We open on Madison Dyson, sitting in a high backed leather chair inside an ornate study like she's hosting Masterpiece Theater or some shit. She takes a deep drag on a Cuban cigar and lets the smoke out in a series of rings before addressing the camera.

Oh, hello! And welcome to another episode of Madison Dyson Presents: HOT TOPICS! You pussies didn't respond to my last one because it was too controversial, so I guess I'll have to let my foot off the gas and slow things down for you spineless suck magnets.

She places the cigar in the ash tray beside her.

The XWF is, above all, about competition. Skill. Finesse! It is the purest exhibition of athletic prowess in the known world. The Olympics can go blow. The Special Olympics can get fucked. And the NFL can go stroke out to it's stupid concussion protocol. So it's only fitting that, for this installment, we discuss this strange and wonderful company that pays us so handsomely in money and/or hardcore narcotics. More specifically, we will discuss who the best and brightest are on today's current roster with an exacting and scholarly debate on who is, technically speaking, the best XWF athlete today!

Madison sits quietly for a moment, before busting into an obnoxious cackle. Just kidding! We're gonna talk about who's HOT! Yeah, that's right! Who on the roster do you most want to raw dog until your uglies get chapped?! Once again, I'll kick things off!



JAMES RAVEN! Hoooooo my God, the things I'd do. James, you got an itch your current missus won't let you scratch? Give Maddy a jingle jangle. Honey, I won't say no to ANYTHING.

SERIOUSLY.


Mmmmmm....

Maddy day dreams for a bit before snapping to it.

Alright you fluffers, sound off on your coworker's fuckability. I'll make sure HR is good and distracted. Now if you'll excuse me I need to...attend....to....something....