CHELSEA LECLAIR PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:

A SPECIAL POST-WAR GAMES INTERVIEW!

Chelsea LeClair is outside a door that says DRUNKY KONG on it! She holds a microphone with a smile on her face as she begins to speak.

“Good evening, XWF fans! I’m Chelsea LeClair. I am outside of the DRUNKY KONG LOCKER ROOM hoping to get a quick word with them after they got their asses handed to them. Wait, something is happening…”

Chelsea pauses as she hears a screaming match going on between a man and a woman.

“YOU USELESS OLD HAG…” the man is heard screaming from behind.

“Kevin… honey… can you not call me that?” Chelsea hears her mother from inside the room.

“I was calling your CHARACTER that… not you, Rhonda. And don’t call me honey…”

“UGH! IN LAWS!”

Chelsea bangs on the door with annoyance hearing her husband and mother break character on camera. There is some silence before the ‘argument’ resumes.

“I don’t even know why I had to TEAM with you, SIDNEY!”

“You’re the one with the 10 CENT DICK…”

“How would you know, grandma?”

“It seems like there is trouble in paradise! Let’s go check it out!”

Chelsea enters the mock locker room to find her husband dressed like a centenary warrior and her mother dressed elegantly with a black wig and a Burger King paper crown.

“Centurion… Sidney… hi! Chelsea here! So, tonight? Well… what went wrong?”

“I’ll tell you what went wrong…” Kevin as Centurion says. “THIS WINDBAG fucked me!”

“...I would NEVER…” her mother as Sidney Grey adds. “And neither would any other woman. It’s not my fault that you weren’t man enough to hang on before I had to save you… AGAIN! YOU’RE the one that tapped out! What happened to someone that’s such a legend? Even if it’s in his own mind!”

“I’m more of a legend than you! If you’re so good, how come you couldn’t overcome the three on one advantage?”

“I… um… well… I don’t have the stamina I used to…”

“Clearly not…” Chelsea interjects.

“Shut up Chelsea, the adults are talking. Maybe you should just… I don’t know… go do a strip tease or something….”

“She’d be a more enjoyable strip tease than YOU’D ever ben OLD LADY!”

“CLEARLY, your lack of ability to coexist cost you both at WarGames…”

“NO, Sidney not being a team player did…” Kevin interrupts.

“NO! Being ABANDONED by the rest of my team did!”

“Sidney, how come you never take responsibility for anything?” Chelsea asks as she raises an eyebrow. “It seems like everything else is always someone else’s fault.”

“Because it is…” Chelsea’s mother says with an exaggerated scoff and a hair flip. “Not everyone can be a king that gets by on having plastic surgery and botox fillers over a million times you know.”

“We lost because of YOU, woman…”

“Centurion, if you’re such a legend and this big shot… how in the world did you give up so damn easily to a Fujiwara armbar?”

“Hey, have YOU ever been in one, Chelsea?”


“I have and I’ve broken out of the hold multiple times.”

“SEE? Even WANNABE SIDNEY GREY can escape that hold! You’re such a pussy! This was ALL YOUR FAULT!”

“No it’s YOUR FAULT!”

“NO YOURS!”

“Suck my dick, old hag”

“You wish I would, bitch boy!”

Chelsea can only hold back her laughter as she watches her husband and mother engage in a pretend sissy slap fight as she exits the locker room and closes the door.

“My GOD, it’s like you’re both a married couple or something. Here’s my take on this. You two? You’ve been hating each other for how long now? Your WarGames team was doomed from the start! There was no way you were going to coexist especially once you two were the only ones left on your team. So, I think as far as THIS match between us on Anarchy is concerned, you are both going to focus on each other SO badly that you’re going to forget about me and hey, that’s perfectly fine with me, that leaves room for me to sneak in the backdoor and surprise one of you… not like I NEED to win like that because I KNOW that on any given night against any given opponent, I CAN win…”

Chelsea pauses as she hears the sound of a vase break from inside.

“You know the sad part, though? Despite your differences, that’s a match you STILL should’ve won! If Centurion is SUCH a big name and if Sidney is THAT great because she’s this ‘king’ or whatever, that STILL should’ve been enough to overcome the other side. I understand Mark Flynn was on the other side but STILL! In my personal opinion? Both of you shouldn’t be blaming each other for your abject failure to win a match you should’ve won. You should be blaming yourselves. Centurion, you should look in the mirror and question if you’re this big name that you think you are because Flynn REALLY made you his bitch when he made you tap out.

And Sidney? What happened to you, grandma? You had the world in the palm of your hands and now you’re losing it in record time: first the championship you had, now WarGames. You know why I came after you? Because you’re EMBARRASSING! Your shtick is NAUSEATING! You’re older than MY MOTHER… by at least a decade, if not more… and that’s SAYING SOMETHING… if being eliminated at the end by NED KAYE doesn’t say that you’re already veering toward “flash in the pan” territory…

But you know who ISN’T a flash in the pan? You know who IS actually a young, natural beauty?

ME!

On paper, the odds don’t look great for me. But hey, your little fuckfest with each other? It’s going to fuck BOTH of you over in the end when the “relative unknown” WINS against the so called “big shots” of Anarchy.

Chelsea laughs before she makes her exit.