I'll take a crack at it. Welcome back.

First off, I liked how totally insane this was. The fucking bear (which I honestly don't know the backstory on admittedly I've only followed you intermittently), the jumping down and breaking both your legs and walking it off. I liked the repeated allusions to the color green. Color often goes unplayed with in writing, myself included, and I think having an almost "color motif" is pretty neat. That imagery immediately played out in my head, meaning you did something right for sure. "Mind vagina" is now a term that has entered by lexicon so kudos for that, lol. I'm down with over the top and nutso.

However, and I know this will seem hypocritical given what I just said, but sometimes less can be more. Avoid try-hardedness in your writing. Show, don't tell. Don't tell the world your nuts, show them. I know you did that too, but some parts of this, like the "screams" part seemed a little bleh to me. Also, try to vary your language up a bit, sometimes you repeated words in consecutive sentences which isn't a cardinal sin, but in this case I think a little diversity would have suited your purposes. I think you are also one of those people who would benefit from a little explainer box at the start of your promo giving some history, unless of course you want people to come in cold and be shocked by the pure strangeness of it all.

All in all, welcome back. Stay crazy, show more don't tell, and maybe fill us in on the backstory a bit.