane on Monday Night Madness, and become the next Hart Champion. So for now good night all."

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Yo, yo, yo, good luck Mastermind. We'll take a break and be back with the news, and I'll be back after that."

Venus put on the sponsors messages, and stood up, and took off his head phones. He put out his hand to Mastermind, who accepted. They shook hands.

VENUS FLYTRAP: "Good luck, on Monday Mastermind. I seriously mean it man."

"Thanks dude."

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