:PF 17 31707 1:
What the fuck is this??? Ghost Tank? Are you the 2015 replacement for John Black or Theo Pryce or some shit? How the fuck is there a guy named Ghost Tank? That implies you've chosen that ring name since it can't possibly be your real name. Somehow, somewhere there was a time when you had all the choices in the world for names and you felt content with--


Ghost


Tank.


What the fuck is a ghost tank supposed to be anyway? Are we talking a literal army tank that has the big ass gun on it? Is this in reference to how any shots you fire off are also of a specter-like nature, just passing right through motherfuckers without even harming them and without them even realizing you're trying to hurt them? I guess after some thought it sounds like you did choose the perfect name after all.

Now how about you go fire off some of those Wes Craven shots in the neighborhood cemetery instead of aiming your shit at living, breathing, successful athletes such as myself? I wouldn't even want to waste my time beating you in a match because I don't think they record wins over fucking ghosts in the books! There'd be a slot for a match with no name filled in and just some jizz splattered along the boxes and people would ask "what's this shit?" and somebody would have to remember each time to explain that it's the time Mister Mystery exorcised the XWF of some poltergeist who asked for a blowjob before he got blown all the way back to WW1, where he will forever be trapped alongside Sebastian Duke's last known piece of relevance.

Some deep breaths and his hands on top of his head, the Poppa of the XWF tries to remain calm and peaceful so his heart doesn't explode.