4:49 p.m. May 2nd, 2017.

“As I sit here at XWF home office discussing the future of Michael Graves with one Jane , I can't help but to feel a slight bit of disappointment. Between the actions sanctioned against a former friend, and the absence of an actual challenge, I feel like the storm has settled over top of me and may never dissipate.”

“I never thought I'd find myself defending Michael Graves again. After all the turmoil, the anger, the pain that he's put me through, it would have been nothing short of a favor, him being suspended and such. But, I have a hard time letting go. A problem that has haunted me my entire life. When I find the good in someone, I will focus on it. Tunnel vision is the technical term, being overly focused on something regardless of what is going on around you. I spent so much time believing that deep down he was a good person, I failed to see the reality of the situation.”

“Albeit, I did nothing to help the poor man, and that's something I will regret for the rest of my years. Instead of helping my fellow man, I manipulated him. I used him to gain an edge in the XWF. I used him as a pawn in a plan, that I'm sad to say, has been straight fucked since day one. Everything I had initially planned, backfired in my face. But, that's life. When you forget who you are, when you intend to purposely do harm to others, you will suffer the consequences. Call it Karma, call it the wrath of God, call it what you will. But I'll tell you one thing right now, I'm done paying the price. I feel as though I've paid my dues for the man that I was. I feel like it's time to embrace the man that I've always been and wanted to be, and to allow it to excel me to the top of the XWF.”

“Natalie. Sweet, beautiful, caring, psychotic, Natalie. I love that woman with everything I've got. She's my everything, until the last breath, until the final I love you, she'll always be my world. I feel bad, I had to quickly leave my parents and drive to Pittsburgh to catch a flight from there to XWF home office for my emergency meeting with Ms. . She's understanding generally, but I made a promise not to work while we were on vacation and that's practically all I've done. I mean, I managed to dress up like a clown and make a fool of myself, so there's that. Oh, and I did finally get the grass cut. It's a little irritating that I wasted all my time working, spitting fire, all for a washed up legend to give up after my second promo.”

“Barney, I'll always respect what you did in your era, but I'd suggest retiring. It's obvious you don't have the fortitude, intelligence, or work ethic that I, The Essence Of Excellence possess. And, it's understandable. I imagine spending your nights alone, watching anime porn and scarfing down hot pockets can be taxing. But come on, man. You said you wanted to set an example for your son. The example your father never set for you. Are you really going to set the example that losing is just fine, and it's ok to call it quits before the end of the day? That's bullshit, Barney. I've worked my ass off this week, between manual labor at my parents, and my weekly grind here in the XWF, I'm exhausted. But, I'll never quit. That's what separates the winners from the losers. It's not the end of the world to lose a match, hell, I've lost something like 4 in a row now. But, on the opposite side of that, winning isn't everything. I've known plenty of winners to take a loss and call it quits because they are cowards. Just like you, Barney. You're a coward. You'd rather give up and give in, than to go out and take your ass beatin’ like a man.”

“Truth be told, Barney, I was kind of hoping to be friends after this. I pride myself on being the epitome of manliness. After a show, regardless of the outcome, I try and shake the hand of the man who came out and bested me, or the man who left it all in the ring, gave it everything he had, didn't quit until he was officially beaten. I can't befriend a coward, Barney. It was all fun and games, the going back and forth we did at first. But then I came to the realization that you don't have the same respect for me as I have for you. In fact, I'm fairly certain you don't have an ounce of respect for me. I'll let you in on a little secret, Barney. I thrive on it. I live for the moment that I get the chance to beat the respect I deserve out of you. Chris Chaos never had an ounce of respect for me either, but he sure as hell does now, boy. I took that man to his limits. Yeah, I lost, shit happens. But that man left that arena that night knowing damn well he'd been in a fight. And though he'll never admit it, I think he understands how close he was to losing. Had it not been for Ax3, I'd have walked out victorious.”

“But, that won't be an issue this week, Barney. I'll continue to let you write me off as everyone else has done for so long. It's fine, like I said, I thrive on it. My hunger for being the underdog is something fierce, son! I don't cry about it, I use it, I embrace it!”

Suddenly, Cadryn's phone begins buzzing, indicating an incoming call. The caller ID on his Motorola reads “Satan's Apprentice”. Cadryn slides the digital phone button to the side and engages the call.

“Well, I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you, and I’m getting ready for bed soon. Gotta get up early and do a few things. By the way, I figured I’d let you know, Barney decided to post another promo. I imagine you’re as surprised as I am.”

“Well, hell, maybe he’s got a little fight left in him after all. Alright baby, I love you. Sleep good, I’m gonna continue some of this promo work I’m doing for my match tomorrow.”

“Thanks babe.”

Cadryn drags the little red button to the side, ending the phone call with his wife and returning him to his home screen. Cadryn accesses the XWF website and begins to read what Barney has to say this time. Out of the blue, Cadryn bursts out laughing, dropping his phone in the process.

Cadryn selects the video recorder on his phone, and with the click of a button, another award winning broadcast is born.

“See, Barney, here’s the real problem. You’re the one who brought your family into this. You’re the one talking about setting the example, being in love, and all of that sort of stuff. You can’t blame me for questioning your motives when all I’ve seen so far is a lackluster attempt and subpar performance from a so called “Legend”. Fat mouth? Son, have you even looked at me? I have the facial structure of a GOD! Ain’t not a bit of fat on this frame, son. This right here, this is what you call muscle. I know, you ain’t seen muscle since the last piece of KFC you devoured last night. But, it’s cool, man, I get it. Of course I’m gonna talk about your less than spectacular sex life, dude. You keep feeding me ammunition, you expect me not to pull the trigger? You’re delusional, sir. I have no problem with you being gay, or transexual, or whatever it is you said you have a track record of doing. None of that phases me, dude. Who you fall in love with doesn’t define you as a man. Your actions, your attitude, your motives, these are the defining points of what most would consider a “real” man. All points, might I add, that I carry with the utmost precedence. You felt necessary to point out that “Everyone has a flaw, if you look hard enough.” Well, hell yeah, son. I’ve got about a million of em’. I ain’t perfect. If I were, I wouldn’t be 6-6-1, bud. Don’t project your depression on me, it’s not my fault you’re in the state of mind and physical shape that you’re in. I’ve done nothing but try and motivate you to bring your A game, and you’re still too lazy to do that. Honestly, I’m disappointed. I figured I could make a name for myself beating a former legend, but as it turns out, you’re as washed up as they come.”

“Hah!”

“You think that I think that I am a great wrestler? Does anyone actually listen to anything I have to say? I’ve never one talked about my skills inside of that ring. At best, I’ll brag about my prowess outside of the ring, and my overall undeniable GOD like qualities. I hate to tell you this, old man, but the game has changed. You’re going to need a lot more than wisdom and experience to come out victorious in the XWF now a days, friend. You keep bringing up the past, because that’s where you’re stuck. You’re stuck in a time where you weren’t miserable, where you were what you considered a winner, where you were happy. We both know the truth, Barney. You’re not happy with your life as it stands. And truthfully, I can’t blame you. But instead of whining about it, and pretending I still have what it takes to make it, I’d sack up and do what I had to do to adjust. Because the reality of the entire situation is that you just don’t have it anymore, dude. I’m beginning to feel bad, it’s going to be a slaughter. Disregard my failures as a wrestler, disregard my failures as a husband, a friend, whatever. Even at my worst, I’m still better than you at your best. And your best was 10 years ago, so what does that say for you now?”

“You know, it’s funny the way things come full circle in life, you know? I am about to disclose some information to you and the rest of the world that I had never planned to share with anyone aside from my wife. You talk about how you’re part of the Jon Brown era of XWF. “

“You see that’s funny to me..”

“Why?”

“..because so am I.”

Cadryn takes his hat off and sits it in the chair beside of him. He wipes a bit of sweat from his brow and presses onward.

“I am a second generation XWF superstar.”

Cadryn puts his head down for a moment, almost ashamed of the information he has bestowed upon the world.

“I’m not sure how much of my life you’ve actually followed, being shacked up in your little apartment and such, but I made mention multiple times in my work that my father was never around when I was younger. He was always out doing his best to provide for us, trying to make ends meet. And he did a pretty decent job. What I failed to share with the world is that my father began his career in the XWF in 2002. Under the leadership of Jon Brown. You’ll understand why I’ve kept it a secret for so long momentarily.”

“I was 16 years old when my father finally got the break he had been waiting for his entire life. I’ll never forget how happy he looked, and how excited he was to be working with a real company like the XWF. No more high school gymnasiums, no more armory’s, none of that crap. This was the big time, the real deal. So for a few months in the summer of 2002, I spent damn near everyday with my dad. Traveling from arena to arena, watching match after match. I got to meet some of the superstars at the time. Steve Jason, Fred L, The Brand, Raziel, Dynamic Dynamite, just to name a few. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. But then, as do most pipe dreams, it was shattered. The one thing I forgot to mention is that my father has never won a single match in his professional career. Not for the short time he was in the XWF back in 2002 and still to this day, as he is still a part of the company in 2017, he’s still never won a match. It’s a shame really. I’ve always felt bad for him. I watched his continued losing streak eat away at him until he finally snapped. Of course at first it was just a few beers a day, and then it was a 12 pack a day, followed by a bottle of liquor here and there, until it was a full blown dependence. He refused to hear our pleas, he refused to seek help. I hate admitting this, because this is the absolute opposite of “real” man, but at that time I had given up hope. I honestly figured it would just be easier if he keeled over and my mother and I would just figure it out on our own. But one night, he decided that he needed another 12 pack. So, he gets in the car, obviously ungodly drunk, and he attempts to make the 5 mile drive to the liquor store. For clarification purposes, this particular route involves about 3 miles of interstate. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was 11:48 at night. The store closed at 12am sharp, daily. So of course, the old man was rushing to get there. Long story short, he passed out at the wheel and crashed the car at around 90mph. He should have died, to be honest. He broke every rib in his body, fractured his shoulder blade, punctured a lung, hit his chest so hard that his heart would no longer beat in sinus rhythm, it was a mess like I’d never seen before. But, by the grace of God almighty, he pulled through. It was a miracle of epic proportions, that I now thank God for. So from that moment, he vowed never to drink again, and he also vowed to go to Seminary School in the hopes of becoming a preacher. Well, as luck would have it, he did both. And he still preaches every Sunday at whatever church will have him, in relation to the location of the show I am booked on.”

“That’s right, Barney..”


“Darren Zirado is my father.”

“As I said, I don’t live in the past, so I don’t brag about being from that era. But guess what, sugafoot? We’re from the same time period. Except, I’ve actually been around longer than you, ironic isn’t it?”

“The fact that I am a second generation superstar has no bearing on my career here in the XWF, and truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I changed my last name to Thompson as a young adult to kind of clear myself of my father’s overly loss oriented shadow. Instead of using my actual last name in the ring, I decided I needed a new one. At the time I attended wrestling school, the remake of Star Trek was hugely popular. I’ve always been a Star Trek fan, so I figured, why not? Cadryn Tiberius has a nice ring to it. It’s a name that people won’t forget, and that has stood true to this day. I’ll never be forgotten. The amount of work that I have put in so far, in the small amount of time I’ve been in the XWF is immaculate.”

“So from now on, when you and the rest of the world see me, just remember, I’m a legend in my own right. I don’t need a title to prove my worth, that title needs me to prove it’s worth. This is exactly why I haven’t aimed my sights much higher than where they are now.”

“But, in closing, Barney, best of luck. I’m not gonna bother countering the rest of your boring, repetitive promo.”

“Also, when this is all said and done, as I have said to all my opponents, there is always a spot open at my dinner table for you, my friend.”

“Don’t be a stranger.”

The Essence Of Excellence has just claimed yet another victim. The first in a long line of assholes I plan to put in their place here in the XWF.

“See you Wednesday, dude.”

Cadryn stops the broadcasting app on his phone and locks the screen. He takes a deep breath, smiles as big as he possibly can, slides his hat back on and begins to head for the exit. It looks like Jane will have to wait until after Warfare tomorrow night to finish our little discussion.