Thunder Knuckles is wearing a white polar bear fur coat, shirtless underneath, and cut off jean shorts. He walks up to a podium with a gavel in one hand and an ice-cold Coors in the other.


If your thinking “WOW!” this auction is early you're absolutely correct!

I have a responsibility, no obligation, to get this fantastic opportunity out in front of my potential buyers.

Someone selling a number one contender’s spot a second time is UNPRECEDENTED!

You should know by now that ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles means business. I'm going to continue to do the hard work, so you don’t have to.

Bringing you the best quality matches for your hard-earned xbux. YOU could be the next champion!

Thunder Knuckles Auctions inc. is proud to present a number one contender’s spot for the Television Title up for bid. Today we will start the bidding off at THIRTY THOUSAND xbux. I promise you, I will walk over and slap whoever starts lower than that.

This auction isn’t accepting any other currency or trades. So, don’t be coming in here talking about “I got a to give ya.” or “I got a dollar. he-yuck-yuck.”.

Who REALLY thinks they can become champion. This auction ends on December 5th at midnight the highest bidder wins! The winning bidder has twenty-four hours to pay to receive their shot at the Television Champion.

Good Luck and have fun...This auction begins…

NOW!


Thunder Knuckles cracks the gavel off the podium to signifying the beginning of the auction.


By the way, This is completely legal. No need to ask questions.

You haven't even won it yet you stupid asshole!

Nonetheless, I'm sure the lead paint chip eaters will be lining up around the block to get fleeced!

Thunder Knuckles walks up to Madison Dyson and slaps her in the face. He calmly walks back up to the podium.

If the opportunity isn't available, it obviously can't be sold and this auction will be invalid...moving on.

I'll put 30.1k down, but only on the T.V title shot you earn in the year 9576, to go along with my SOTM

7x Heavymetalweight champin
1x Federweight champion

XWF record
8-12    

Universal record 13-24  

The relatives of Jim Jimson
Jimmy Jimson
Jim Johnson
James Jimson
J. Jonah Jimson
Jimmy Jimmy
Jimbo Jimson
Jimbo Baggins
Jackenhoffer Jiminez
Jimmy Jimmerson
Jim Jimbo
James (Jim) J. Jimson
Jim Jimseruno
Jim Jackstiener
Jericho
Jimmy Jim
Jim of the Nine Eastern Stars of Terrafourn
Jim Jaghofferson
Jimbo
Jim "James 'Jim' Jimson" Jimson
Jimmy Jimbo Jimbob
Pinecone Jimson
Jimdick Jagoffboy
James Jimson
Jim Jimpin
John Jameson
Jim McJimbiongbong
Jim Jimjimjimjimjimjimjimjim
Jiminson
Jimothy
Big Daddy Meat Jimson
Tiny Daddy Meat Jimson
Jim Jopson
Jimbo Jimmy Jam
Jimbo Jimsmith (formerly a Doctor)
Jim Jimmy the Jim Jimmerson
Jim Jimpegmyassrawohbabyohbabyohbaby
Jimmy Jim Jimmer Jimbosen Jiminez the dolphin rapper
Jim Jim Jim Jimson Son Son
Jim Jon Un
Tangy Tangerine
Animal Jim
Jimbo Jimson Chang
Jimbo Jimson the Chang
Jimbo Jimson Jang





Hey


















You wanna see my cool new banner




















Well.....























Here it is















What... you don't like it
























Well I tried my best you fucking piece of shit you don't have to make fun of it you little bitch



































You thought something was down here huh. Well, you must be pretty dumb. Maybe you should go check-up in the text for the pins









































During all Business Enquires please refer to Mr. Jimson as "Small Daddy Meat Jimson" to assure business professionalism.












oh wait

























they got rid of the Heavymetalweight championship because appartenly they hate fun at XWF headquaters smh shaking my head rn

Thunder Knuckles grabs a notebook.

30.1k down for Jim Jimson, Television Title shot in 9576...Would you like to pay that today, sir?

"40,400 dollars from me, Ezra Blackwater."

45,000 AND I will hand you the title one hour after winning it.

Twenty bucks!

Thunder Knuckles walks up to Vinnie Lane...Looks at him and says...


He-yuck-yuck


Thunder Knuckles then slaps Vinnie Lane in the face. Thunder Knuckles, as if nothing happened, walks back to the podium.


FORTY FIVE THOUSAND to Robbie Bourbon is the highest bidder currently.

"This auction is pointless... Of course Scully is going to win
..

If NOT, we riot! Or just me!"

Thunder Knuckles rolls his eyes...Instead of slapping Scully...Thunder Knuckles has plenty of time to do that on December first. Thunder Knuckles explains to Scully.

You can always place a bid Scully. So what if you dont win...You could still have a chance at the Television Title.

"Nah.... Thanks for the offer, however I am that confident I'll be victorious...

I bet you ALL my Xbux that you DON'T win?"

Thunder Knuckles gives Scully a thumbs up.


That is confident...Seeing as you didn't ask anything of me...I'll take your bet. Only hours away from two paychecks everybody!

Auction canceled.

Thanks for participating and hopefully soon Thunder Knuckles auction inc. can bring to you a quality match for your xbux.