Bilbo rolls up in his lowered mobility scooter with ground effects and 22" rims. He's pimp as fuck. Big gold chain with a giant B hanging around his neck like Flavor Flav but white and crippled and probably less AIDS.

"Sup Big D. You never called me after I twerked my little ass all up on that dick at the Honey Pot down in Tampa. You remember, right? I was taking key bumps of AZT in the bathroom and I saw your fine tight behind out there on the dance floor getting low to RuPaul's "Supermodel." God DAMN you knew how to get a dick hard. Christ. I almost ruptured my cock ring. But then after I bumped and grinded all up on those vinyl hot pants and made it clap for you, you blew me off? You ghosted me? What kind of shit is that?"

"Listen D, I'm not gay. I just needed the drugs. But I didn't get all the drugs, my N. I need some rock, you feel me? I'm trying to speak wigger right now so you'll understand me. Look, what I'm getting at is you obviously live in the ghetto and therefore you can get me some crack. I need a plug. Maybe two plugs, since the one in my ass fell in. Give me some pies and I'l jack that beefy dick next time you hit Da Club."

"On second thought, you have weirdly symmetrical nipples and that freaks me out. I need a big titty bitch with nips pointing different directions like Tiny Lister's eyes. Seeing ninnies like yours makes me think of that one Ancient Aliens episode where they talk about how the pyramids all line up with other pyramids on the other side of the world. Freaky shit. You have conspiracy theory nipples. You know what else is a good conspiracy theory? The green monkey. That's where AIDS came from. Most people think it's bullshit but I have a secret, D."
































"I fucked that monkey."











Bilbo pins D.

pin