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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Sell Out
Author Message
Noah Jackson Offline
Very Serious Wrestler



XWF FanBase:
Hardly anyone to be honest

(booed by most fans; hurts people even when not supposed to; often angry and shitty)


#1
07-05-2019, 02:55 PM

SELL OUT

You ever have one of those internal debates with yourself? Like you're in the shower washing your bits and having an argument in ya head with that snarky cunt at Coles, no cunt that was my water and you put it in your fucking bag by mistake! Now I have to go walk all the way back and get another for your stupidity holding up the line and shit and getting dirty looks cast upon me, you big dumb bitch! But instead in the actual situation, you copped out like a cuck and said nothing because you were twelve years old and didn't want to cause a fuss? You know shit like that?

Well, cunts.

The speech I have been thinking about in my head aimed at Vinnie Lane has been a fucking beaut. I was soaping up my jubblies and planning the whole scene in my head, bust into the cunts office. Tell him I'm tired of his bullshit and demand I be respected, then proceed to pencil in our match for control of Anarchy whereafter I show off the gun show and moonwalk out that cunt.

...

Y'know what the fucking worst feeling is?


"Noah! Good day dude!"

He says behind his fancy desk as I have a hand on the chair opposite him. I just stare blankly at him, my dope speech leaving my head.

"G'day Vin."

"Take a seat, dude, I've got some tubular news."

I slowly take a seat with a raised eyebrow.

"Dude, the fans eat up your last promo, the whole is it a shoot kinda thing, totally radical."

"Yeah I'm pretty sick, cunt."

"Woah dude, yeah! But yeah, you got the ratings up a touch and you've been offered to a commercial for your own cereal! Righteous, yeah!?"

Lane scrambles around in a drawer as I scoff, scoff like a cunt!

*Scoff* "Lane, you cunt, I'm not selling out and being your fucking puppet! I'm Noah fucking Jackson! I'm the wrench in the machine! I'm going to kick the shit of Ruby, then Lack-o and take Anarchy from your tiny, delicate hands you fucking cu-"

I stop mid-sentence as Lane slides a cheque across to me and relaxes in his chair. I look dumbfounded at the number of zeroes, then back to Vin, then to the cheque...




The scene opens up to an empty kitchen, two children run-in, one young girl in a full Ruby super suit and a boy with glasses on wearing a generic XWF t-shirt. The girl giggles as she gets to the table.


GIRL: "Let's have some nutritious and delicious Ruby-Os!"

She says as she places the box on the table.

BOY: "Nah! Those are lame and gave me dysentery! Let's have!!"

CUNT-
OH'S!

[Image: tJf35qP.png?1]

The boy throws the box on the table and the two cheer! They pour the cereal into the bowl.

GIRL: "WOAH! Look at those WACKY colors!"

BOY: "Yeah! There's strawberry, blueberry, raspberry and shrimp! And Cunt-Oh's are one of your five a day!"

The girl pours in the milk.

GIRL: "WOW! And it turns the milk into Vegemite!"

BOY: "Look how dense it is!"

"Get your greasy claws off my Cunt-Oh's you specky little cunt!"

I bust onto the scene and backhand little shit, grabbing the box of Cunt-Oh's!

"Gotta have me some Cunt-Oh's, cunt!"

I look to the camera.

"Unlike some inferior cereals (Ruby-Os cunt) my cereal has ZERO empty calories and won't leave you dissatisfied and longing for decent content... I mean brekkie. There is enough sugar in these cunts to make a fucking walrus diabetic and THAT is a Noah Jay guarantee!"

I give a smile and my white teeth gleam as I give a thumbs up.

"My Cunt-Oh's are top mate, they will make you sick both metaphorically and literally because these should not be on shelves, like fuck cunt, they are just unsafe for children BUT they're a great and tasty replacement for whey-gain products."

GIRL: "Mister Jackson, I don't feel too good."

"Ah shit, get some reps in and you'll feel gnarly, cunt. Anyway, my Cunt-Oh's have real meat in them too! None of that vegan bullshit. You also get fucking no prizes in the box; wake up you little cunts! You're not going to get rewarded for waking up and eating a fucking meal! Now back to fucking Ruby."

DIRECTOR: "Noah this is a commercial, please stick to the script!"

I point.

"Sit down you fucking cunt! ... Anyway, Ruby managed to cheat her way past me the first time we met but this time when she's running in circles like a fucking dog with one set of legs shorter than the other, she has no fucking chance! I'm smarter, I'm stronger and I actually have momentum behind me, unlike that cunt that's running a fucking clip show every two weeks. Oh, what the fuck will she do? Jump and say a catchphrase!? Fuck off cunt, you're meant to be a wrestler, not a fucking toy commercial. I'm Noah fucking Jackson! The hardest worker in the XWF promoting Cunt-Oh's, the hardest worker in the bowels! Meanwhile, your cardboard cutout looking ass is shilling bullshit to brainwash mindless cunts into thinking you're a competent competitor and at Anarchy I'll fuck off your evil, cheating ways and send you back to the garbage just like I sent back your disgusting cereal! Stupid fucking cunt."

"Cunt-Oh's! Theeeeyyyy'reee edible!"


I lift up the box with a smile as the small girl passes out.

"Now, to help me promote this shit more, here's my favourite wrestler and dad, Fuzz, here to try some! Come on out, dad!"

I wait for a minute until something is said off-screen.

"What do you mean he fucking retired!? Oh fuck this stupid shit, I gotta find dad!"

I toss the cereal and the scene fades to black.

[Image: iwofq6s.png]
FORMER:
[Image: OZdvB4F.png]
[Image: l6KRzu8.png]

W | L | D
226 | 11 | 81

Star of the Month (August 2019)
1/3 Star of the Month (January 2020) with Fuzz and our Subaru
RP of the Month (November 2019) with Big Disappointment
Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)
Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)
Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020
Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022
Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)
Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason
Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)
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[-] The following 5 users Like Noah Jackson's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (07-09-2019), Corey Smith (07-05-2019), Darius Xavier (07-05-2019), Ned Kaye (07-05-2019), The Brothers Blackwater (07-07-2019)




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