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Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **09-15-2016, 03:13 AM**

Please bring up your questions and issues regarding my policy as President at this time.

Mr. Lane, I have delivered your stack of blank pardons for the XWF roster. We saved the taxpayers shipping and handling fees today, an historic occasion of no small magnitude.

I hereby decree that September is National X-Treme Month, a time of year in which the X-Treme is marked and regarded with the respect it deserves regarding it's rich presence in our nation's great history. I do this along with congress, by reaching across the aisle, and Robbiebombing our country to greater, higher heights.

To our friends from across borders and seas, please, don't be snooty about our culture. We invented the pickup truck, the paternity test talk show, superhero fanboys, breast implants, and frozen waffles, our culture is vast and varied, with many beautiful and, well, pretty pointless aspects to it. If it isn't nice to laugh at how silly you sound mispronouncing American English, don't go off about how in your home something is better, especially if it is.

XWF, you have the floor.

**Vincent Lane** · (09-15-2016)

What the crap is this?

Who voted for you? When was he election? Did Soldier's weird necro-voodoo have something to do with this?

You make a bit of sense though, dude, I'm glad the concussion I gave you a few months back has worn off to that extent. September is definitely going to be X-Treme, and you're leading the charge personally in your next two matches!

I've got a few dollars on War Pig heading into Savage, by the way.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **09-15-2016, 02:04 PM**

Mr. Lane, on behalf of myself and the American people, I would personally like to thank you for addressing the concerns of the health of my brain and the legality in which I became president.

Thank you.

For starters, I have a completely clean bill of brain health, as I have only had 38 concussions. Somehow, I can still pronounce the word "nuclear" correctly and do not have a stammering problem.

Secondly, regarding the unorthodox method of which I found myself in the seat of the Presidency, if you'll recall your eighth grade civics teacher probably taught you, is that I was hired as an intern within the White House, and then the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of our government worked together to eliminate any possibility of the Vice President, the speaker of the house, any member of the cabinet, any member of the senate or the house, or even the White House gardener from being viable candidates as replacement to my predecessor, meaning I legally became the next in succession. Mr. Obama need only graciously resign as President of the United States, and shazang, I'm the President. This all happened in a matter of five minutes in an emergency session of congress.

I am happy to say that I will be running for my first complete term in office in the upcoming election, and have gotten on the ballot in 49 states. For some reason, Idaho is slacking. Regardless, the electoral college doesn't really care and will be reelecting me, and my running mate will be whomever the Veep candidate was for the candidate who won the actual popular vote.

Next question?

Hunter Payne · (09-15-2016)

(09-15-2016, 02:04 PM)President Robbie Bourbon Said: Mr. Lane, on behalf of myself and the American people, I would personally like to thank you for addressing the concerns of the health of my brain and the legality in which I became president.

Thank you.

For starters, I have a completely clean bill of brain health, as I have only had 38 concussions. Somehow, I can still pronounce the word "nuclear" correctly and do not have a stammering problem.

Secondly, regarding the unorthodox method of which I found myself in the seat of the Presidency, if you'll recall your eighth grade civics teacher probably taught you, is that I was hired as an intern within the White House, and then the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of our government worked together to eliminate any possibility of the Vice President, the speaker of the house, any member of the cabinet, any member of the senate or the house, or even the White House gardener from being viable candidates as replacement to my predecessor, meaning I legally became the next in succession. Mr. Obama need only graciously resign as President of the United States, and shazang, I'm the President. This all happened in a matter of five minutes in an emergency session of congress.

I am happy to say that I will be running for my first complete term in office in the upcoming election, and have gotten on the ballot in 49 states. For some reason, Idaho is slacking. Regardless, the electoral college doesn't really care and will be reelecting me, and my running mate will be whomever the Veep candidate was for the candidate who won the actual popular vote.

Next question?

Eh. Better than Trump.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · (09-15-2016)

no one is better than president trump

or

this man

[Image: Spaceballs-President-Skroob.png]

Miss Joy · (09-15-2016)

Everyone is better than Trump Peter.

Question for... Uhhh... Vader?... You look like Vader...

Anyway, President Vader, who will be your running mate? Will it be someone from the XWF?

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · (09-15-2016)

Of course I'm better than Trump. You're better than Trump, Mr. Payne, and when you clip your toenails, those clippings are better than Trump. I am proud to say, however, that instead of a wall, I will be building a moat between the United States and Canada, diverting the polluted waters in Michigan to Canadian lands, thus eliminating them as an American problem. Also, I will be building a series of immigration centers on the border to Mexico, ready to accept any human willing to traverse a desert to come to our great land, and then be generously placed somewhere at random in the U.S. with no job whatsoever to protect the interests of those who feel their population is burdened enough already, and that their jobs are threatened by those who barely speak English and don't have a driver's license.

Thank you.

Mr. Gilmour, I can not deny the spirit of former President Skroob and his efforts to devoid Druidia of it's air supply. As such, I will be sending you an Air Supply mixtape.

Thank you.

Next question?

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · (09-15-2016)

Miss Joy, I appreciate your concern. I can confirm I am most certainly not the Dark Lord of the Sith, nor am I Leon White, a great American businessman. In the XWF, my running mate, whom I am very proud of, is none other than Arby Beef, and until further notice, I will just be stealing my Vice President when I get inaugurated next January after winning the election because I told the electoral college to from whomever wins the popular vote.

Thank you.

Next question?

Hunter Payne · (09-15-2016)

(09-15-2016, 02:28 PM)President Robbie Bourbon Said: Of course I'm better than Trump. You're better than Trump, Mr. Payne, and when you clip your toenails, those clippings are better than Trump. I am proud to say, however, that instead of a wall, I will be building a moat between the United States and Canada, diverting the polluted waters in Michigan to Canadian lands, thus eliminating them as an American problem. Also, I will be building a series of immigration centers on the border to Mexico, ready to accept any human willing to traverse a desert to come to our great land, and then be generously placed somewhere at random in the U.S. with no job whatsoever to protect the interests of those who feel their population is burdened enough already, and that their jobs are threatened by those who barely speak English and don't have a driver's license.

Thank you.

Mr. Gilmour, I can not deny the spirit of former President Skroob and his efforts to devoid Druidia of it's air supply. As such, I will be sending you an Air Supply mixtape.

Thank you.

Next question?

I like this guy. Almost as much as I like Bernie Sanders.

The Monster of Htaed · (09-15-2016)

You just want Michigan out of the states so you won't have to face me on Saturday, you pussy pimple fuck!"

Dolly Waters · (09-15-2016)

He's no Bernie, but hey, I can dig it

Dolly Waters · (09-15-2016)

Mr. Bourbon, what is your stance on charter schools?

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **09-15-2016, 07:35 PM**

Mr. Pig, that is an incorrect statement. Michigan is an integral part of our great nation, having given us Motown, the Dodge Challenger, Faygo Candy Apple flavored soda, or pop as many in the region would call it, and victory in the second World War by producing machinery finer than Mercedes or BMW. It gave us Charles Lindbergh, who led the way in aviation, and it gave us Madonna, who isn't as hot as she used to be even though we'd all still hit it like it was Whack-a-Mole. My solution to the problem with the water in Flint was to give Michiganians clean water, also, because I just found out Captain Planet has been deceased since the early naughts.

Thank you.

Miss Waters, I appreciate your interest in the wellbeing of our nation's youth and the quality of the education they recieve. Quite frankly, it is in our country's best interests to have checks and balances, and if charter schools can provide educational techniques that are not considered by school districts, and provide education to those who would falter in a standardized method of learning, then the only outcome that can happen would be the overall betterment of our great nation, though consideration of these schools should be taken with great care so that we, as Americans, do not condone or nurture harmful interests by funding them.

Excellent question.

Thank you.

Next question?

The Monster of Htaed · (09-15-2016)

"It's Michiganders fuck nuts, we have clean water, Flint alone has shitty water because of the piece of shit Democratic party.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **09-15-2016, 08:10 PM**

Mr. Pig, while you yourself may try to distance yourself from the citizens in your own state, and regardless of what may have caused the issues to begin with, Democrat or Republican, I, as an American, and as President of the United States, am responsible for fixing them rather than assigning blame. As such, I have reached across the aisle and taken both Democrats and Republicans and started work on the moat, which will also create millions of jobs in the great state of Michigan, meaning your days of brusque vigilantism need not be as we renew and reinvigorate Detroit. Some say we need to make America great again, I say it is and has always been the greatest country on earth, and I aim to prove just that.

Thank you.

Next question?

Barney Green · (09-15-2016)

I endorse Robbie Bourbon as President.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (09-16-2016)

"Will you force that obnoxious, and terribly ugly cunt, Joy Payne to let me tongue her ass now?"

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **09-16-2016, 01:13 AM**

Mr. Green, I appreciate your endorsement, as it means very much to have an XWF legend and current Star of the Month backing me. I believe I may even have room in my cabinet for you.

Thank you.

Mr. Smackins, Miss Hightower, I can not force anyone to allow you to perform the act of analingus upon them, as that would openly violate the 14th Amendment, and her rights as a citizen. Miss Joy, ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. I feel that it would be in the best interests for not only Mr. Smackins and Miss Hightower, but all of America, if you were to drop your pants and spread your butt cheeks so they could tap your bung with their tongue until they were to burst a lung. I would hate to believe you would have any weapons of mass destruction up there, and I am fully authorized to have special agents and myself check to see if there are any objects in your rectum, tongue first if need be, for the safety of all Americans. As such, I am deputizing Mr. Smackins and Miss Hightower as special ATF agents under my direct jurisdiction, and if they find any incontrovertible evidence that you are linked to ISIS, the drug cartels, or any other enemy of the American public, they can and will perform a thorough and expertly salacious saliva lubricated body cavity search upon you.

Thank you.

Next question?

Hunter Payne · (09-16-2016)

(09-16-2016, 01:13 AM)President Robbie Bourbon Said: I feel that it would be in the best interests for not only Mr. Smackins and Miss Hightower, but all of America, if you were to drop your pants and spread your butt cheeks so they could tap your bung with their tongue until they were to burst a lung. I would hate to believe you would have any weapons of mass destruction up there, and I am fully authorized to have special agents and myself check to see if there are any objects in your rectum, tongue first if need be, for the safety of all Americans. As such, I am deputizing Mr. Smackins and Miss Hightower as special ATF agents under my direct jurisdiction, and if they find any incontrovertible evidence that you are linked to ISIS, the drug cartels, or any other enemy of the American public, they can and will perform a thorough and expertly salacious saliva lubricated body cavity search upon you.

Thank you.

Next question?

That sounds like LITERATELY something Donald Trump would do, and therefore is making me rethink about endorsing you. Some free political advice Mr. President, You can't make everyone happy, but if you are going to try to help a certain demographic, the rapists demographic should always be at the bottom of your list.

And for the record, No one's tongue is going anywhere near my wife's asshole! She's married now and her experimental college days are long gone! Sorry.

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