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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » 24/7 Federweight Championship
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You suuuurrreeee look purdy with that belt
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Muddy Waters
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#1
04-07-2015, 06:16 AM

…I see ya’ over there Vinnie Lane…
Watchin’ Mister Big videos, sweatin’ like a whore in church. Or is that really tears? Either way I feel some sorta’ homoerotic senses perforatin from Mr. Lane over there.
A belt on each shoulder, it’s makin’ right now about as much sense as screen door on a submarine.

…Why in the hell the Hart Champion is parading around with the Federweight title is beyond me…
But boy, oh boy, he’s wearin’ that there like some nice jewelry, and from the backside with that long blonde hair looks mighty purdy right now.

This boy has got a big ol’ match with MasterMind Wednesday, he orta’ not be worried about carrying around that there Federweight belt.
Always ah’ lookin’ over his shoulder, like he’d done robbed a little ol’ decrepit lady of her purse, well which is what he did by beatin’ up that Calypso feller. I mean yer’ runnin’ around challenging Doctor D’Ville, winnin’ Stampedes all that jive- to beatin’ up on Calypso?

Well just look at this silly sissy, don’t seem like he knows if he needs to check his ass or scratch his watch. Maybe I orta’ just beat this pretty boy in the back of the head now with this here beer bottle and take his precious little belt. After all I’d be doin’ her, I mean him a favor right?

Then again… do I even wanna’ run around with that ugly ass belt, fightin’ off the genuine like Tommy Wish and such? Hell yeah I do! It’s a fat ass pay check and Muddy loves his money!


Muddy sees Vinnie Lane laughing at some stupid ass commercial.

Ahh fuck this guy, hair bangs lookin’ like a walrus-stache, as damn dumb as snake mittens… Hell if anyone ever wanted to off themselves, all they’d need to do is climb up this asshole’s ego and jump down to his IQ level.
Fucker orta’ eat some of that make up on his face so he can be as purdy on the inside as he is on the out.

Ol’ peter-nuts Lane, Suuuuuperstar of the Mooonth, Haaaarrrt Champion, Unnnniiiiversal Contender… Federweight Champion? Give Muddy Waters a goddamned break, why don’t he leave a little somethin’ here for the little guys? Guys tryin’ to make a name for themselves, and I aint talkin’ bout’ jackasses like Tommy Wish and Calypso who never book into shows and only run around back here pinin’ one another cause they like how it feels, I’m talkin’ bout the hard workers who wanna’ make somethin’ of themselves in XWF. Somebody like Muddy fuckin’ Waters

This fucker here got more money than he’d ever know how to spend it, and as much stupidity to boot, hell if the price of bein’ a dumb ass ever goes up to five dollars a barrel I wants’ me drillin’ rights to Vinnie Lane’s head. I’d imagine there’s some gay group of love ballad ferries floatin round in there performin’ some chipmunks rendition of Poison’s Every Rose Has It’s Thorn…
...Oh the hell with this...


Muddy chugs the rest of his beer and runs up behind Vinnie Lane, smashing him in the head with the beer bottle.

AND
DOWN
GOES

LANE!!!!

MUDDY GOES FOR THE PIN!
1...



2...
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Vincent Lane (04-07-2015)
Vincent Lane Offline
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
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#2
04-07-2015, 02:10 PM

Loverboy bridges out of the pin attempt, kicking out, and smirks while flattening his beer soaked hair down on his head again.



Nice to meet you, Mister Muddy, dude!

I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced – I’m “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane. I’m a multiple time champion, the shoo-in for Star of the Month, the representative of the Madness brand and the reigning number one contender to the Universal Championship. You’ve probably seen me winning matches while you were on the bench, or on the X-Tron while you were selling corndogs in the bleachers.

On a more personal level, I’m the dude your sister wishes was fucking her while your inbred ass is trying to find the right hole to get up in them guts by. As if the world needs any more slack-jawed rednecks with extra chromosomes running around in it.

Now dude, I know you have an Alabama education, which is basically the equivalent of learning about electricity by sticking your dick in a power outlet – do you even get electricity in your single-wide? But calling me a and then telling me you like the way my ass looks at the same time doesn’t really make a lot of sense.

For that matter, neither does insulting my Federweight title by calling it beneath me while simultaneously trying to win it for yourself. I mean, it’s awesome for you to acknowledge my spot being so much higher up than yours, but it doesn’t really make you look too good, you know?

Then again, I guess expecting some knuckle-dragging good ol’ boy to use his head for anything other than crushing cheap beer cans onto is having pretty high expectations, huh? Maybe we should start simpler so your ears don’t start bleeding all over your ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ overalls.

That’s a book, by the way. Like the bible you jerk off into at night, but more factual.

Just kidding about the bible, I know you can’t read.

So here’s what we’re gonna do, you little armadillo-fucking hillbilly. I’m gonna kick out of your weak-ass pin here and then go put more Aqua Net into my extensions to make sure I’m still looking like the cover of Rolling Stone and not the BBQ menu your momma queefed out the better parts of you onto.

Then, you’re gonna run along like a good boy and stay the fuck out of my business. I’ll be nice this time and let your bow-legged self walk away outta here under your own volition, but I’m warning you, dude, you try and get in between me and my title again and I’ll kick your three remaining teeth out of your mouth so you can finally give your Uncle Cletus the gummer he’s been trying to convince you to give him since you turned nine.

Do the world a favor, Deliverance, and spend your time trying to make the local pastor squeal like a pig instead of attempting to break into the grown man business of wrestling. You’re just a dumb kid with a dumb name and an asshole three cocks wide. You ain’t ready, boy.

Now git.


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John Samuels (04-08-2015)
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#3
04-08-2015, 06:09 PM

Winner and STILL Federweight champion: 'Loverboy' Vinnie Lane!

[Image: WP1YGuk.png]
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