Thunder Knuckles is with Jimmy are in a grey Nissan Pathfinder picking up some things, the way only Thunder Knuckles can.


She won’t even see it coming cause you never wait until the last minute to put out a promo. Let alone two!

How long have you been thinking about this Jimmy?


Jimmy smiles.


Long enough.

Fair.

What do you have on her this time?

She’s pretty flawless, she only fights the rookies to make sure they know their place in XWF. Every once in a while she’ll be forced to fight Shock Nozzle. Due to booking but since you’ve been in this company, mostly rookies.

She’s about to realize that some of this talent coming in have their eyes on this prize.


Jimmy’s eyes light up with excitement because he believes Thunder Knuckles is going to start to buckle down and chase championships.


As far as I'm concerned Grandma Lemon Tits doesn’t get it, even though I thought she did. I’m just simply trying to make xbux. This bitch was like “Ain’t no ism like capitalism” please.

This promo goes out to all those who are trying to make xbux and let's be honest that's all of us. If you're not here for xbux you're in the wrong profession.

Grandma Lemon Tits knows she pulled all her resources just to be on SOTM, October 2019. Finding buried Nazi xbux from when the xbux was thriving with xbux payouts. She even stole xbux from the person she works for now Cory, Lux, The Engineer whatever his name is right now.

Anyone with half a brain knows this is a fad. He’s simply a computer virus that can be shut down with the greatest of ease and one day will. I don't care how many lazy old foxes jump over politically incorrect dogs.

Vita fucked that kid up if you ask me. Anyway…


Thunder Knuckles pulls up to the first stop. Todd’s auto body repair shop, which looks more like a late nineties chop shop than a legitimate business.


Jimmy, stay here I have to run in and grab something. If anyone comes up to your window just say you’re with me.

Okay, Thunder Knuckles.


Jimmy said nervously. Thunder Knuckles walks away from the car and the cameraman follows him.


So that was some pretty good tuna, huh, Cameraman?


The Cameraman shakes his head “no” as they enter Todd’s auto body shop's lobby. Thunder Knuckles walks up to the counter and rings the bell. Thunder KNuckles then yells out.


Hey, Todd! You greasy mother fucker! You owe me money or product mother fucker!


An older gentleman walks out from the shop floor.


Todd, you fuck! You got what I'm here for?


Todd holds out what looks like a green plastic-wrapped brick.


Thanks! Alright, I’ll be back next month for more.


Todd walks back to the shop floors and Thunder Knuckles exits back to the car. Once at the car Thunder Knuckles opens the trunk and puts the green plastic-wrapped brick in. Then he walks over to the driver's side door and gets into the driver's seat and waits for the cameraman to get into the back seat. When the cameraman shuts the door Thunder Knuckles takes off.


I can’t wait to hit Grandma Lemon Tits with that toolbox Jimmy. That non-paying bitch.

Well, you're going to get the chance to because your weapons match is soon!

We have to go to a bad part of town, fellas. So don't get freaked out.


Thunder Knuckles looks into the rearview mirror and looks at the cameraman.


Can you handle that cameraman?


The cameraman shakes his head “yes”. Then Thunder Knuckles looks back at the road.


Good, I'm glad I brought you along. Jimmy, tell me something I don't know.

Alright, watch out for Grandma Lemon Tits finisher, Dead Bitch Walking.

I said something I didn't know.

Well, your first promo was a little too convincing then because you know if you tried to lay down for her she’s have hit you with it to make a point.

You’re right, Jimmy. I didn’t think about that.

I know! So now you know, and you know what GI Joe used to say about that.


Thunder Knuckles thinks to himself and smiles.





Yeah, now Grandma Lemon Tits knows that ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles fulfills all his required promos. Because it’s my obligation to this company for my paycheck.


Thunder Knuckles rolls his eyes but remains paying attention to the road.


Even if I keep getting screwed left and right. Theo Pryce didn’t pay up fucking saying I didn’t agree to some terms or some shit. Blow me, NOW Grandma Lemon Tits thinks because she didn’t pay me she's getting some kind of twisted moral victory. She of all people should know that I'm going to fulfill my obligations for xbux. After all, she is the first person who was informed. I mean, Jesus Christ, it’s like how many times do I gotta tell you, people.

If Grandma Lemon Tits knew anything she should know that.


The two men are silent until the next stop. While on the way Thunder Knuckles notices a red minivan following them about five car lengths back. Thunder Knuckles remains calm and pulls up to what seems to be a trap house.


Okay, both of you stay here.


Thunder Knuckles gets out of the vehicle walks to the back and gets into the trunk of the car. Before opening the trunk Thunder Knuckles looks around for the red minivan he thought was following them. Thunder Knuckles grabs the green plastic-wrapped brick and walks up to the trap house where he’s met with to African American males. They dap up and go inside.


While Thunder Knuckles is inside I'm going to let you in on a little secret, XWF fans. You see, Thunder Knuckles has a big surprise for some lucky fan or roster member soon. I have to say, it’s going to change everything.

It’s probably a good thing Grandma Lemon Tits kept her money. Once she sees what Thunder Knuckles is going to do...

I'm sure she’ll want a piece of the action. Unfortunately, I can’t reveal what it is or Thunder Knuckles would break my arm.


The cameraman notices Thunder Knuckles exit the trap house with the green plastic brick that seems to look half as big. Thunder Knuckles approaches the trunk of the car to put the green plastic brick back in. Once he does this he gets back into the driver's seat starts the car and takes off. As they pull away Thunder Knuckles notices the red minivan pull out from a side street.


Alright, to the barbershop!

You're getting your haircut?

Fuck no! I’m going to pick something up! You can’t tame these luscious locks, mother fucker!


Thunder Knuckles turns the attention of the conversation to something else. Something more serious. He enters a concerned tone.


Jimmy, I'm going to quote the Declaration of Independence because it’s important.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It’s who we are, folks. We haven’t always lived up to these ideals. Definitely not under the current administration, who have honestly walked away from them.

In August 2017 we saw white supremacists come out in the open to show their hate baring teeth, their racism. During that time some very courageous American citizens protested them. Eventually, things turned violent and a young woman died.

When I heard the words of our president, the words that stunned this nation to its core.


Thunder Knuckles mockingly says.


“There are some very fine people on both sides”

Get the fuck outta here with that shit. With those words, our President said it’s just as okay to hate as those who dared have the courage to stand against it.

You know, the moment I heard that I knew the threat to this nation. With Drezdin running for President of the United States of America our core values will be restored.

After all, we're the country that gives hope to the most desperate people on earth. Our country guarantees everyone is treated with dignity and gives hate no safe harbor. No matter where you start in life there's nothing you can achieve if you work at it.

That’s what Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 believes and that's what's at stake in this election. We can’t forget what happened in August 2017. Most Importantly we have to remember who we are as Americans.


Thunder Knuckles exits his concerned tone.


That’s what I'm up against on Warfare, Jimmy. That’s why I can't lose this match.

Fuck! We're here follow me, cameraman. Jimmy, you should come along too. There might be too many bags for me to carry.


They exit the car and walk up to the barbershop doors. As soon as Thunder Knuckles opened the door you can smell cigar smoke and brandy. As the bell to the door rings the voice of Leroy the barber could be heard. Leroy is a skinny Mexican dude with tattoos covering his forearms.


Well if it isn’t Thunder Knuckles himself.

What’s up, Leroy? You simple fuck, you!


Thunder Knuckles walks up to Leroy and shows him some love by dapping up.


Not much, Homes. You here for that shit?


Thunder Knuckles nods and after Leroy gets the confirmation he walks them to the back office where eight black duffle bags and sitting. Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy grab up all the bags and head out the door. As they head out Leroy could be heard saying.


Be safe, Essay.


After they exit the barbershop they head back to the Pathfather. They put the bags into the trunk and walk to their respective doors and get in the vehicle. Once inside and the engine starts Thunder Knuckles peels off.


Alright to the strip mall.


Thunder Knuckles looks into the rearview mirror and notices that red minivan again, but he keeps calm and continues to drive.


Thunder Knuckles I really think you need to talk a little smack about Grandma Lemon Tits. Like you did Fuzz when you tried to steal Christmas.


Thunder Knuckles looks irritated.


What do you want me to say, Jimmy?

I don’t know just something off the top of your head. What are you going to do to Grandma Lemon Tits?

Fine.


Thunder Knuckles takes a deep breath.


I’m going to punch that bitch straight in her mouth when we get in the ring. Let’s see if she talks that shit when I’m right in her face. I think Grandma Lemon Tits is a shithouse ‘rassler.

I mean, it says a lot coming from me. I don’t live a strict lifestyle. Hell, I don’t live an athlete's lifestyle. In fact, calling me an athlete is a disgrace.


Thunder Knuckles pulls into the strip mall parking lot. He pulls into a parking spot and they all three get out of the car. Once out Thunder Knuckles continues to talk shit.


Do you want to see what the man who beats you on Warfare looks like, Grandma Lemon Tits?


Thunder Knuckles takes off his shirt. His belly is sticking out and he’s rubbing it.


Here! Have a look.


Thunder Knuckles turns around to show the cameraman his back.


See these love handles?


Thunder Knuckles turns back to face the cameraman and puts back on his shirt.


Look, I’m a fat man. When the match is over. I can look at her and say.

Shame on you!

Shame on you for losing to this fat man. Honestly, when you lose Grandma Lemon Tits it shows that’s all a “professional” can do.

What’s the point of practicing your job for forty years or however the fuck long you've been doing it. When a fat man got off his couch and beat you on Warfare?

Fat as a pig and I’m going to beat her on Warfare! How’s that, Jimmy?


After Thunder Knuckles monologue the red minivan pulls up with police lights strobing.


Ah, fuck! Jimmy, call Steven P. Coolie!

Don’t move! Put your hands up and get on your knees.


The police officer said with his gun drawn from the time he got out of his car.


Officer, what seems to be the problem?

We had a call saying they saw this car delivering drugs and picking up bags of money.


Thunder Knuckles smiles and says…


Search the car then, Pig.


The officer handcuffs Jimmy and Thunder Knuckles while the cameraman still films. The offer calls for backup to search the car. Once the other officers get there. They start searching the car while the cameraman follows them around. The grab the black duffle back and put them on the ground in the parking lot. They open the bags and they find nothing but clothes. Thunder Knuckles smiles at the cops just like a snot-nosed brat would. When they know they're going to get away with it. The police find the green plastic-wrapped brick.


What do we have here!


Thunder Knuckles puts his head down in defeat.


Goddamnit...


Thunder Knuckles said disappointedly. The cop smiles and pulls out a knife and cuts it open. Thunder Knuckles looks up and smiles.


Goddamnit! You're going to ruin my pulled pork mother fuckers? Can you see we’re in front of a fucking Salvation Army?! That's where the duffle bags are going and I've been dropping off pulled pork to my friends. Yeah, black people, mother fuckers! Deal with it! You law dog mother fuckers thought you were catching some outlaw mother fuckers doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Goes to show you bitches that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

Now, uncuff me, you fucking big balled pricks! You will hear from my lawyer!


The police officers uncuff Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy.


You're free to go.

No shit! You fucking dick head.


The police leave. Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy grab up the bags. Together they head into the Salvation Army to drop off clothes.


Well, anything else you wanna say to Grandma Lemon Tits?

Yeah, I've always been told I won't last that long. That the journey that I'm on is a dead-end road. Well, since I can remember I’ve held my own. I'm still here and I prove you all wrong, every time my promos come on.


Thunder Knuckles looks into the camera.


Before I end my promo.

If you need legal help call Steven P. Coolie and the law offices of Steven P Coolie at 1-888-382-5968 or inbox StevenPCoolie. Remember He represents the common folks, XWF fans, and talent alike. Against these big organizations, these billionaire mother fuckers, and they're evil henchmen.

Yeah, I'm talking about you Vinnie Lane and Theo Pryce.

Anyway, Steven P. Coolie is on our side, he’s one of us, and he can be retained by YOU for a reasonable price.


Thunder Knuckles smiles and gives a very wooden thumbs up as the scene fades to black.