Bro what the heck are we doing here? And why am I wearing tape on my hands and why am I not wearing any shoes? Is this going to be some kind of weird sex ritual? If so you gotta know I'm a top.

What? Ehhh no. Not at all. Your opponent next week is Erik Black. He's a former MMA fighter. Trained in Muay Thai and Gracie Jiu Jitsu.

What? I have a match? What are you talking about? I just won a title. Doesn't that earn me a week off or something? Hell I was just in a jap death match. I need to recover a little.

Well the Television Title is defended on every edition of Savage which is a weekly show bro. So unfortunately no rest for the wicked.

Great. So not only is my first defense in a few days but it's against some MMA guy who knows Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu. Any other good news you want to share with me Jim?

Just that Black also knows Russian Sambo.

He's a Commie?

No no. Well maybe I don't really know. But Russian Sambo is a fighting style predicated mostly on self defense.

Self defense? Well when I was a kid I took Aikido for a few years so that should help.

You did? That's awesome! What belt did you earn?

Well I didn't really earn a belt, you see I never actually stepped inside the building. I would watch through the window from the sidewalk and then just repeat what I saw on Robert. It worked really well. Except that one time I dislocated Robert's arm but that was mostly his fault for pulling away. Fun fact Robert was kind of a baby growing up. Not uncommon when you win the birthing lottery. But I toughened him up into the bad ass he is now.

That was all you?

That's my story and i'm sticking to it.

Alright bro you ready to do this?

Not really. I'm kinda hungry actually. Can we get some burritos? I really want a burrito. Possibly more than one. Let's go get burritos Jim. Come on Jim. Burritos. Say it with me. Burrrrriiiiittttttoooooo's.

Burrito's do sound good bro and there's a great burrito truck right around the corner from here.

What? You get your burrito's from a truck? That's a thing? That people do?

Yeah man. Burrito trucks are pretty big out here.

Speaking of Jim I've been meaning to talk to you about something. Well you and Robert actually but you're here and he's not so you'll do for now.

What's up bro? Everything ok?

Yeah man everything's cool. Let's walk and talk my stomach is eating itself. I can feel it.

Sounds good.


Jim and Drew walk over to a short wooden bench where their sock and shoes had previously been placed. The two of them remove the tape around their hands and toss it into the trash can next to them. After the two of them have put their shoes back on they grab their bags and head out of the small gym and into the sunny warm air of Southern California.


So what's on your mind bro?

Well you and Robert were a lot of help the other week trying to find me an apartment in Chicago but something hit me on Saturday when I was walking around Hollywood. Something that I never really thought I'd feel but it happened nonetheless.


Before Drew can continue on Jim's cell phone starts ringing. He reaches down into his gym bag and pulls the phone out. He looks down at the screen to see "Robert Main" is calling. He taps a button on the screen to accept the call and then another to put it on speaker.


Yo bro it's Jim and Drew what's going on?

Where are you guys?

We're walking to a burrito truck to get some grub, Drew's hungry. Where are you? Did you land already?

Yeah I did! I just got to the gym but I don't see you guys!

No shit! Just walk back out of the gym and turn left, go to the corner and turn left and you'll see us standing about a hundred feet away. We'll wait for you.

Ok!


Jim ends the call and slips the phone back into his gym bag.


So you were saying bro?

Well since Robert will be here in a sec I might as well wait.

Cool cool.


It takes a few minutes but Robert Main rounds the corner and approaches the other two members of Apex.


Fellas what's going on?

I'm starvin like Marvin. I need to get something to eat. My treat.

Jim said burritos? I haven't had a good burrito since the ones you made a few months ago.

I do make a pretty mean burrito if I do say so myself.

Yeah you do man. So anyway Drew was about to tell me something but then decided to wait for you. So go head Drew, lay it on us.

Well I was telling Jim that I appreciated all the effort you two guys put into helping me find a spot to lay my head but after spending a few hours walking around outside the arena in Hollywood it hit me that I'm over Chicago. Don't get me wrong I love the city, it's really awesome but the winters...OH MY GOD the winters...they are the worst. I guess I was spoiled in prison not having to worry about weather but I just can't anymore. I just can't.

Alright! We can work with that! Where you thinking of moving to? Back home?

Or out here? Say out here, Cali kicks ass.

Well see that's the problem. You remember me telling you about Mr. Falco right? Well I am pretty sure that he's not gonna just let me skip town without fulfilling my obligation to him. So I'm kinda stuck there I think.

How much do you owe him? I'm sure between the three of us we can pay him back and square your debt.

Well that's the thing man. I don't know. He never told me that I owed him money. Just that I owed him. He had me working off my debt by doing various jobs. Things I'm not really proud of. Things I don't really want to do but I don't know what other choice I had. This is the outfit we're talking about. They don't just let people walk away you know?

I only know what I've seen in the movies.

So what do you wanna do? Jim and I got your back Drew! You know that!

Well I think I need to go speak to Mr. Falco and see what he says. See if I can work something out with him.

You want us to come with you?

No absolutely not. I am not involving you two in this. This is my hole to dig out of. I just wanted you guys to be aware in case anything happens and I suddenly disappear.

Ok FUCK that... Drew, I...I was a little less than forthcoming a minute ago. I do happen to know a little somethin' about this kinda crap. That legal commercial grow I have out in Palm Springs...I uh...I started that up off a loan last year around April. The money came from a small crew in Primm, Nevada, I legit just finished paying them off last month. Pappalardo Crew.

Convenient Jim but what does any of that have to do with my situation?

These assholes all know each other, bro. At least know _of_ each other, whether in rival or cooperative light. Anyway, shit was resolved on good terms between me and the Pappalardo Crew. We could ask them for advice on the matter.

Mhm. So you think getting a second crew involved is the answer? No offense Jim, that sounds like an incredibly unwise move. To be blunt, a stupid fucking move.

Look all I'm sayin' is it's an option. Heading off alone to potentially disappear is NOT. The fuck man? Robert and I ain't cool with OUR brother gettin' puppet-mastered around and possibly gettin' whacked out if he don't like it!

Damn right!

We ain't gonna just sit around holdin' our dicks, Drew.

No absolutely not. I am not involving you two in this. This is my hole to dig out of. I just wanted you guys to be aware in case anything happens and I suddenly disappear.

Disappear? Drew what are you talking about? Why would you disappear? You think they would kill you? Over this?

I honestly do not know. It's the mob they kinda just do what they want.

Jesus Christ man here I am trying to get you focused on Erik Black and you're worried about getting whacked by the mob.

Actually Jim I appreciate you helping me take my mind off of it even though you didn't realize you were doing it. So thanks Jimbo. You're one of the good ones.

Well if that's what you are looking for, ways to take your mind off of things did you happen to catch Erik Black's promo? He had plenty to say about you Drew!

I didn't but let me guess it went something like this:

Drew Arcyhle is the worst member of Apex. The weak link if you will.

Drew Archyle doesn't belong in Apex.

Drew Archyle is a bad wrestler with little to no in ring skills.

My dad probably beat me.

Any victory I have can be written of as blind luck. I'm essentially the squirrel finding the nut.

I was in prison.

I'm homeless.

I'm poor.

That about right? Did I hit all of the same Drew Archyle talking points that every single other opponent I've had since coming back had to say about me?

Basically yeah!

So I guess then the question is, do I actually spend time addressing this, again for what seems like the hundredth time or should I just put a little DVD together of me addressing all these same points in my matches with The Mother Fuckers and the Purebred Killers? I bet John Holliday would have said the very same things if he had been bothered to acknowledge that we had a match?

I mean if Erik Black isn't going to do any research and come up with anything original why should I? Don't you guys get tired of me addressing all the same talking points match after match? I know I get tired of repeating myself. And of course it all could have been avoided if Erik had taken just a little bit of time to come up with someone new as opposed to regurgitating the same tiring nonsense. But I guess that's why he's picked a career where his fists are what matter and not his brain.

I really don't get the whole weakest link thing it's ridiculous.

Well he's right. They are all right. I am the weakest link Apex. I said it weeks ago and I'll say it again now. Drew Archyle is the weakest link of Apex.

Bro that's not true and you know it.

No Jim it is true. And I'm ok with that and do you know why that is? Because the weakest link of Apex is still stronger than 99.9% of the roster. That's what Robbie Bourbon, Bearded War Pig, Engy, Peter Gilmour, Michael McBride and now Erik Black don't seem to understand. That yeah compared to you one of the 50 best wrestler's to put their name on an XWF contract and to Robert one of the brightest stars in the business I am the weakest link. But being the weakest when you are among the best still makes you better than most.

Honestly though I really shouldn't give any credence to what Erik Black has to say. Especially when it comes down to who is a better wrestler than who. This guy just lost to Chris Chaos. Chris Chaos. Sure you might look at Chris Chaos and see that once held the Universal Title and you might think that as such he's a pretty good wrestler but thinking that would just mean that you are guilty of not doing your research, which as it turns out is kind of Erik Black's thing. Chris Chaos only won the Universal Title because he beat arguably the worst Universal Champion of all time. Peter Gilmour. As soon as Chris had to face someone halfway talented, he lost and he lost badly. Chris Chaos is terrible. He'll he's not even the best half of his tag team and his partner is a woman. Allegedly.

But this isn't about Chris Chaos, this is about Erik Black not paying attention. This is about ignorance and arrogance. Two things Erik Black seems to be great at. I didn't get lucky when I won the Hart title. I didn't get lucky when I won the Television Title last week. I did both of those things by being the hardest guy in this business to beat. So hard in fact that I haven't lost a match yet. I know, amazing right? Not really i've only had 5 matches, but in those 5 matches I've beaten 3 former Universal Champions. So if Erik Black can't beat a guy like Chris Chaos what makes him think he can beat me?

I've already gone on record and said I'm not the best wrestler in this business, I'm certainly not as technically sound as a guy like Erik Black may be but wrestling isn't just a game of who lands the most punches or who hits the hardest. It's about who refuses to lose and refusing to lose, be it in the ring or in life is what makes me so damn good and so damn strong. I take the beating that would break most others and I keep getting back up. I beat you by letting you beat yourself. So yeah I'm poor. Yeah I was in jail. Yeah I'm homeless. No my father didn't beat me physically but he did a number on me mentally. And despite all of that here I am. The XWF television champion. Here I am part of Apex, the hottest name in sports entertainment today. Here I am about to beat you just a few weeks before my buddy Robert over here does the very same.

You're a fighter Erik so allow me to end this with a quote from a fellow fighter. Albeit a fake one.

"...nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"

Now, let's go get some fucking burritos. I'm starved.

Fade to black.

Former:


w/ Robert "The Omega" Main and and James Raven "Apex" Longest reigning tag team champions in XWF history at 241 days.





February 2018 Superstar Of The Month
March 2019 RPOTM For Captain Americhyle - The First Apexvenger
Winning Team War Games 2017 w/Apex
XWF Federweight Champion