Kristy Jackson
The Joan Of Charisma
XWF FanBase: Kids, women, some teens (fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by adult males)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Tue Jan 28 2014
Posts: 126
36,326
Likes Given: 66
Likes Received: 94 in 56 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 4 in 4 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 4 in 4 posts
Reputation:
21
X-Bux: ✘75,000
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02-11-2014, 05:16 PM
(02-11-2014, 05:13 PM)Super Mutant Dogerlord Said: Okay, read this bitch full length and thought it was a pretty solid piece. However, in the story sections (and this is just a pet peeve of mine) you repeated the same word as the first in the sentence multiple times in a row, which kind of in my eyes can hurt story flow. Nothing too major but just a thing to play around with.
As for your trash talk, I thought it was again solid as shit. However, there were some grammar errors and an entire sentence that makes no sense in: Jealous of the fact; that people like me?
Mainly, I have to say take your time and proofread stuff and you'll be fine.
Thanks going to work on it more lol
THE FUCKED UP RESULT OF A COLLISION BETWEEN FIRE AND ICE, STEP COUSIN TO A WARM PUDDLE...
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