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Not so victimless
Author Message
Ruby Offline
The Super Dear'o



XWF FanBase:
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#1
06-22-2022, 01:39 PM

*From Ruby’s Go-Pro*

It was a fine night indeed, not far removed from the Summer solstice. And while the ‘Midsommar’ was a terrific setting for Scandinavian horror movies that were phenomenal but admittedly slightly drawn out, tonight was a night for some good old tiny Canadian justice!

Unfortunately, dearest and finest of readers, you caught our Banana-Lime Blur after the climax of proceedings. Sirens were already swinging enthusiastically, officers were already taking statements, and one very grumpy Chicago Chief of Police was standing next to Ruby.

However, the Super Dear’O was more focused on the criminal the hard working patrolmen were escorting out of the tall skyscraper. He had a towel thrown over his head, to protect his face from the cameras that were filming right outside of the police line.

Ruby: “That’s right! Not all culprits are violent bat-swinging gore enthusiasts! Enjoy serving some much needed time, Mister White Collar Crime!””

The Chief of Police tried to shush her, but Ruby pointed a stern index finger at him as an officer pushed down on his head to guide him into a police car.

Ruby: “Victimless crimes my hiney! Do you even realize how many families living in poverty could’ve been fed with the money you embezzled? And how many members of those families wouldn’t have had to turn to crime as an act of desperation to survive, just because the law breaking fat cats were hogging all the money they didn’t even need for themselves??”

The Chief of Police, COP for short, had enough. He grabbed her by the waist and gently yet firmly guided her the other way.

COP: “Okay, you made your point. Keep that rhetoric up though and you’ll be branded a commy by FOX. I know this is Illinois, but still… The media control the story, right?”

Ruby: “Fine, fine! I guess you’re right! I caught the guy, now it’s up to the courts to let justice prevail!”

At that time, the police line was disturbed by the smallest of appearances, who was trying to break through the line of police officers. The COP raised his eyebrows, but Ruby immediately recognised her.

Ruby: “Yo, that’s my gal! My sidekick! Chief Commish, do me a solid and let her through?”

The COP sighed, and waved at his officers holding the line. None other than Pebbles, masked and clad in her lime-banana outfit, jogged towards her mentor. One of the stalwarts of the XWF’s minis Division, Pebbles was a phenomenal competitor in her own right and height. And she loved justice as much as Ruby did.

Ruby: “Pebbles! There you are!””

Pebbles: “Rubes! I am so sorry, the moment I got your message I came as fast as my legs could carry me.”

Ruby: “Well flip, my gal, that’s a rookie mistake! Always rely on gadgets and machinery. Flesh and blood will only do so much in the battle against pure evil. So shave some time off of those 64 minutes it took you to get here, eh? Nevertheless, I’m glad you made it. Do a canvas sweep, and that one thing you overheard in Brooklyn 99 you cracked up over.”

Pebbles smiled and saluted.

Pebbles: “Yes, ma’am! Expect a report by sunrise!”

Pebbles darted off and Ruby grinned with contentment. She had taught her well. Pebbles was everything she was, in an even tinier package. She was very, very proud of her.

Ruby: “See? That’s how you get things done! Always try and get the best out of people. Only the soil of ill-attended gardens receive zero sunlight, you know?”

The COP shrugged and walked off. Ruby took the Go-pro from her shoulder and aimed it directly at her face.

Ruby: “My flipsoes! What did we learn tonight? Well, I learned nothing, but I CAN say that an age old belief of mine has been reaffirmed. See, I never grew up poor. But we never grew up wealthy either. My dad had an administrative function at a hospital in Ottawa, and my mother was a nurse there. They worked hard, and they had an okay salary that allowed them to live in relative comfort and raise a daughter they loved very much. AKA me, my gang! I’ve always been outspoken about my fantastic relationship with my parents. I love them, and they support me. But I am *very* glad they taught me the value of hard work. And they were only able to do that because they were neither rich or particularly privileged.

Which is why Big Money Ozzo can admittedly grind my gears at times. My guy, you have clearly lost the way. You’re loaded for sure, but you look more like the crook I just put away. Or someone who was born into fortune and doesn’t properly appreciate it. I know, my mans is rich as flip, and I won’t deny that makes things easy and fun. But he too has known his hardships. And every time he splashes out and spoils me, I am grateful. I don’t take it for granted. I take nothing for granted. Not him, not this match against you, and not the respect of the fans. I keep working and grinding as I always have, and always will.

Yes, even despite the fact that Vita seemingly had already won our block with a match to spare. My girl’s on fire! Not literally of course, unless she exposed herself to the sun. Which is likelier at this time of year than ever. But I will try to go for my max attainable score in the Plump Pidge Tourney, no matter if it matters. It matters to me. And Ozzo will either remember where he comes from, or sit back and remain motionless. Either way works for me. So meet me on Thursday, my flippies. Either way, we’ll once again be one step closer to Order on Anarchy.”


-end broadcast-

[Image: dY7KZz4.png]
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Not so victimless - by Ruby - 06-22-2022, 01:39 PM



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