What miniature D and Donovan “muttonhead” Blackwater demand will never materialize no matter how much each of these good-for-nothing bums tries. They both will under no circumstances unearth the holy grail they each seek. These two simpletons weren’t brought into this world for awe-inspiring things, nor to pinpoint a noticeable place in the wrestling industry. These two braindead underachievers could shoot for the moon every day, grind for what they believe is warranted, yet there are no paths leading to victory, not while a true pioneer like Robert Main wears the crown. Skimpy D & Donovan “lame duck” Blackwater talk as if each of them can dream their way out of this cage with the Universal Championship in hand.



Shriveled D… I’m known to say some outlandish things, but for some reason, I thought I overheard you saying that IF you became Universal Champion you’d be wrestling on the next edition of Warfare. IF YOU BECOME CHAMPION? Stumpy D tell me in what reality you defeat me and become Champion? This isn’t the Twilight Zone, there’s no witch flying on a broom. This is real life, and playing make-believe will get you crippled. Everybody already knows on the next Warfare you won’t be in attendance, not because you didn’t win the Championship. No. Because Robert Main knocked you around like a piñata. Are you listening to what you are saying? Or do you just vomit from the mouth every time a camera gets shoved in your face? This illustrious career you claim to have is about to go right down the drain.


Big D's career




You’ve been circling the toilet longer than you realize pal, now I get to be the man that burst the bubble and bring you back down to planet Earth. When I signed on the dotted line I fake shit my pants. No, but really, I laughed so hard I might have peed just a drop or two. I listened to that first promo of yours and thought it gave me a concussion. I asked the medical team there at the hospital several times to recheck my hearing. Because the shit you were rambling on about didn’t translate. You can’t lose not after everything that you have been through. Right? We’ll see what tune your singing after I stomp on that oversized head until it's black and blue. You’re going to need a tall ladder to get up to my level here in the XWF. I’m the pinnacle, you should never measure the height or a mountain until you reach the top shit for brains.

Robert after listening to Big D's promo

You are so overwhelmed by senselessness you can’t even see that you're poking a legend in the chest, you’re getting fed to a great white shark and you don’t even notice it. You want to come at me with this green eggs and ham shit? I come to dinner with a steak knife and chain saw. This match is self-assassination. Now I’m going to invasively break you down bit by bit until there isn’t one damn morsel left. When you were a child you wrestled in your parents living room? This is the best you got? This is supposedly a cut above the rest, industry leading? This isn’t one-in-a-million Hoss or top notch by a long shot. Here you are shooting at a live grenade with a BB gun. When I speak your hearing top-notch skill at work. If you want to tell stories no one cares about head down to the local nursing home.







The only out-of-body experience these two dimwits will experience is the sweet dreams while locked inside a coma. Shrimp D & Donovan “coattails” Blackwater will tell the world to tune in and watch as the viewers stumble across a new and improved version of their selves, one that only sees the golden opportunities. That they can disregard all the pandemonium circling them, the hindrances and obstructions in their colossal moment will fall on deaf ears. Robert can see through this he knows his opponents don't believe in themselves. He can see it in their eyes, hear it roll off the tip of their shaky tongues. They both know doing battle with “The Omega” means one thing. Lights out!



You bored me to tears. If you had an original thought, I’d be dumbfounded. Midget D every single child on this planet wrestled in their parents living room, we all had a make-believe championship belt. Doing this doesn’t make you big-time in the least bit. It makes you normal, average, run of the mill. It makes you look like a rookie, green around the gills. While you were playing kids games I was wrestling my way to my first NCAA Championship in collage. I’ve got a plaque on my wall in my office at the house saying I can put you on your ass, not to mention a brass ring in my back pocket. I knew at a very early age what it was like to be called a Champion and the weight it carried. I was a technical wrestler before the word was ever even thought about being said on live television. Look at how many times I’ve been pinned to the canvas if that tells you anything at all. As we kept traveling down your humdrum, uninteresting, uninspiring memory lane what did we learn?



Not shit, nothing relevant to this match what so ever. You rambled on, we all watched the dick sucker’s flap, but nothing came out. Who gives a flying shit about any of those wrestlers you had a hard-on over? Hell, I’ve never even heard of any of them and I know astonishing athletes all over this planet. These good for nothing lightweight talentless hacks couldn’t lace my fucking boots, and if you don’t think so tell um to come on down and I’ll bury their ass right after you. I live here, in reality, XWF is the cream of the crop, the top origination on the planet. I’ve wrestled for the biggest wrestling promotions all over the world and the ones you mention wasn’t even on the Indy circuit. Tell me where this washed up shit shack of an origination is now? Belly up, gone, finished. As a matter of fact, why in the hell are we talking about the irrelevant?



That’s why you are here in the XWF. Those Championships you won don’t mean dick here, they won’t move you up the ladder here. You are and always will be at the bottom of the totem pole. What matters around here is the Championship that I drape over my shoulder. The one you think you can obtain with lackluster wrestling and shit talent. I’m the end all be all here. You could take any one of these World Champions you faced in the past and I would crush them with one arm tied behind my back. Wargames you demonstrated that you are not righteous enough to wear the crown let alone step inside the ring with me. Everything that you did wasn’t overshadowed by The Lover Boy or the QUEEN OF XWF. No one remembers second place they recognize the Champion. They reminisce about APEX. They dwell upon G.O.A.T.S. They flashback to CENT being a one-man wrecking crew. Tiny D they think of people like us. It’s not the other way around. How delusional you are?




All these men have is hope going in, they are the long shot, and no matter how much wood they knock on. Or promise their selves, they are an inadequate flicker against the raging winds known as Robert “The Omega” Main. Even with the open eyes of a child, these men can reach out, fingers extended. In that juncture, they will have to make a choice that will forever change their careers. Bend at the knee or fall to the sword. Incarcerated behind the unforgiving, bloodthirsty monster known as hell in a cell, these two will make the decision to chase after fool’s gold. As Robert closes in the dying cinder in each of their hearts will be reduced to ash against the numbing howl of Robert Main.



You insisted I sought after an easy match against Ned? Look in the merroir you freaking nimrod. Facing you and Blackwater is a WAY easier match. I’ll say this at the very least Ned had substance. Wargames you fucking tapped out to Mastermind. Of all the people in the world.. Jesus, you know how many times I’ve tapped? NEVER! I have the balls to dig deep and push forward even when the pain is unbearable. You’ll never see me break and tap the canvas like a bitch. You waved the white flag and you’ll do it again. You and Blackwater are not entitled to this match The Queen is. I went on at Wargames with my compadres and faced four legends in the wrestling business. Are you going to chalk that up as an unchallenging match as well? If you and your team faced Team Page at Wargames, those hooligans would have taken over the XWF, they’d be wearing your intestines as trophies around their necks.



There would have been only so much our The Queen could have done when accompanied by morons. Yet here you are giving me shit? Jack please I’ve faced more top-five talent then you’ll ever face here in the XWF and I came out as the winner. One of the four sole survivors. You name um I’ve been in the ring with them. I’m the kingpin of this company, little bitty D you are the king of the mid-cards. Do you know why no one respects you? It’s because you haven’t earned said, respect dickhead. You walk around here like people are just supposed to open doors for you and bow at your feet. You are nothing here, but an overhyped ungifted, unimaginative, inexperienced, amateur who is about to be taken to the woodshed. You are unqualified to even be in the main event let alone wrestle for the Universal Championship.



Big D after his huge Wargames performance




What lies ahead is an unwalkable road. Even if these two did their damnedest it would lead them on an expedition into a land devoid of hope. Robert Main is Judgment Day, Armageddon, Ragnarök all rolled into one catastrophe. It’s one thing to look back and realize you were the darkness, it is quite another to leer ahead and realize your days in the shining sun are numbered. For micro D & Donovan “lightweight” Blackwater will struggle in a skirmish unlike they have ever witnessed as the ground beneath their feet crumbles, sending them spinning into a nightmare neither one of them can wake from. This hopelessness is an impermeable blackness, the way these men thought they would push forward will have vanished to black by the end of their evening, they will realize in the end it was like they were never there at all. The very concept of hope will become meaningless after Robert ravages, vaporizing the two so-called number one contenders to ash.



Overwhelming you is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys. You are a handicap crotch stain no one ever wanted! You’re as bad as herpes, you just won’t go away. Never fear doctor Main is here. The only thing that you know how to do, and I mean literally, is blow hot air up everyone's ass and pray they don’t see the real you. In one of the biggest events of the year, you were team fucking captain and got submitted. Yet you really believe deep down you won’t lose to me. Kid, I’ll smother you. (Robert makes a gurgling sound) I've been sitting back watching the shit show through a busted eye and staples in my head thinking to myself this is the number one threat to the Championship. An egotistical ass hat whose ego is bigger than Chris Chaos’s. I bet you feel great about yourself right about now. Thinking you have this all in the bag. Thinking you won. Winning out loud and in the ring against me are not one on the same. Especially locked away inside a cage. The carnage stops when I see fit.



Have you not watched anything I have done over the past few years? Each man who has tried has fallen beneath my feet. Warfare hell in a cell I sign your death certificate. You're half-assed at best. but it's always good to know that half-assed seems to be the glass ceiling for you. Do us a favor and try not to break through it because you might injure yourself. Vinny don’t need another insurance claim. The man’s got enough issues as it is, trying to choose what flavor of vape juice is a bitch. Peanut D your helpless shit man, competitors like yourself don't deserve to be in a ring with me! It’s that simple. You won't be able to keep up with a maverick You and Blackwater are both the flavor of the month. We all know you are inconsistent and undependable in the ring. Neither one of you will ever be marvelous enough to be unparalleled, this temporary shot at the Universal Championship will be your very last! Cherish it. Because this won’t happen again. I make people like the two of you relevant!



After Warfare life for underdeveloped D & Donovan “flop” Blackwater will become invalid. An unilluminated worthless void. Never-Ending fruitless darkness that will devour their very existence, these two men will be left feeling nothing. Vacant, uninhabited, unoccupied, abandoned. There will be nothing to moderate their expressionless souls that now slithers in the shadows, away from any other human life. The hollowness will become overbearing. These men will pretend that everything is okay. They will become clowns with painted happy faces camouflaging their remorse, gloom and sorrow. As they sit in the pit of a world they each had a hand in creating for themselves, the only embellishments being the nail marks on the wall they could not scale. These two will realize there isn’t light at the top of the mountain.

Former:

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