I feel it's hard to give feedback since I predominantly write comedy and that's not your style.

I will say I liked it, it was clear and the imagery being painted that Main is now an outlaw in the wilds avoiding getting bushwhacked to demonstrate the persistence of everybody trying to pin him for the title was clever.

The question to ask is whether you were left satisfied and fulfilled by what you wrote. Would you take it and show it to someone completely unfamiliar with eFedding and the nuances within? Do you feel you put forth an earnest effort to create something someone would want to read that was also a reflection of yourself, unique to your voice?

Again, I have a very different style, so I don't know what I could offer besides a way to completely warp the whole thing and make it ridiculous and silly.