Thunder Knuckles is with Jimmy at XWF Video archives. Thunder Knuckles seems a little down in the dumps. However, Jimmy looks like the happiest man in the world.


Come on, Thunder Knuckles, cheer up! You beat The Calvary on Savage!

Yeah, but…

But what?

Under the instruction of Shane , goddamn Richard Yang came out. Then it turns out that The Cavalry was jumped in the back. After all yours truly, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles, himself got jumped as well.

Are we just going to gloss over the fact that The Calvary was butt ass naked and you were laying on him?


Thunder Knuckles’s dementor looks irritated but calm.


And I hit him with a fucking Thunder Strike for that shit, didn’t I?!

Kind of homophobic there Thunder Knuckles.

I’m not homophobic! I have tons of gay friends. We're not like let's get naked and shit, friends. Friends nonetheless, cock sucker!


Jimmy shrugs his shoulders not caring whether Thunder Knuckles is or isn't homophobic.


Whatever, a win is a win. Besides you got Hanari Carnes next.


Thunder Knuckles slumps down in his seat sulking.


Okay, fine. It’s necessary that you take responsibility for what happened. That you made it happen when you did a deal with a man, the likes of Shane . BUT, don't give up, don't take an objection, or disappointment, or defeats like that personally. You have to keep on keeping on. Don't decide that you can't make it just because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. You need to realize that this is all part of the plan! See as long as you're breathing you got a shot at your dream and here and now is something you got to resolve. You got to think that it isn’t over until you get through. It's not over until you get over. It's not over until you get what you want.

It’s not over until I get what I'm fucking owed!

That's right!

If the door isn’t open today, okay mother fucker. I’m just gonna come back and take the mother fucking hinges off that bitch and kick it the fuck in!


Thunder Knuckles starts to say something else but Jimmy quickly cuts him off without being slapped.


That's what you have to do! That's how you got to do that shit, Thunder Knuckles. You've got to have that kind of courage, that type of determination. That's you, Thunder Knuckles! I know it! You've got to take personal responsibility in advancing in March Madness a reality. You can point out many things that can make it inconvenient or slow you down but ultimately it’s up to you!




Thunder Knuckles sits back up in his seat with a little more pride and determination.


Somedays, of course, I’ll get tired. Some days I'll get beat up. Some days I will get knocked down, and I will have some bad days, but I will not stop, Jimmy! XWF isn't punching the clock and going home for the day. Here, there are no weekends. This is an everyday fucking gig. Every day is a fucking Monday and, Hanari Carnes, you might not like that. But ME? I fucking love it! To me, every day is a new shot at life, an opportunity to come out of the gorilla position like a man possessed and attack the day, and my opponent, without goddamn mercy. March 14th, 2020 I'm putting the pressure on you, you little bitch. I'm going to be the aggressor. I'm going to be the one on the fucking attack.

That's right Thunder Knuckles tell him you don't get this far, to this point, to just stop-


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy and eyes him down. Jimmy doesn’t care this time because he feels as though, Thunder Knuckles, is getting into his stride.


Seeing as I'm the giver of opportunities Hanari Carnes.


Jimmy’s smile fades and looks confounded. Had Jimmy read Thunder Knuckles wrong?


I’m going to give you the same opportunity that I gave The Calvary.


Jimmy wipes the sweat from his brow knowing Thunder Knuckles gave The Calvary no quarter.


How much is it going to cost to put my twitter account on the bottom of your boots? Because like The Calvary millions of XWF fans around the world will be seeing the bottom of them. Unfortunately, he didn't take me up on the opportunity. Maybe you can be smart enough to get paid a little bit for your loss. God knows Vinnie isn't going to pay you. Hell, I'm more active than you are and I haven't seen a paycheck in awhile. So how much is it going to cost to sponsor my twitter account on the bottoms of your boots?


Thunder Knuckles gets distracted and way off-topic.


Living in Ohio the best thing you can be is a fighting man if you're a fighting man you may as well be a multimillionaire. Every man wants his daughter to marry a fighting man. That's how it is because that's the only thing that matters. Our community settles their own disputes by fighting bare-knuckle, mano a mano, outside in the streets.


Jimmy tries to reel Thunder Knuckles back in.


I’m sure he’s going to challenge your mental toughness because you disappeared after Cunt Fest.

Well, mental toughness wise I'm better than anyone in the March Madness tournament. That goes for Maison Dyson, Atara, Big D, and Geri Miller, all of them. I sit back and watch these promos they put out and it's all shit. Pure fucking garbage. All of them are so robotic. Well like I did to Wylie Sinclare, fantastic guy, they're all going home with a fucking loss. Because 2020 is the year of ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. I’m going to climb my way through this fucking tournament with shit odds and I'm going to get my goddamn xbux back. Why? Because that's what I'm owed and I’m going to meticulously destroy anyone management puts in my fucking way. Sorry about your fucking luck Hanari Carnes. You're going to be put on the receiving end of an ass-whooping you shouldn't have to take. Blame management for your hospital bills, not me.

He is most likely going to attack why you fight too.

Why? Because I don't fight for fame and I don't fight for glory? Fuck that! I fight for xbux and I fight because I love it! Get the fuck outta here with that shit, Jimmy.

I want to take a look at Hanari Carnes last year here in XWF. Maybe you can learn a thing or two about him.

Fine, let's do it but since we're going to be on Savage. Seeing as Smoking Bob Williams still hasn't paid me the TWO THOUSAND xbux he owes me. Lets only do his Savage record.


Jimmy smiles.


Not like the three times, he was on Warfare. He didn't even win a match or anything.

It doesn't matter Jimmy. Hit me with the facts.

The facts are that Hanari Carnes is a former Television Champion…


Thunder Knuckles cuts him off.


How long and who’d he beat?

Twenty-one days and he beat Mastermind for it.


Thunder Knuckles makes a jerking off gesture to Jimmy.


And he lost it Force Gap-


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy.


His name is Big Dick Donovan.


Jimmy rubs his face, confused, not knowing why he got slapped.


But you-


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy again.


FINE! Christ… Anyway, Big Dick Donovan beat him for the Television title. Keep in mind that Hanari Carnes did not defend his title on one show. Instead, he had a celebration for winning the belt.

So, what your saying is he only defended his title twice and lost it on the second defense?

Correct.

Who’d he beat?


Jimmy smiles knowing that the answer is going to bring joy to Thunder Knuckles.

Jessalynn Hart.


Thunder Knuckles cracks up with tears streaming from his eyes.


Wait, wait, wait… his big title defense win was against Jessalynn Hart? I can snap that bitch in two not trying.


Thunder Knuckles wipes his eyes and tries to regain composure. Jimmy tries to change the topic.


Hanari Carnes is a former Tag Team Champion.

Bullshit!

No bullshit. Hanari Carnes and Steve Justice beat James Raven and Drew Archyle, “Apex” if you will. For the Tag Team gold.


Wait a second…


Thunder Knuckles makes an “okay” gesture which signals Todd to place a Steven P. Coolie ad into Thunder Knuckles promo.


What do insurance companies love? It’s money, in case you didn’t know. Making it and keeping it. That’s their job. Steven P. Coolies' job is to get workplace injury victims every dollar they deserve. Steven P. Coolie’s clients love that. Insurance companies do not. If you’ve been injured on the job, for your own good, inbox StevenPCoolie for a free consultation today! Steve P. Coolie will tread the legal waters and beat back the corporate sharks for you!


What? Quit doing that shit!

Never… People need to know! Anyway, Hanari Carnes was Tag Team Champion when I came into XWF.

That’s right.

Yeah, they lost the belts days after I debuted at Relentless.

Correct.

So how long did they dominate?


Jimmy gives Thunder Knuckles a crooked smile.


Fifteen whole ass days.


Thunder Knuckles doesn’t look surprised nor does he laugh.


Come on, I figured you’d get a kick out of that.

A thirty-six day Champion in XWF, Hanari Carnes.


Thunder Knuckles thinks really hard. Jimmy can see the smoke coming from his eyes and tries to help.


What are you thinking about Thunder Knuckles?

How long did I hold the XBUX Championship?

Forty-one days, I believe.

So it took Hanari Carnes all of 2019 to hold a belt in XWF thirty-six days. When it only took me months to hold a title longer than him.

One belt, longer than the two belts he held.

Yes.





Thunder Knuckles looks into the camera to address Hanari Carnes directly.


No matter how long our fucking match goes, Hanari Carnes. At no point in this match will you be comfortable. I promise you that because management has decided to put you in the ring with me. It’s going to be a long and brutal night for you come March fourteenth. I'm not going to crush your head in with the Thunder Strike. No, I'm going to take you to places you've never been to before. After all, management has decided to make this a Xtreme rules match. I’m going to slowly break you down. Fuck! I’ve already started. You don’t even know-how. How the fuck are you going to be prepared? Shoot your promos, lie to the XWF fans around the world. They’ll forgive you, but I won't every fucking word you say, you WILL pay for in blood. I can fucking promise you that. Put it on a statement. Print it on a shirt to make some money. Whatever the fuck you want to do. You're fucking dogshit just like the rest of the rasslers in this tournament. If you can’t beat Big Dick Donovan, you won't beat me. Plain and simple. So step aside so I can get on with this tournament.


Thunder Knuckles looks back at Jimmy who is smiling like a on bath salts.


So what’s this dog shit rassler’s Pay-Per-View record like?

He’s never won on Pay-Per-View.


Thunder Knuckles looks into the camera with a serious demeanor.


Dog shit.


Thunder Knuckles looks back at Jimmy who is again smiling widely.


Is there anything else I should know about this third world country, fuck?

Did you have to go with a third world country remark?

Well isn't third world when one United States dollars equals fifty-three whatever the fuck their money is called?

I think you don’t understand what that means.


Thunder Knuckles shrugs and enters a tone that we all know and love. That's the tone of a Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 campaign ad.

It seems like it is getting harder and harder to trust our elected officials. Between the scandals and inappropriate behavior that seems to have fallen on every President since Nixon. This election you're going to want to vote for Drezdin/Knuckles 2020. Drezdin tells it how it is. Always! Don’t believe me? Just check out one of his Bitch Conventions.


Thunder Knuckles turns his head to another camera and holds his hand to the side of his mouth so the original camera can't see.


That’s what we call Drezdin’s rallies, clever, right!


Thunder Knuckles winks into the camera and looks back at the original camera.


You can hear it in the pitch of his voice when you hear him at one of his Bitch Conventions. Strong. Upholding. Withstanding. As President Drezin is going to fix all our problems. He bitches for you bitches, and what could go wrong? We’re fucked anyway!

Join our campaign today and vote Drezdin/Knuckles 2020!

This ad has been paid for by the Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 campaign donors of America fund.


Thunder Knuckles exits vice-presidential tone and Jimmy chimes in.


Off-topic, but I wonder if Vinnie was testing you when he stole all your xbux? You know, to see what kind of character you had.


Thunder Knuckles looks pissed and physically it looks as though every muscle in his body is tightened.


If Vinnie stole my xbux to “test'' what kind of fucking character I have. I suppose he found out that if I can open my goddamn eyes. I can get up and when I get up I'm going to knock anyone he puts in my way fucking dead. To make it worse he puts this dumb fuck Hanari Carnes in a Xtreme rules match with me. Congratulations Vinnie you may have just killed a man on live television. You better have given Hanari Carnes a bigger budget on his promos because it’s the last ones he’ll ever do. I plan on killing this fool in the ring. Fuck this shit, Jimmy. Let’s go to the gym!

What?

Yeah, I want you to line up some sparring partners who can mimic fuck Hanari Carnes’s style.

Really?

Yeah, really I've got a few in mind I'll write it on a piece of paper and give them to you in a minute. You have to get them into the gym though.

Okay. What are you going to do in the meantime?

Well, I've been working out with some other trainers on grappling trying to refine my craft.


Jimmy is stunned. Is, Thunder Knuckles, really going to the gym working to improve his wrestling game?


Okay, so next week at XWF Gymnasium?

That’s the place.

Alright, I'll be there Thunder Knuckles. You can count on me!


Thunder Knuckles's eyes go wide.


Oh, fuck me watch out!


As Thunder Knuckles says “watch out” the light fixture from the ceiling fell onto the cameraman.


Jimmy! Check to see if he’s okay!


Thunder Knuckles's voice could be heard from under the rubble. Slowly the camera starts to be unburied to see a mortified and sickly looking Jimmy.


Fuck, Thunder Knuckles! He took a fluorescent tube to the jugular!

Not this shit again! Jesus, he ate the tuna!

Speaking of eating tuna. Hanari Carnes is the one who knocked Jim Jimson out of the tournament.

Fuck that obvious Mexican dude with an over-exaggerated Dominican accent, which is damn near racist as fuck. He’s going to get brutalized until I eventually knock him the fuck out. I'm not on Savage to play fucking games. I’m coming to fight and WIN.





Thunder Knuckles's voice could be heard one more time. Just as one of the two men turned off the camera.


This poor motherfuckin’ cameraman’s family should call Steven P. Coolie.