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Megalomaniac.
09-12-2017, 09:55 PM
Post: #1





He took a long pull from the cigarette, making the flaking tip light up a bright orange. The light cast interesting shadows on his face, lighting up the right side of his face, the cancer-stick hung out loosely between his lips.

You’ve been smoking an awful tonne.

We’ve been smoking an awful tonne.


I thought we’d at least refer to each other as individuals… In our heads.

Oh, it’s the not speaking that makes us feel like we’re suddenly two people?


Mr. Imperial took another pull of the cigarette, lighting up the right side of his face again.

”Perhaps it’ll be easier for us if we speak… Outloud.

You know the camera’s are here, we’re prepping for a segment.

Taking another drag to light up his face just as he speaks,

”We’re sorry, what was that again?

The trail of smoke leaked out of the tip, and his mouth as he exhaled, shrouding his face almost completely in the dim lighting. A mischievous smile danced on his lips as the tip’s glow dimmed, shrouding his face in darkness once more.

You know what? I’m done with your games. FINE.

The cigarette lit up yet another time, but this time hung out of the left side of his mouth. The change cast the shadows across the right side of his face, illuminating only the left side. The glow was just enough to see his face as Danny spoke once more.

”Are we happy now?”

The camera crew inside the room fumbles, slightly confused. Danny Imperial doesn’t seem to be looking at them, rather at some far-off distance in the darkness. His face is scrunched up in annoyance and his hands runs through to supposedly take his hair off his face. With his tongue, he shifts the cigarette to the opposite side of his mouth, taking in yet another drag, shorter this time.

”There’s our team player, isn’t this much better? And since we’re all on the same page, why don’t we get started?”

Danny Imperial beckons the camera crew with his right hand, just bending his index finger towards him. The crew hurriedly move in closer to him, but maintain a reasonable distance, enough to capture his whole body in the shot.

”Ladies and gentlemen, we’d cordially like to welcome you to the new era of, the… Fuck, what did we decide to call this?”

The cigarette does yet another hop from one side to the other.

”We just can’t get ourselves to say it because we thought it was cheesy, but it’s true really, the Imperial Dynasty.

Danny retches a little, choking it back by covering his mouth, making sure to grab the cigarette so it doesn’t fall out of his mouth.

”We really did come up with one stupid fucking sounding name, didn’t we? But we guess it’s really our prerogative, we all have to be a little cliché sometimes. If we’re going to have to start cleaning the ranks of the XWF, the least we could do is have some fun with it, are we right?”

Danny Imperial straightens his back, and the light happens to fall on him just to reveal what he’s wearing. A perfectly pressed three-piece black suit, with a white shirt underneath it, the collar tight against his neck and a thin red tie that was pressed against his chest. A hand comes up to adjust the knot of the tie, making sure it’s tightly wrapped around his neck. He adjusts his cigarette to the left side before continuing to speak.

”You ever wonder why we still wear ties? We’re sure at least some of you know how the custom came about. Scarves to protect your neck from the cold slowly devolved into this pathetic excuse for a blanket. We wear it tightly around our necks, a majority of the time making us look like strangled mice.

Strangled mice.

That’s not such a bad idea, is it? Having something wrapped around your neck for easy access.

Easy access to what you ask? To being strangled, hung by a rope, suffocated, asphyxiated. A way out. Life getting too weird, or complicated? Just wrap your tie around a sturdy object of sufficient height and tadah! You’ve got a straight ticket to whatever form of afterlife you subscribe to, nifty isn’t it? You see, sometimes when you start losing the ability to tell between reality and the voices in your head, it’s good to have a contingency just hanging around. We won’t let us do it though. But it makes us feel safe just knowing it’s there, we hate it really.”


The camera crew look to each other for some form of explanation, having no idea what Danny is talking about, or who he’s talking about even. They notice as the cigarette makes its way across the man’s lips.

”I mean, fuck, of course we wouldn’t let us do it. Not when there’s so much left for us to accomplish, not when there’re so many people left to pay for their crimes, not when filth is so prevalent in a place we call home. Way out? HAH! We don’t deserve that solace yet, no no, that’s why we’re even here. To make sure we don’t get out of a situation where promises we made have yet to be fulfilled. We wouldn’t, ever, allow something so irresponsible to be done by us. Heh. But we let us have our little bits of comforts every now and then, the tie, the psychosis medication, whatever helps us sleep better at night.

Perhaps a story will help you understand the conundrum of Danny Imperial a little better. Imagine one day, opening the front door of your lovely little home, after a long day of work at that. You’re exhausted, your head is aching and you just can’t wait to drop your shit and crack open a cold one. Just then, just as you drop your briefcase on the floor and recall that you don’t have a loved one to call out to, you see him. You see a man, refined, but savage, classy but ruthless, clean shaven but with grit, just sitting there on your couch. YOUR COUCH. Or at least what you thought was your couch.

You’d approach him wouldn’t you? Your head would still be throbbing from your tough day, or week perhaps, and you’d ask what he was doing there. “Lived here all my life, buddy o’, thanks for the Cheerios” he says back to you. You’d stand there flabbergasted, confused out of your mind about what’s going on here. The man would sit you down, throw you an ice cold beer and start explaining the situation. Live here all his life, took turns with the rooms and the bathrooms so he wouldn’t disturb, your silent roommate, your unobtrusive shadow.

One day though, he realised it was enough. He’d seen you come home day in and day out with nothing to prove but the sweat dripping between your ass crack and the bruises on your face. Nothing but sadness and regret etched onto every wrinkle on your face. He couldn’t stand it anymore so he decided to intrude. To face you head on and wake you the fuck up. It’d all be a little overwhelming, for the first few weeks, months perhaps, doesn’t help that apparently nobody else can see him either. You catching out drift?

So you can understand when we need a little help to cope sometimes, I’m sure. Or when we slip up and say some stupid shit sometimes, just be patient with us. Just…. Be considerate. We mean, if you aren’t we don’t really give a flying fuck, but you know, it might be pleasant. “


Danny Imperial shrugs his shoulders, pacing slightly to one side now. Flickers of light catch him, and he looks bigger somewhat, built up and slightly… Heavier.

”Now someone you don’t have to be patient with, because let’s be honest, that patience is all worn out… Chris Chaos. This little amalgamation of filth of is STILL running about showing his face in this fucking company? we thought The Kings had him and his goonies by the throat? Main seemed to slip out of existence, we guess Caedus still has a rod up his ass and thinks he’s still top of the world, Graves vanished into oblivion but Chaos. The arrogant little megalomaniac is still strutting about? Fuck, they even let him run one of those shows last week. What the fuck is even going on?

Does dropping a STD farm and pretending he’s suddenly the epitome of all things abysmal give you a free pass to run shit around here? We’re actually the epitome of all things without order and we’ve kept my little friend pretty fucking clean all my life, where’s my chance to run the show? Ya’ll done fucked up, really. Like didn’t the man already have a problem with bending the rules and flexing his muscle? Who in the right mind thought it was a good idea to give him an opportunity to do this on a show-level scale? Good job guys, really, good job.

Now he thinks he’s some evaluation scheme for people who come to the XWF? We mean, if you hang around here long enough, sure you get to face some big names. And sure, he’s had his shining moments where he beat big names. Hasbeens and neverbeens, let’s clap for the little fucker. Maybe when he takes the Universal Championship back we’ll think his words have some credit. Isn’t that the only bloody test of stardom that matters here? The person who’s holding the title is the biggest name in the business, he’s the one who lets you see who’s worth it and who isn’t. Not some transsexual Barbie doll that’s still looking for his Ken to come calling. Disgusting.

You said so little actually to me this week that we might actually be at a loss for words. Even two of these heads can’t seem to find the words to describe you. Sing us a little song and write us pretty poems Chrissy, because come this Wednesday, you might need to look for a new job. Well… You might not really be able to sing much after we’re done with you, but you can always write us pretty things, we mean if Stephen Hawking can dissect the intricacies of space-time on that wheelchair of his, we’re sure we could get you to write one of your haiku’s or something. We’ll pay someone to hold a bunch of disgusting magazines of ladies and men who look underage for you too, we heard they have a whole industry in Japan just for mentally-sick fucks like you. So rest assured, we aren’t so heartless that we’d leave you on the streets, we’ve got a heart after all.”


Danny removes the now mostly extinguished cigarette from his lips, flicking it to the floor and off the frame. He turns to face the camera directly and his expression softens quite a bit.

”We really do thank you for giving us this time to… Share a little piece of our minds. Thank you, and have a nice day, the fans, the XWF and of course, Chris Chaos.”

[Image: giphy.webp]

The camera crew takes the cue, cutting the recording just as he turns away from them.

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Megalomaniac. - DannyImperial - 09-12-2017 09:55 PM
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