AlexandraCallaway
Demon or Angel? You decide!
XWF FanBase: Mixed reactions (cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)
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Joined: Tue Jun 25 2013
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07-31-2013, 01:45 PM
Can I get some feedback or constructive criticism for my Warfare rps for this week?
First
Second
Third
1x UFO E1999 Champion
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Jessie-ica Diaz
Only to find it again.
XWF FanBase: Mixed reactions (cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Mon Jun 10 2013
Posts: 833
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07-31-2013, 06:19 PM
Really liked all three pieces, but there's two complaints that I have with them. I'll air them here, if I may.
1. Using colored text for dialogue is good and fine (I use it for all my dialogue, except small characters, fuck them) but using colored text and putting the character whose text color it is' name with it is overkill. Pet peeve, really.
2. The subtle actions in the middle of pieces of dialogue could use more in the vain of splitting the paragraph into two, and giving the action a line on its own. Again, pet peeve.
So yeah, my two cents on the matter.
I think I'm broke by now though.
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John Msdison 2.Faggot
Guest
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(Where is my roster page?)
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08-02-2013, 02:08 PM
I'd lighten the text color a bit too. I never liked dark on dark, it's a bit unpleasant to read at times, especially if it's paragraphs.
I liked your third though. It was a solid trash talk piece.
I noticed that you don't really come at your opponents that hard in the other two pieces though. That's cool, but I would try to get a better story going in the background and not just a standard sit-down interview. Mr. Satellite is a good example of this. He'll have some crazy story going on but then he transitions into a sitdown interview with Steve Sayors.
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