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Lacklan · (05-31-2019)

Thank you for coming. Now, today's potential ruling is about one Unknown Ned Kaye. Mr. Midcarder has made his "name" for himself in these parts mostly by tweeting simplistic one-line "summations" about other people's promos, or perhaps mentioning an upcoming XWF card in such an ineffective way which no one axly comes to the show who wasn't already going to. Clearly, Mr Meh's XWF record of 4-4 is not what has earned him this "hype" or "push" of his, to use a word favored by our own Noah, nor is it what garnered him the attention of our World Champion (#MainFearsSar), and certainly not what earned him the award, and subsequent 2 bonus #CoolPoints, of Superstar of the Month. Therefor, these things must be because of this aforementioned "amazing" tweeting of his. To this end, I bring this piece of evidence forward:

Now, IF Jobs to Rats Ned Kaye WAS a quality tweeter and hype man, as his Superstar of the Month accolade seems to be the result of, I have to wonder about the circled portion of this "amazing" hype tweet. Ms. Valentine (Double V, if you will) and I have barely interacted, much less wrestled, and as such there is no "rematch" occurring tonight. While you CAN wonder why our match is a cage match (little silly, tbh), you canNOT pass on the "amazing" tweet skills of Feckless Ned Kaye being so wrong.

But! I am sure that some people will be all, "HE MADE A MISTAKE, OH BLOOD PRINCESS OF HAWTNESS, WHY ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF HIM," and to this I say: If your entire success in this company is predicated on your tweet and hype skills, as his record against anyone worth a damn indicates it MUST be, then I INSIST that he get his facts correctly. Hell, it doesn't even take a deep dive into my conveniently compiled XWF match record to know that V-to-the-V and I have never locked horns! We BOTH SAID SO in our promotional videos!

This matters, dear sirs, because if you ARE going to get "over," to use the vernacular of the streets, in this fed based on your twit skills, then I INSIST that what you tweet makes sense! I INSIST that you AXLY know what you are talking about! What is next?! Is Anonymous Ned Kaye going to talk about how Kuda's representative is black? Or that Noah said "vagina" 27 times in his promo? Or that the Massachusetts Pissbaby successfully read and understood the rules of the company before pulling a Kid Kool? No! I REFUSE to allow him to BLATANTLY get things WRONG and be REWARDED with the fanfare of company and peers alike for these shitty online skills!

The question before you, dear sirs, to which I seek advice is this:

Since I consider it an AFFRONT to my OWN Superstar of the Month Award (gained by whooping major ass and putting my name into the XWF record books!) by HIS award being based PURELY on his tweet/hype skills, which I have SHOWN to be shitty, how STRONGLY should my letter to Vinniefred be DEMANDING that they rescind Faceless Ned Kaye's award? Should I send one letter with my typical flowery language? Or perhaps start an entire writing campaign?

I thank you for your time.

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