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Hanari Carnes · **02-01-2019, 09:59 PM**

Hanari was sitting on his villa terrace, a wrapped cigar on the table next to him and a mixed drink in hand. Still in his dress clothes, his normal attire, he was on the phone with someone. The villa overlooked the ocean, it clearly wasn't in Montana.

On the phone was Hanari's publicist, a friend of his from back home who Hanari hired to handle his marketing since coming to the states. Hanari set the phone down, put it on speaker, and began to fiddle with the packaging on the cigar.

The following dialogue is in Spanish, this is the translation:

".......Hanari, you really flubbed this one, man. Australia, I mean, anyone who has ever watched XWF could tell you that Mastermind is from New Zealand. You're gonna look stupid on this one, Hanari. People are going to be talking about this for weeks....."

Hanari got the cigar out of the package and cut the back. Lighting it with matches from the lobby of the villa that he got at the front desk, he took a puff...

".....months maybe even. And he didn't miss a beat, he called you out on it. He really hit you good here, man."

Hanari took another puff and sipped his drink.

"Matías.....I can look at the ocean all day, and its never the same as back home. The water is too dark here, it doesn't have that baby blue look that the Caribbean has, ya know?"

"Hanari are you even listening to me? This a major thing."

Hanari takes another puff.

"How many times have people bunched us into the same category as Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Hati, the Bahamas? I mean, shit, we don't even own our whole island. Maybe I was wrong to bunch them together like everyone does to us, but I think that only people with small, simple minds, will really care."

"........you are dealing with American's here, Hanari."

"......My point, Matías. Mastermind tries to play games, to make people feel uncomfortable in their own skin, to make himself look smarter than everyone else. This is the same dude who said he knows nothing about me, then suddenly knows my entire emotional chemistry based on one phone call. The guy is a fraud, Matías, like Ms. Cleo. He uses intimidation and calls it knowledge. I am not afraid of him, and I really think you are making a big deal out of this over nothing."

".....I am just looking out for you from a public relations standpoint, and as a friend."

"I guess that is what I pay you for, isn't it?"

"Correct."

"I would drop it, man. There are bigger fish to fry. I am going to be a champion in my second ever match. I am going to win the hearts of not just these people, but the entire globe. I am going to have my name in the record books as the one who finally mastered Mastermind's little riddle.......and not only that, but imagine the pussy I am going to land?"

"Is that all you ever think about?"

".....and speaking of that, did you see the woman he tried to show me? Ms. Universe from his country. If THAT is the representation of his homeland, no wonder the dude is miserable! I wouldn't fuck her with your dick!"

".....she won for a reason."

"In 1983. I mean it looks like a mop got date-raped on her head! And....and.....oh, this is cute......he said that she, SHE, "outranks my Dominican Chico!"

"You're point?"

"CHICO IS A GUY! It's CHICA. Talk about being super smart, you'd think this all knowing asshole would know the basics of the most spoken language on the PLANET."

"Maybe he did it on purpose to diss her, like, you know, calling her a guy...."

"He did it because he is an idiot. He did it because he likes to talk down to people and pump himself up. He did it while telling me how stupid I was.......Hanari isn't dumb. Mistake or no mistake, this dude talks like he never makes mistakes. Exhibit A as to why he's not a master of anything except being an asshole."

"Alright. Alright. Fine. But I have prepared some marketing for you for the opening video for Savage. You're gonna be in the main event, as you know, so clips from your win over Blackwater will be shown."

"Good. Anything else?"

"That about sums it up."

"Hey, before you leave....what are your thoughts on Kiwi's?"

"They're disgusting."

"Ditto. Okay, well thank you Matías. I'll be speaking with you soon to get my promo video for my first title defense done."

"Godspeed Hanari."

"Long Live The Dominican."

“If your dream ain't bigger than you, there's a problem with your dream.”

On The Eve of the Biggest Night of his Life, Hanari Is Calm, Cool, Collected, and smiling ear to ear.

"How man times, señor Mind, are chu gon' tell us about ya early career? We get it. Chu sucked, now chu is good. Chu have driven dat point home, and for some reason chu want to keep stressin' it. It almost seem, to Hanari an'way, tha chu need to validate choself to everyone. It almos' seem like chu es nervous about Hanari and nervous about losin' ya little belt. If Hanari didn't know any betta, it would seem like señor Mind is........

Scared?

Sí, scared. ¿Por qué? 'Cuz chu have neva had someone like Hanari staring chu down, mang. Chu have neva had someone who chu know es a real threat across from ya, eva since chu won the belt it has been one perdedor--loser in Ingles--after another. Nobody en the TV division can handle chu, until now. But Hanari didn't come to XWF for counseling, and he didn't come fo' life lessons, mang. He came to win matches, win titles, and put the Dominican on tha map, chico! An' tha es exactly what Hanari is gon' do! So, take ya record, and savor it. Frame it. Screenshot it, mang. Chu is about to make history.......

But Sí, señor Mind, chu es right, Hanari need to do some work also. Open mouth, put in foot, right? Hanari gets it, and Hanari es sorry that he was givin' you credit for bein' from a real country that mi gente has actually heard of. Won't happen again, chico! The Dominican is a country people often overlook too......don't feel bad!

And since chu want to keep reciting' records, mang, let Hanari set the record straight. Hanari neva said chu quit, or gave up, or threw in da white flag mang. Hanari simply said ya priorities wasn't where dey needed to be for some time. Notice what happen when chu come back focused? Chu win a belt and go on a long streak. Focus, mi amigo, focus. And Hanari es more focus'd than anyone chu have eva faced. Bet a paycheck on it, mang.

And since chu wanna quote Hanari promo's and play back tha clips, chico, Hanari gon' do tha same. Chu said that Hanari cannot be the only wrestler in da world that wins and does not lose.

Really?

Es that the big revalation compañero? Chu said chu was smart.....but that was the mos' obvious think chu eva said. Hanari know that some losses probably will come along da way. Sí, nobody es perfect. BUT.....not dis week. Not on dis stage, under dem lights. No, no, chico. Dis is Hanari time. Chu have been so dominant for so long mang, chu is do for a slip up. You not focused, chu is sleeping on Hanari like a Serta, and Hanari about to wake that culo up! Chu talk like Hanari mus' be estúpido, talk down to mi like Hanari came to dis country on a floating door, mang. No, Hanari es well established. Hanari knows how to get around, to get by, and how to survive. Hanari es no estúpido, but if that es how chu talk to Hanari, imagine how chu wrestle against him, mang. Chu is due for a slip up, señor Mind, and dis slip up will come at the worst time for chu!

Chu has foun' that experience mang? Agains' who? Chu has fought nobodies time and time again. Hanari is one to give credit where credit is due, and Hanari feels blessed to be here, but les' be honest wit each other, chu haven't face top competition in a very long time. Peter Gilmour es the best chu have faced in a while, and Hanari has seen monkey's wit down syndrom that could beat up señor Gilmour. Chu may be able to see into people' minds, but obviously can no look in a mirror without lyin' to ya self, mang. Chu know chu has faced less than' top competition......but chu seem like a guy who like to recite stats....so les do that eh?

Oh wait, mang, what about all that bull spit chu was talking abou' lookin up facts......

MATCH #76:
WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE - 10TH JUNE 2015
vs MAXWELL DANE
Lost to Maxwell Dane - Loss #43:
MATCH #75:
WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE - 3RD JUNE 2015
vs THE HOODED MAN
Lost to the Hooded Man via Countout - Loss #42:
MATCH #74:
MONDAY NIGHT MADNESS - 2ND JUNE 2015
vs AERIAL KNIGHT
Lost to Aerial Knight - Loss #41:
MATCH #73:
6TH PAY PER VIEW APPEARANCE IN THE XWF
BAD MEDICINE PAY PER VIEW - FRIDAY 22ND MAY 2015
SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH
TEAM GILMOUR - Peter Gilmour, Ray Tings, and Ghost Tank vs TEAM MASTERMIND - Mastermind, Yellow Sword and Rellik
Team Gilmour Won by pinning Rellik - Loss #40

The most recent match chu have listed on ya backstage page is from 2015, mang. 4 years. Chu want to talk about doing homework and lookin' up shit about chu? Big words from someone who doesn't update their shit. Chu would think that chu would cover some bases before the big talk comes......but Hanari realizes something......chu have been putting all ya efforts into "Mastering" everyone else.......chu have let yaself slip.

Sloppy, mang. No a good look. Is chu even from New Zealand or have chu moved and that is outdated also? Mi guess that when someone with a LOSING RECORD all time talks tough, there is something they are hiding. All da chest puffin chu do, the talking' down, and chu have holes that any average joe can find.

Sloppy, mang, jus' sloppy.

Chu es clearly unprepared. Hanari has seen your type before, chico. A bully, plain an' simple. Big talk, and until tomorrow night, big game. Chu right, every' one is destined to lose and at Savage, dat es ya destiny, ooookkkkay? Chu jus' betta accept it.

Hanari es gon' break ya arm, and before it was jus' because that was what needed to be done to win.....now, Hanari WANTS to do it. Hanari wants to submit you, señor Mind, because Hanari has neva been a big fan of bullies.

Like da super hero's Hanari used to watch on fuzzy TV screens, Hanari has come to tha rescue! Rescue the XWF from a liar, a bully, an underprepared an' over confident champion! Chu may have everyone else fooled here, but no Hanari, mate.

That what chu guys say right, mate?

If that's even legit.

Oh and before I get done, chico, those little tee shirts that chu have at the merch store...."I Mastered Your Mind"......cha, chu can change dose mang. Change em' to "I Tapped Out To Hanari Carnes......"

Hanari's expression changed from his normal fun loving smile to almost a snarl, as his teeth were visible from the corner of his mouth.

Viva la republic.........Viva la televisión.......Viva la Hanari Carnes."

If you look good, you feel good, If you feel good, you play good, If you play good, they pay good.

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