If I ramble or have paragraph and sentence fragments, please forgive me.

I'm sure I'll get some kind words and that is nice, and I will appreciate them, but I'm writing this for me. Not for that.

In my nearly 30 years, expressing myself verbally, unless its anger, has been a challenge. I've chosen all these years to express my emotions through writing.

Through the year, myself, my brothers and sisters, and my cousins always called her 'Mom Mom.' It started when my older brother was young and living with my grandparents. He used to try and call her Mom and she'd always refuse. He added a second 'mom' to it and the name just stuck.

She was quite literally a matriarch of a family. She was a rock. Everyone went to her with problems... financial... personal... marriage issues... whatever the case was, she was always there.

Seven hours ago, that all ended.

The single most beautiful person I have ever had the opportunity to meet finally lost her fight. And fight, she did. For 20 years shes fought kidney failure, diabetes, heart failure... and won. Recently she developed complex breathing problems. Today, the fight was over. She is at peace. She spent a lot of her time in hospitals. I mean, we took it for granted that this tough as nails woman would always pull through. Always get to come home. She always have. Today though it sounded different.

Believe me people know when their time is up. She knew. I knew. I wanted it to not be true but at the same time, I didn't want her to suffer anymore.

I had this ritual and I kept it for more then 20 years. Anytime I left her home I'd tell her I love her and kiss her forehead. I did it tonight for the final time. I never knew how hard it would be to not hear "I love you too." It was hard. Brutally.

I have no idea what I'll do. She was the one person I could tell anything to and she wouldn't judge. Just listen, give her advice, show compassion, and just be there. I can't do that anymore.

Obviously my family is a wreck.

My grandfather, "Pap", just lost his wife of 54 years. An amazing woman who stuck by him even when he was an abusive alcoholic and she shouldn't have. Thankfully I never had to see that side of him since he quit drinking in '79. I worry about him the most. He's old school. The woman stayed at home while the man went out and worked. The last few years he waited on her day in and day out. Washed dishes and clothes. Vacuumed. Anything and everything. He did it for her. They fought like cats and dogs, but you don't stay together for 54 years and not love someone. He's an emotional wreck. Repeatedly saying "this isn't happening."

An amazing woman who showed nothing but unconditional love to not only us kids, but even our friends. Always welcoming. Warm, caring, tough when needed... as I said, the single most beautiful person I've ever met.

The old saying goes: you don't know what you got until it's gone. Trust me, you never truly know what it means until you lose someone this damn important to you.

Her own favorite saying was "I forgot more then you'll ever know." I always loved when she said it. I'll miss hearing it.

Christmas was her holiday. She enjoyed nothing more then getting to see her own 3 kids, her 9 grandchildren, and her 17 great-grandchildren. Especially at Christmas. She made it special just by her presence. Next Christmas will be tough.

A special woman that will be missed greatly by all that had the pleasure to know her.

She's at peace now.

I love you Mom Mom. Not a day will go by that I will not think of you and cherish each and every moment I was able to share with you. I'll miss you.



I wanted to thank all of you for allowing me a moment to express myself in the only way I know how to.


-Sean Brommer
(Sebastian Duke & Madness GM Paul Heyman)

I want to express the same feelings, My grandmother who had been living with us for the past six years passed away this past December on the 2nd. I always remember thinking of how terrible it would be to not have a relative there for Christmas, a birthday, Easter, what ever the holiday may have been. Well grandma didn't make it too Christmas but that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was seeing the woman who I looked up to, much like you said Duke she was an inspiration to my life always fighting, always helping, but ALWAYS loving. She would do anything to help anyone no mater what the cost. The last week or two when I would come home I could just tell it wasn't right that she wasn't her same old self.

Her last few days of her life were spent in a hospice. She was unconscious from the amount of drugs that they had to put her under so that she wouldn't feel any pain. This was the aboslutly hardest thing to see. The day before my father a strong man (i have never seen him cry about anything) said that she looked at him and said, "I am in a lot of pain, could you help me sir?" She didn't recocnize him.

This made me break down, I couldn't believe that she was in such a condition, I was later told how she had been fighting for the past six years through many different diseases and coming back home as if there was no problem doing the laundry while we were at school and parents at work cleaning the entire house from top to bottom even when it was extreamly hard for her to climb or decend stairs.

I am really just typing to get my emotions out and havn't really had anywhere to go to and let all of this out but I felt this would be appropriate. She is deeply missed and it has been three months and twenty three days. I havn't gone a day without remembering her, with out wishing she was still here, but at the same time being glad that she didn't have to fight any longer but she could be at rest.

Thank you duke and please may your mom mom rest at ease along with my own grandma. I love you grandma and hope that I get to see you again one day.

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I am very sorry for your loss, Sean. I lost my grandmother when I was very young and only years later did it eventually hit me what and who I really lost. She was my best friend growing up. She was the reason I ever watched wrestling as she was a huge fan of it and always would talk about "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff even though I had no idea who that was at the time. She also used to always complain about Hulk Hogan, and how stupid it was that a guy like King Kong Bundy could beat the hell out of him for a whole match but then she'd look away for 2 seconds and Hogan was getting his hand raised the winner. (reminds me so much of my complaints of Cena today... she would have HATED Cena)

I know no specific words will act like magic and make this better but I do know to some extent how you're feeling. I've had 3 people in my family who always have been the most important 3 ever and my Grandma was one of them. A little over a year ago I lost another one of my "big 3" when I lost my cousin to cancer after a long struggle. The last thing I was able to tell her was that I'd see her soon and I know that in the grand scheme of things, that will be the case because our lives are simply a tiny speck in time.

If you ever need to just talk or get your mind off things, you know I'm always available on IM. It's up to us to keep the ones we've loved and lost alive and strong because it's our memories of their great acts on this Earth that live on strong and are a great gift to possess in their honor.

Hey, man, I'm sorry to hear that. I think that there's a special place in Heaven reserved for grandmothers. I gotta say, that was a beautiful post man. If means anything, I think you really shared something of in her in what you wrote...and I really have a feel for what a wonderful person she must have been. I guess all you really can do is share the love that she gave you with the rest of the world, especially your family.

I gotta say, she's clearly blessed to have a loving grandson who knew how important and special she was. My grandma went to be with the Lord over a decade ago and I am always haunted by the fact that I wasn't there as much as I should've been, that I wasn't appreciative enough or expressive enough in my love for her. It sounds to me like she definitely knew how much you loved her...and it sounds like you were able to spend a lot of time with her, which is awesome. My grandma didn't live in the same city as any of her biological grandchildren, actually, she lived in inner-city Chicago while us grand-kids lived in nice suburban areas. A lot of us didn't really see her during her final months, I think the fact that you were there must've been invaluable for her.

Anyway, thanks for sharing that.

My condolences

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I haven't been around much lately... but I sympathize.

My mother is in stage 4 kidney failure due to diabetes complications. She has a laundry list of ailments and is on her way out, about to start dialysis. With diabetes, odds aren't good for her. She had a heart attack a year ago and has congenital heart issues. My mother has fought for 25 years as well against diabetes, heart failure and kidney issues.

There are no words to help assuage a grief like this so I won't attempt to give platitudes or whatnot.

I understand your grief.

It saddens me.

I hope you have a strong support system to help you. You're a good guy and judging by the product, I'd gamble your grandmother was a pretty good person herself.

This really, really hits home for me because I know the struggle you've been going through and I fear the very day I might make a post similar to this one. I know that day isn't far away...

And on a poetical note, it's a bit out of context, but the words in my banner really ring true.

Death never has dominion.

Disregarding personal opinions of an afterlife, a life well-lived is one defined by the magnitude of grief left in it's absence. I think that's a good measuring stick on a real and gritty level. Love is truly an eternal thing - may change names, lives or faces but it's something integral to who and what we are. Your memories truly are a foster home now. Go over each one of her slowly, solidify it and keep it sturdy. The crisper you remember her the longer she'll stay with you in more vivid memory. Regardless, I'm sure she'll always live through you. That's the great thing about legacy.

Good people leave legacies.

And I can't think of a greater legacy then that of being one whom offered uncoditional love.

I said goodbye to her tonight. I gave her that final kiss goodbye and I lost it.

Strangers I'd never met made a showing. Her spirit, her laughter, her life lives on in all of us that had the honor to know her... She was a special woman. A lot of people are special... She was above them... I'm not saying that because I'm her grandson, I say it because she was truly a special person. A cut above the rest.

My cousins were very active in high school sports... Through the years, she became "Mom-mom" to hundreds of high school kids... Many of them passed through tonight, she would have been touched to know so many cared.

Just a warning, I may ramble again.

She leaves behind a legacy. A legacy of love passed on to her children, who in turned passed it on to their children, who then passed it on to THEIR children... My heart breaks for those yet to be birthed, as they will never have the honor to meet the woman that started it all... That's up to us.... To carry on her legacy the best we can...

One of her favorite sayings was 'The family that plays together, stays together,'

Once the majority of the grief passes, I want to make a proposition to my family... Every year from now on, to remember what Mom-mom started... and to celebrate her birthday... hold a family reunion on her property on her birthday...

For someone who cherished her family the way she did, I think it'd be something that would make her proud. All of those she loved so dearly, coming together to remember her, and celebrate her life...

I so wish that all of you here would have had the opportunity to meet her. She was truly unique and everyone who ever met her loved her. She had that kind of bubbling personality.

I love her so much. I'll miss her beyond words. No family holiday will be the same without her.

I fear the reality of it still has yet to hit me...

I did give her that final kiss of the forehead... She would have appreciated that...


I'mma shut up now... If I dont I might start NOT making sense

Well, what you did say made perfect sense. That so awesome that she "adopted" so many grand kids via your cousins. And awesome that those kids came through. Who knows whether a lot of those kids had grandmas of their own, you know?

Sorry for your loss, man. But it sounds like her legacy will endure. Sounds like it even stretches beyond just your biological family.

I will always be here to talk and help you any way I possibly can, the final words I left my grandmother with were at her service and they were, "let us not mourn the loss of our loved one, but instead celebrate the life of such an amazing woman." I want you to live to the same extent. She was obviously a huge influence on your life and someone so amazing should have there life celebrated. It is very hard to do so, so soon after and I know this crying as I said those words at her service, but it will help remembering how great your mom-mom was and will continue to be even after life. I'm dearly sorry for you'r loss and please let me know if theres anything I can do to help.

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