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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF OOC » Out Of Character (OOC) Board
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BRRAAIINNSSS!!! Oh wait... I mean feedback
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Corey Smith Offline
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XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#3
02-13-2019, 07:30 AM

I only got to read "Making Friends", so what I have to say is based solely on that. It seems you have a real knack for writing characters who are a bit off the beaten path. I loved the fact that you made lacking shoes the central theme of the beginning of your promo. It's such an odd conundrum to have, and kind of silly. I'm assuming it was carry over from your writing before that. If it isn't, I think I actually like that more. Smile

If you haven't already, I think it might be fun to touch more on the day in and day out logistics of being a zombie that isn't actively homocidal. Where do you get your supply from? I'm assuming Zane must have some strange connections to keep himself satiated. What are those connections like? Again, you may have already done this so if you have, I apologize.

The promo itself was serviceable. As a rule of thumb though I like to take as little time defending myself as possible. When you defend yourself I find it often makes you come across as weaker, and usually in promo battles you want to seem as dominant as possible and own the narrative. Don't be afraid to give Zane a bit more edge in future installments. He's definitely not a heelish or villianous chaacter, but that doesn't mean he can't clap back hard.

[Image: CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406]
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BRRAAIINNSSS!!! Oh wait... I mean feedback - by Corey Smith - 02-13-2019, 07:30 AM



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