11/02/2019 Just after Savage went off the air.

I'm loading my bags into the trunk of the car. Well, my bags and a case of Amjetkun’s unbranded protein shakes. What? They’re REALLY tasty AND good for you. Besides, I could stand to put on some muscle, (nearly) everyone here is so much bigger than me! Besides, Amjetkun totally said that I could help myself since I was kind enough to allow him to stay with me for a couple of weeks. Anyway, yeah, loading up my stuff as I prepare to depart. That’s when I hear his voice cut through the silence.


”Hey cunt!”


OMG, the sound of Noah’s deep masculan voice sends a tingle down my uh… Spine. Yeah, and I can’t help but run up to him and give a big hug and a kiss. He pulls away from me when I try to kiss him of course. He’s so worried about what people would think about him dating a seventeen year old. I guess we’re still “just friends” for a few more days.


”What are you doing out here, and who’s car is that?” He asks as he basically breaks his neck to look around me and scope out the vehicle.


”I’m just loading up my stuff. I’m going on a road trip!”


Noah leads me back towards the trunk as he moves in to investigate further.


”A road trip? If you wanted to take a road trip, who didn’t you ask me? I could ask dad to drive us wherever.”


VV smiles as she wraps her arms around him again, this time resting her head on his chest.


”I’d love to take a road trip with you.”


She pulls her head away from his chest and looks up to him.


”But this is purely business.”


Noah seems confused by that answer, but more importantly, at least for the moment, he notices the case of protein powder that she loaded in the car that's only labeled by a piece of masking tape with “Socio” written across it.


”Yo, what is that shit?!”


VV is caught off guard by the anger in his voice. She glances to the trunk where Noah is pointing and just giggles, which Noah doesn’t seem to appreciate.


”For real cunt, what are you doing with that crap?”


VV just smiles playfully as she rest her chin on his chest and looks up to him.


”It’s soooo good. You wanna try one before I go?”


”What?! No way! I want you to throw that crap out! You have no idea what that steroid cunt puts in that crap, you’re smarter than this VV!


Vita pushes herself back from Noah and tries to plead her case.


”Relax, he promised that he didn’t add anything to it. It’s literally just a banana flavored protein powder.”


Noah reaches into the trunk and helps himself to one of the plastic containers. He removes the lid and peaks inside to indeed find it filled with a yellowish powder. He digs through it with his index finger as Vita watches on helplessly.


”I told you, it’s just a protein powder!”


Suddenly Noah strikes gold, or shit, depending on your stance. He pulls a piece of a broken pill out of the powder.


”See cunt!” He exclaims as he pulls the broken pill out and shoves it into her face.


”See!? Didn’t your parents ever teach you not to take candy from strangers?”


The comment upsets VV, but only because she’s technically still a kid (for a few more days anyway) and it’s rather insulting. Of course that’s just Noah’s way of making a point. Kill’em with feel bads, it really drives the point home.


”Okay, okay, fine! I’ll toss it out!”


Noah throws the one that he’s holding over his shoulder and waits for the satisfying sound of it hitting the trash cash.


”Good, because I’m not trying to date Maxine!”


And of course the word dating makes VV’s eyes light up, but before she can pounce on him for saying it, another familiar voice calls out.


”What are you two lovebirds doing?”


Noah’s shoulders instantly slump as he turns to see Fuzz walking in our direction.


”JUST FRIENDS DAD!”


Fuzz of course no sells him.


”Yeah sure, I forgot. So, what are you two doing? The car’s over there.”


Fuzz points behind him to the general direction.


”Well apparently Vita is taking a road trip with someone and was probably going to overdose on steroids before I came over and saved her like the valiant gentlemanly cunt that I am!”


Fuzz was only really half listening there, so he responds with.


”Well are you guys ready to go?”


”You guys go ahead and take off. I’m going to wait here for my ride.”


”That reminds me, whose whip is this anyway?”


”My tag partner, duh!”


A sigh of relief from Noah.


”Oh yeah, I forgot that Jessilyn was back! Look at you helping your friend fit back into the road schedule, and people say you’re a bitch!?” Noah chuckles at the thought.


”Um, maybe it’s not my place, but that’s not Jessilyn’s car, it’s Big Shanks.”


A fiery rage ignites in the eyes of Noah. One that burns hotter than a thousand suns.


”Did you just lie to me cunt?”


”What? NO! I said my tag partner, you just assumed it was Jessilyn Hart!”


”She’s right Noah, and we really didn’t give her a chance to correct you.”


Noah realizes that dad’s right. He takes a deep breath before calmly continuing.


”I’m not sure how I feel about you going out on the road with that guy, what if he tries to take advantage?”


”I know Shank pretty well Noah, I doubt you have anything to worry about there.”


”Oh, so he’s gay then?”


”I didn’t say that!”


”You said that I don’t have to worry about him trying something with VV, so I assumed he must be one of those gay cunts.”


”Okay, calm down. You don’t have to worry about Big Shank trying anything.” VV places the palms of her hands on Noah’s chest as she moves in close. ”I just want the two of us to get to know each other so that we can properly work as a tag team. Besides, we’ll meet up with you and Fuzz in a few days for Warfare.” She leans in and kisses his cheek.


”Okay, fair enough I guess, but I swear, if that cunt tries anything…”


”I’m sure it will be fine. Fuzz looks to VV. ”Make sure you use this time to pick Shanks brain. There’s a lot of knowledge up there if you’re willing to listen.”


VV nods to Fuzz before looking back to Noah.


”I’ll see you at Warfare, and afterwards.” VV pushes in and once again kisses Noah, this time on the lips. Surprisingly, he doesn’t fight her at all, even with Dad watching on.


”Alright…” Fuzz takes noah by the arm and begins to drag him away. ”I’d like to get something to eat before everything’s closed, so let’s go!”

PROMO

”It’s funny, when I was paired up with Amjetkun, I was super annoyed. Prior to that, I had only bumped into him once, and he instantly came off as a crude, brainless, goober. I didn’t want to breathe the same air as that idiot, much less have to rely on him, but ya know what? After he pretty much forced me to spend a couple of weeks living and training with him, I grew to… Well I grew to tolerate him, but that’s really all it took for us to work together and defeat the team of The Tristan Slater and Jimmy Jimmerson. Well, that and the fact that I’m a proven tag team specialist and was able to impart enough of my knowledge on him to at least make him a passable partner. Sarah and Kenzie are lucky that I don’t grab up some rando and come take the Tag Team championships, just like I took the Anarchy title from Sarah last month. Then again, do I really want to deal with Sarah’s jealous ass making up more fake titles in some lame attempt to discredit me again? No, I think I’m good for now, besides, The Sickest Cunts are totally going to win those titles, and I’m going to be there to film it just to ensure that what happened to me doesn’t happen to them!”


“Instead, I’m going to put my tag team experience to use once again and help The Big Shank move on to the next round. Not that he needs it. Did you all see the way that he carried “The Hammer” in the last round? It was a magnificent display of why The Big Shank is the most legitimate legend in the XWF this side of Fuzz! But that act of lugging deadweight across the finish line was nothing compared to the miracle that Ruby pulled off when she carried Peter Gilmour to a victory over “The Hardest Worker” in the XWF and my “good friend” Noah Jackson. Mind you, neither one of them actually beat Noah, but instead Ruby pinned his limp dicked waste of space partner “Jelly Face”. Still, bravo to Ruby for digging deep and pulling off the victory against all odds, because even without the extra weight, Gilly’s a heavy dude to carry. Or so I’ve been told anyway.”


“The fact of the matter is this guys, Kris Von Bonn has proven time and again that he’s not ready for the big leagues. He couldn’t win at Warfare in his debut match. Instead, he allowed Thunder Knuckles to sit by and watch as the rest of those dumbasses, Von Bonn included, beat the hell out of each other, and then let TK whisp that match right away from all of them in the final seconds. I mean, how stupid do you have to be to fall for someone playing possum? That’s like some 101 type shit and Von Bonn not only ate it up hook line and sinker, but the dummy then went on the bitch and moan about it like calling attention to the fact that you fell for the oldest trick in the book doesn’t instantly make him look like the worlds biggest goober!”


“And it’s fine at this point right? I mean, the only thing he has working against him is a simple loss, you can easily come back from a loss… Well, unless you’re a petty bitch who has to pretend to outswim helicopters to make yourself feel better, but yeah, most people bounce back from a loss pretty quickly. I mean, I don’t know about everyone else, but on the rare occasion that I find myself taking an L, I know it lights a fire under me to come back stronger in my next match and prove that the previous blemish on my record was nothing more than a margin of error fluke. So what does Chris Von Bon do? He comes out the gate with such a limp wristed promo, that even his own partner was calling him out for his lack of desire! You’d think that would light the fire though right? I mean, you’re own partner calling you out on the fact that you seem so unmotivated that you’re possibly going to cost you guys the match? It didn’t though. Somehow this dweeb found a way to film an even worse, more boring, more mind numbingly pointless promo, and then even went into the match looking like he’s rather be backstage stroking his hammer. Thank god for Shank though, otherwise I might have been team up with Tommy Wish this round. EWW!”


“Then you’ve got his partner for this round, Peter Gilmour, a guy who in the past, I’ve tried to give the respect he deserves, but he’s too dense to get it and always seems to think everything is a knock against him. Well, your entire career is a knock against the XWF and it’s fans. You love to refer to yourself as a legend and try to play up the fact that that you’re a big deal, and you are, but honestly Pete, even you have to realize that your name is legendary for all of the wrong reasons? Sure, you have a championship list that rivals even those of a lot of the Top 50 of all time, but the fact is that for as long as you’ve been active in the XWF, if you were really any good, that list of accomplishments would be about 10 times longer. Now I’m not saying that you’re a complete wash in the ring, because you’re not Pete, you’re just a perfectly average talent with a larger than life personality. Unfortunately barking “suck my dick” at everyone he sees isn’t going to win any matches. Good thing that the lucky bastard always seems to find himself in the right place at the right time. I mean, let’s be real here, when your final day in the ring passes, and you ride off into the sunset muttering for everyone to “Suck My Dick” one last time, the only real legacy that you’ll leave behind is a reputation for being the guy who always seemed to earn the bulk of his title shots at the exact moment that a champion was primed and ready to proverbially shit the bed. Hey, I’m not knocking it either. Good on you for building a career on chance and luck, but unfortunately you’re about to find yourselves standing across the ring against two thoroughbreds, and neither of you can rely on the other to carry the dead weight.”


“Big Shank is a proven commodity, a true champion that knows how to get the job done with all caliber of opponent. Much like myself, he doesn’t need to rely on easy matches, favorable circumstances, or partners that are are willing and able to carry the extra load. So what does that mean for the two of you? Well, it simply means that you should probably just go ahead and cozy up to the idea that this match is going to be the end of the line for you guys as far as Lethal Lottery is concerned. Honestly, if you two can seriously see yourselves standing any chance of advancing, then your heads are more dense than that stupid hammer that Von Bonn is always carrying around.”


VV starts to close the trunk of the car when she hesitates. She looks down to the protein powder that she promised to throw out.


”Eh, one more couldn’t hurt, right?”


VV takes one of the containers out of the trunk before closing it.


”Now I just need some water…”