So you're a demon now huh Chris? Not an actual demon mind you, but a soulless prick who isn't going to show any regard for my well being in this match. Yeah, well would you mind telling me how that's any different than any other day? Seriously dude, don't try to psych me out with that crap, I'm not buying. Instead, let me tell you what I see. I see a man who is trying his damndest to convince himself, and everyone else that he's not afraid of losing his title. I see a man who's reaching for straws and trying his damndest to get into my head. I see a man who is finally beginning to realize that he may have bitten off more that he can chew. Look at yourself man, you look like shit. You're trying to give me crap for going to Disneyland with my buddies, but apparently all you're doing is laying around the house and trying to find some inner monster, hoping that it can do the job that you know you're incapable of doing yourself. Over the last week, I've asked you if you're beginning to realize the trouble that you've gotten yourself into, now I know the answer is a resounding YES. You feel that title belt slipping away with each passing day don't you, Chris? It's the one thing that you love, it's all that you have left in this world, right? Then here comes Micheal Graves, the guy who is about to take it all away from you. You know it's true, Chris. You can deny it all you want to, but the fact is that you're afraid of what I'm going bring to that ring on Saturday. You know deep down that you've fucked up. After this match was booked, you checked out my matches against Thaddeus Duke and Robbie Bourbon, and you pegged me for an easy target. I was to be just another notch on Chris Chaos's belt, a warm up match. You thought that I had a loud bark, but no bite. Now you're just not sure what to expect out of me are you? I might have pretended to be processed by a demon leading into this match, but now you see the real monster that was lying beneath the surface, so you're trying desperately to muster up your own.
Thaddeus Duke and myself had a hard fought match. I came close, but I failed. You were quick to point that out. Robbie Bourbon was another one that I put up a hell of a fight against, and again I fell short. You were quick to point that out as well. You're not wrong Chris. So far in my return, I have not been able to rise to the occasion in the two matches that mattered. Beating Thaddeus Duke would have rocketed my credibility here in the new era of the XWF. Winning the Hart Title was my second chance at redemption, and due to Jefferson Jackson's involvement, I fell short once again. I felt like that was it, my career was on the rocks at that point. I wasn't sure if I would be able to rebound, and my confidence in myself was at an all time low. Then I met Chris Chaos, possibly the biggest asshole in the XWF today, and that's saying something considering we have Peter Gilmore and Scully running around.
I answered your damn question Chris, I tried to help you out. Sure I had a sarcastic tone, but that's just me. You're the one who decided to take a personal shot at me. “Win a match before you speak to me”, that's what you said. I know that you don't know this, but when you said that to me, I was already considering calling my return a bust and going back into retirement. After that match with Thaddeus Duke I felt that I had physically lost a step, on top of that my drive and desire just wasn't there anymore. When I returned I made a deal with myself. I wasn't going to outstay my welcome, and end up becoming a joke like so many others do. Duke took me to my limits, then he decisively put me away. I figured I'd give it one more shot, and put everything I had into taking that Hart title from Robbie Bourbon. If after that match I didn't feel like I had it in me to win, I was out, but I did have it in me. I kicked Robbie's ass, and I know I would have won had it been a fair fight. A few days before that match I had my first interaction with you, Chris. After that, I no longer thought about quitting. I made it my goal to prove you wrong! Originally I planned on beating you on Savage, and earning myself a title opportunity. I didn't whine for a title match, I didn't beg, and I didn't manipulate. I goaded you on until you challenged me to a non title match, and from there I planned on earning my way by defeating you in the middle of the ring. It was you that didn't know when to shut up. It was you that continued to push Paul Heyman's buttons, and it was Paul Heyman that responded by making putting the Universal title on the line. You can whine and cry about how management is stacking the deck against you all you want to, but the fact remains that you brought it all on yourself. You didn't stop there though, did you? You continued to run your mouth after the match was booked. You continued to run off at the mouth to Paul Heyman, and the result of that action is the fact that you have to beat me by two falls. Once again this had NOTHING to do with me, or anything that I said or did. You are your own worst enemy Chris. You're the one who has gotten yourself into this mess. Now you're pretending that you don't know why management is stacking the deck against you, but you know full well why. It's because you are a loudmouth prima donna, and everyone is getting tired of your shit.
You're also pissed off because you thought that I was going to be a pushover. You've already admitted to writing me off, but after I recorded my first couple of promos for this match you had to take a step back. You realized that something's different about me. You see it in my eyes now don't you. The spark that wasn't there before. The fire, the determination. Am I on your level? You've told me that I need to face facts Chris. On any other day, no I'm not on your level, but you've backed me into a corner. You put me in a position where my very manhood is on the line. This isn't about your title Chris. This is about the FACT that you tried to punk me out like a bitch, and I don't shy away from anyone. Now on February 25th, Micheal Graves has your number, FACT!
You may not care about my past here in the XWF, but my past is important. It's important for you to understand that I've made a career of rising to the occasion when I'm backed into a corner. This match will mark the very first time in my career that I have challenged for the Universal Title. The first time. Think about that Chris. Because when I'm pushed, when I'm backed into a corner, I don't just lay down and die. I find a way to fight my way up. I find a way to somehow become better than I have any right to be. I've done it before when I've defeated main event guys who were also out of my league, and I'm going to do it again Saturday night! Now add to the fact that I can also walk away with the Universal title. A championship that has alluded me my entire career. That's a hell of a incentive on top of getting the chance to kick the shit out of you. I'm not telling you anything that you don't know already though. I mean, you spent hours in the archives watching footage of me did you not? If so, then you should have seen first hand how I hard I can push myself when I'm pressured.
I love this business, I missed this business, and when I returned for what was intended as a one off appearance, I realized just how much I wanted to be a part of this again. I almost threw that all away because I didn't think that I was good enough, I didn't think that I could perform at a level that was acceptable to my own expectations. I have you to thank for snapping me out of that very negative mindset, Chris. Now allow me to return the favor. You need to get your ass out of bed, take a shower, and bring your A game on Savage. Because I don't have any desire to beat a mentally broken Chris Chaos, I want THE MAN. I want the guy who has been blazing a trail through the XWF since he first arrived. I may have pointed out flaws in your record Chris, but I didn't say that you weren't a great wrestler, maybe even the best there is at what you do. I just poked fun at the fact that you try to whitewash your shortcomings instead of owning them. I own my losses, Chris. Even when they are screw jobs. Check out my record again. You'll notice that it states “Lost to Robbie Bourbon” and not something like “Lost to Robbie Bourbon because JJ opened the cage door and Robbie's fat ass tripped out the cage after I kicked his head off.” You're great Chris, one of the best, that's for sure. Well I want the best, and if it takes you're 28 years of "demons” to get the best out of you, then I say bring it!
You said that I'm wasting my time going to Disneyland. How can you stand there with a straight face and accuse me of wasting time when you have fucking bed sores? You claim that you're hitting the gym and running the ropes, but I ain't buying that jazz. You're starting to look like Christian Bale in The Mechanic. I knew that I was going to get into your head, but I didn't figure it'd be this easy. Are you faking me out, Chris? You've gotta be faking me out. I refuse to believe that our Universal Champion is such a pathetic twat. Then again the last couple of champions were Peter Gilmore and Scully. Just think, all I've done so far is talk some smack. We haven't even met in the ring yet. Not even once! Not unless you want to count that cowardly attack on Savage. You caught me by surprise, but that won't happen this week. This time you're going to be forced to stand face to face with me, and then find a way to win not once, but twice in the course of an hour. You said that I'm not a threat to your reign, that the stipulations are the only real threat. Well Chris, you know that's bullshit. Being in this business for as long as you have, you know damn well that anyone can suffer defeat at any time, even when it's by someone considered out of their league. You're not in a good position. You've been set up not to fail, but to back up all that crap that you talk.
I'm a washout.
I'm a career loser.
I pose no threat to your reign.
You no sold the match Chris. You forced management's hand to make this an interesting encounter. Then you realized maybe this guy is more of a threat than I had anticipated. Well that's your bad buddy. Your-fucking-bad! Go ahead and think about all of that. Trace back every bad decision that set you on this path. You'll have plenty of time to reflect when that time limit runs out, and you're laying on the mat, staring at the rafters, while Tig O’Bittles is preaching the truth. Telling all the world that on February 25th, Chris Chaos just wasn't up to the task.
Chaotic?
More like CATATONIC!
DISNEYLAND!
Well, we've finally made it to Disneyland. They say that this is the place that dreams come true. Well, let's wish upon a star because tomorrow night Cadryn and I have the opportunity to make a lifelong dream become a reality.
We begin with a montage. Various clips of Darren Zirado, Cadryn Tiberius, and Micheal Graves walking through the park, eating cotton candy, and riding rides flash across the screen to some generic happy music. We see shots of Cadryn being scared and hugging Micheal Graves on The Haunted Mansion, Darren Zirado losing his lunch after a ride on Space Mountain, and Graves flirting with Cinderella. After the short montage is over, we pick up with our heroes having lunch at Ariel's Grotto.
Darren Zirado: Are you excited boys!? Tomorrow night the three of us are going to shock the world!
Micheal takes a long sip of his soda from a ridiculous Mickey mouse shaped sippy straw. As Cadryn chimes in as only he can.
Cadryn: I mean, I'm excited, yes. But I'm totally more excited about this Mickey Mouse waffle Gravy bought for me. At first, he said no because I'm not a child, and it's also not time for breakfast. But, he caved, as he always does.
Cadryn lays a bear hug on Graves. Overly thankful for the $13 waffle he hath bestowed upon young Cadryn. Micheal's first thought as Cadryn wraps his stringy arms around him is to shove him off, but he doesn't. It seems that Micheal is beginning to become accustomed to Cadryn's acts of affection, so instead Micheal wraps an arm around Cadryn and hugs him tightly, pulling him even closer.
Micheal Graves: No problem little buddy. Now you just need to make sure that you earn that waffle by kicking Jim's ass tomorrow and winning that TV Title.
Cadryn: YOU HUGGED ME BACK! I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY! I'M SO EXCITED I MIGHT PEE ON THE CARPET LIKE A DOG WHEN IT'S EXCITED TO SEE SOMEONE!
Cadryn begins dancing about in the booth like an autistic 8-year-old. Darren slams his fist onto the table to get Cadryn’s attention.
Darren Zirado: Boy, quit flopping around like a fish outta water! You're making a fool outta yourself!
Micheal gets a little irritated anytime Darren tries to scold Cadryn like a child. This time is no exception as evidenced by the shade of red that begins to fill Micheal's face.
Micheal Graves: Darren, that's enough of that. Quit treating Cadryn like some child! Hell, while you're at it, quit acting like you're our dad or something!
Darren just sits there with a dumbfounded look on his face as Micheal continues to tear into him.
Micheal Graves: I've allowed you to hang out with us because Cadryn seems to like you and because…
Suddenly Darren burst out screaming.
Darren Zirado: NO, I WAS THE ONE WHO ALLOWED YOU TO TAG ALONG WITH US!
The two of them sit there quietly for a moment. The silence is awkward and the attention of everyone sitting around them is focused squarely on our trio of wrestlers.
Cadryn: It's not often I agree with him, but Jim was right. Big dumb goddamn Darren Zirado, you need to calm down. You're acting like a child. You too, Gravy. This behavior is unbecoming of a champion.
Graves and Darren both slowly turn their heads and stare a hole through Cadryn.
Micheal Graves: Unbecoming of a champion? Dude, you're eating a Mickey Mouse waffle and acting like an 8-year-old with downs. I love you like a brother Cadryn, but don't tell me how to act until you figure it out for yourself. Besides, he started it!
Darren turns his attention back to Graves and is quick to add to the conversation.
Darren Zirado: Boy, I'm about…
Rolling his eyes and making a flapping mouth motion with his hand, Micheal is even quicker to cut off Zirado.
Micheal Graves: I'm about to take you to church boy. I've got plenty of open pews to sit your ass down.
Micheal quits making the hand motion as a more serious look falls over his face.
Micheal Graves: Ever think you have so many open pews in that church because nobody takes you seriously?
Darren's nostrils flare as he jumps out of his seat. He's apparently had enough of Micheal's sarcastic quips.
Darren Zirado: That's enough son! I'm about to lay the power of Christ on you!
Micheal throws his hands up in defense, cowering in his seat.
Micheal Graves: Oh no, big dumb Darren Zirado is about to lay his dick on me!
Darren face quickly changes to a look of shock and embarrassment, as he fires back in a defensive tone.
Darren Zirado: I'm sure that I don't know what you're talking about you sick heathen!
Micheal smirks, knowing that he had one up on the man who claims to be holier than thou.
Micheal Graves: That girl back at Garden of the Gods may have welcomed a little Jesus in her life Darren, but I don't swing that way.
Darren throws his finger up to make a point, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He realizes that Micheal just called him on his bullshit and he has no other option than to run away and regroup. This leaves Micheal with a short term sense of victory, but he quickly realizes that he just hurt the big man's feelings and embarrassed him in front of a lot of people. Micheal sighs as he gets up and chases after Zirado.
Micheal Graves: Darren wait!
But Zirado is too pissed off and ashamed to heed Michael's plea. Graves is left standing just outside of the eatery as he watches Darren runoff into a crowd of people. Micheal sighs once again. Now he feels like absolute shit. Oh well he thinks, I'll apologize to the big guy later. Micheal turns around and walks back towards the booth that Cadryn was sitting at, but he isn't there anymore.
Micheal Graves: Damnit!
Micheal's profanity causes the entire restaurant to once again turn his attention to him. Micheal runs out the door and feverishly looks around for any signs of Cadryn. Off in the distance, Micheal thinks he sees something. He bolts off down the path, as his target slips behind one of the exhibits. Micheal stops and momentarily stares at the sign that says employees only. He decides to ignore the sign and investigate anyway. Micheal slips into the restricted area and immediately finds Cadryn rubbing the oversized head of a Woody costume.
Micheal Graves: What are you doing back here?
Cadryn: I can't explain it. When I rub this Woody costume, something in me ole’ dink starts to tingle. And it feels nice.
Oh no. It's a bad day for Cadryn to be wearing gym shorts. The more he rubs that costume the more we see his misshapen member begin to take shape. That damn thing is like a train wreck, you just can't look away.
Micheal Graves: Umm…
Micheal is completely and utterly at a loss for words. For as long as Micheal has known him, Cadryn's always been a little weird, but this might just take the cake.
Micheal Graves: Dude, you need to stop before we get caught back here.
Cadryn: GRAVY IT WON'T STOP PULSATING. KILL IT.
Suddenly Cadryn begins furiously punching himself in the ole’ dink. This boy either has no feeling left in that odd looking thing, or he has one hell of a pain tolerance. Meanwhile, as Cadryn continues to pound away at his dink, Micheal notices something more out of the ordinary if you can believe that. Off in the distance, Micheal notices a Mickey Mouse leaning halfway out of the doorway. He seems to be observing out two heroes but trying to not be noticed. Once he realized that Micheal as spotted him, he slips back into the room that he is hiding in and slams the door shut.
Micheal Graves: Did you see that?
Cadryn: I'LL SEE WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO SEE SO LONG AS YOU HELP ME DRIVE THE BEAST BACK IN HIS CAVE.
Oblivious to the fact that a potential rapist Mickey Mouse looms just ahead, Cadryn continues to “drive the beast back” so to say. Micheal cautiously approaches Cadryn and gently places his hand on the lad's shoulder. Cadryn takes a break from pummeling his pecker and turns his attention to Graves who is now leading him back out into the park.
Micheal Graves: Listen, I promise that the beast will slumber if you walk down to the ice cream stand and get yourself a cone.
Cadryn: Are you sure?
Micheal nods and gently urges Cadryn out of the employee area. Now with Cadryn gone, Micheal decides to investigate that creepy Mickey Mouse. He makes his way to the door and grabs the handle. Before he can even attempt to open the door, it flies open knocking him down in the process as this person in a Mickey Mouse costume burst out of the room and takes off towards the park entrance. Micheal quickly gets to his feet and chases after Mickey Mouse. Thankfully, Mickey isn’t that fast with his big goofy shoes and oversized head. Micheal manages to catch him, tackling him to the ground. Micheal and Mickey roll around the floor struggling for dominance. Micheal finally manages to get the upper hand and sits a top of Mickey pinning him to the ground. Micheal rips Micheal Mouse’s head off revealing none other that XWF Television Champion Jim Caedus!
Micheal Graves: Caedus!?
Jim Caedus: Get the fuck off me, Gravy!
Caedus struggles to throw Micheal off of him, but Micheal manages to keep him pinned to the ground.
Micheal Graves: Why are you spying on us, and why are you dressed like that!?
Jim Caedus: Fuck you!
Jim Caedus summons a loogie from deep in his throat and spits it directly into Micheal’s eye. Micheal is caught off guard by this action, is then toppled over my Jim, who is now pinning Micheal to the floor in much the same way that he was prior.
Jim Caedus: Why am I following you two? Maybe I want to see first hand what you find so God damned special about that cum slurping and that dumb fuck Zirado, that made you chose them over me!
Jim lays into Graves with a couple of right hands. Micheal is quick to throw his guard up and avoid the brunt of the intended damage.
Jim Caedus: WHY!?
Caedus throws another shot, this one slips through Michael's guard and catches him square in the eye! Graves looks a bit dazed as Jim grabs him by the throat with both hands, choking the life out of him as he leans in close, yelling with a look of anger and sadness.
Jim Caedus: You’re pretending to be some sort of hero, but you’re just a backstabbing piece of shit Graves! You use people and throw them to the side when you’re done with them! I’m not trash! I’m Jim Fucking Caedus you mother fucking dick!
Micheal is fading fast. He knows that if he doesn’t act quickly that it’s a real possibility that Jim Caedus may just take his life right here at Disneyland. Wouldn’t that be some shit? Micheal thinks. Murdered the day before fulfilling my dreams by a mad as a hatter dick bag that can’t get over the fact that Micheal Graves didn’t want to betray Cadryn and become his… partner? friend? Who the hell knows. All Micheal knows for sure right now...Desperate times call for desperate measures! Micheal reaches up and jabs a thumb into Jim Caedus eye. Jim yells out in pain...
Jim Caedus: FUCK!
...as he releases his grip on Micheal’s throat. Micheal takes in a deep breath, followed by a coughing spell. The two men seem to recover at about the same time, and the struggle for dominance continues. Jim grabs Micheal’s throat again, and leans back in, close to Micheal’s face. Before Jim can say whatever he planned on saying, Micheal blows a fine red colored mist into Jim’s face. Jim releases Micheal and topples back feverishly wiping his eyes. Micheal continues to lay there for a minute trying to catch his breath. When he finally finds the strength to get up, he realizes that Caedus has taken his Mickey Mouse head and ran off.
Micheal takes off running out of the employee area and back into the park. He surveys the area, looking for any signs of Jim, but he doesn’t see any sign of him anywhere. Micheal stumbles over to a park bench and takes a seat. This is fucking great, he thinks to himself. Caedus has apparently followed us to Disneyland, and he’s madder than Max in all four films combined. Suddenly Micheal realizes that Cadryn is off on his own, and a prime target for a sneak attack from a Mickey Mouse mad man! Graves pulls out his cell phone and calls Cadryn. It rings a few times before going to voicemail.
Cadryn: Hello Sugarbear, I’m not available to answer this call right now. I have TV championship to win. :BEEP:
The scene fades as Micheal anxiously begins looking for Cadryn...
The Disney adventure isn’t over yet!
(To find out what happens with Cadryn and Mickey Caedus, check out Scully’s first promo for LL!)
(To find out where Darren Zirado ran off to, check out his second promo for LL)
(And for the continued adventures of Cadryn and his weiner-beast, check out his stuff for Savage!)
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
The following 10 users Like "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post:
and that dumb fuck Zirado, that made you chose them over me!
