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Zane Norrison · (11-07-2020)

"Well, ladies and gentleman, it has finally happened. I have been placed on a team with Peter Gilmour. Somehow, I managed to work for this company for two years and avoid partnering up with this man and at long last, I have been tossed onto a team with Peter. I'm not sure how I should feel about this situation. I mean, in one sense the guy has been employed with this company for centuries, he's a legend and he has gone toe to toe with some iconic wrestlers. Yet synchronously, he's also kind of a tool bag. His foot is literally a permanent fixture in his mouth. He's fucking obnoxious. Still, he has a semi-decent track record and while personality wise, he isn't winning any awards, he can hold his own in a fight. Which I guess is something to be said. Having a partner that can actually wrassle. The match that we're slated to participate in is a tornado tag, which basically means it's fair game for anyone to get pinned or to do the pinning. Everyone is in the ring, brawling it out, all at once. Scheduled as our opponents for this bout is... Ash Quinn and Jenny Myst."

"Yeeesh. Jenny Myst. Probably my least favorite female in the XWF. Seriously, I don't know how my girlfriend Nyx, put up with her. She's so god damn, insufferable. Everything wrong with the female population, she is the embodiment of it. If she was the last woman alive, I might consider switching teams. Yuck! For real! Could you picture that grotesque, gremlin coming at you, attempting to 'get with you' and partake in the naked tango. How would you ever get clean after that and the stench, would forever taint your body."

"The smell is that of a mixture of moldy cheese, fish and wet garbage, on a hot, sticky, humid summer afternoon. It wafts from her nasty, disease riddled, snatch. It's like her vagina is haunted with foul odor ghosts, they radiate right through her underwear and pants, that's how strong the repulsive stink, permeates the air. I can't imagine how anyone would endure, being around her, when she hasn't got anything on. I'm lucky I don't need oxygen and can stop breathing, when I'm around her cause... that smell! It could take paint off of the walls! It could be used as chemical warfare and is only rivaled by her hideous appearance. However, I will say this... her looks, definitely match her personality. Jenny is a vapid, chore of a woman. One minute around her is a minute too long and it seems to stretch on, for an eternity."

"There was this one time, I made the mistake of entering a room that she was standing in and talking at everyone because lets face it, no one wants to get into a conversation with this girl. So she has to talk at people, like aim her words in their general direction or else she simply would never be heard. Ever. And it would be sweet. Alas that's a reality we can only dream of happening cause it's never going to occur. We have a better chance of Peter Gilmour starting a feminist movement. It just isn't going to happen. Anyhow, I walked into a room where Jenny was squawking up a storm and... BAM! I lost consciousness! I blacked out and hit the floor. Like a sack of so many potatoes. That's how terrible her words were. My body shut itself off."

"Hahaha! Nah. I'm only kidding. I have a stronger tolerance than that but I did get the fuck out of there as quickly as I could. I don't even know what she was prattling on about. Some kinda ridiculous nonsense that made me want to turn my mind off and flee. Cause everything that comes out of her mouth is positively horrendous. You feel mentally exhausted, as soon as the sound of her voice, hits you. Like you've been up for days. I'm not even close to fooling around here. Her words are toxic and the fact that she never has anything of value to say or contribute verbally, makes it all the worse. If anything her words decrease your intelligence. You feel stupider after having heard her speak."

"I'm certain the feeling is most likely mutual, I doubt she'll have anything kind to say about me but at the same time, I don't particularly give a shit. I might actually be more insulted if she fancied me. I'd start wondering what was wrong with me cause she's romantically involved with Chris Chaos and that man is just awful. He's a fucking train wreck. I honestly don't know how he gets up everyday and carries himself through life. With that being said, I'm glad he's around because he is the perfect match for Jenny Myst and their involvement with each other, eliminates them from contaminating society, in any further capacity. "

"For instance, if they were to date other people. Rather than be in a relationship with each other. That would be a crime against humanity. I only pray they never procreate and successfully have children cause holy shit, whatever wretched creature that they would wind up spawning is not meant for this world. I say that and I'm an undead abomination. A zombie with an insatiable craving for brains, one scratch from me and I could start the apocalypse. No joke. I could start the end of days and yet, I'm not even close to being as terrifying as the ungodly, offspring of Chris and Jenny. Nevertheless, I think we're safe, since Jenny is a succubus and most likely would devour her young, seconds after birth. It's disturbing to fathom the thought but it could be worse, they could raise the child to adulthood and then the world would have to deal with it. Now that would be a real bane of existence. Oh the horror... the horror."

"Enough on that though, no need to focus on the possibilities of curses bequeathed onto civilization, especially when we don't technically have to plague our thoughts with such terrors. It's bad enough I have to participate in a match against Jenny. I have to focus on hatchet face for me to be able to fight her, still I don't need to waste all my thoughts and words on her. Y'know what... fuck it, maybe I'll let Peter beat the tar out of her and I'll place all my attention on, Ash Quinn."

"Not cause I don't think I can handle fighting Jenny, I simply don't want to touch her. Ugh. So gross. I bet she's slimy too. She looks like she would be coated in goo or some sorta grease. Unidentified lubrication, too. Like you're unaware of anything besides the aspect that it's oily and everywhere. You can't touch her, without getting it on your hands. Plus the source won't ever be discovered either, it purely seems like it's secreting from her body. Fucking disgusting. Merely mentioning it makes me wanna puke. Projectile, exorcist style, vomit. Like the sick is being shot out of me, the same way water would blast out of a fire hose. Only way more violent and forceful. With some real kick and distance, behind those spewing chunks. That shit will be virtually, firing out of me, man. Oh fuck. I'm not eating anything before the fight because that'll be a waste of brains and I need those for sustenance and to prevent the end of the world. I can't be wasting brains like that."

"Yikes! The things I do to further my career in the XWF!"

"Oh well, at least it's not all bad. I also get to face Ash Quinn. The polar opposite of Jenny Myst. While Jenny is an intolerable, slog that is unjustifiably arrogant and assertive, Ash Quinn, is in all important respects, a delight. She must've lost a bet to get clumped up with that trash bag, Jenny Myst. I'm actually looking forward to facing Ash and while she is a lady of few words, the things she says is both decisive and impactful. It also doesn't hurt that she's super adorable, as well. I'd never act on that thought though cause I'm taken and faithful to my girlfriend, Nyx. Still, I have eyes and I'm straight, therefore I can realize the fact that she's cute. Really cute."

"It's too bad that's going to change, after our match. Because I am not going to hold back, based on the fact that she's a fairly attractive, tiny, petite woman. She's in the XWF for fuck's sake. She knew what she was getting into when she got a job with the company. This is a wrestling federation. Not a tea party with stuffed animals and miniature cakes. People sign up for shows in order to fight. To throw down and really battle it out. And this is one of the most extreme wrestling federations in existence, the folks that fight here don't mess around. That's why I love working here. People might think that I haven't done much with my career but I believe I accomplished quite a bit. I've held titles, been star of the month and fought in some of the most brutal matches of all time and I survived. Well... sort of... survived. I am a zombie after all and that has allowed me to do things that others can't pull off. Like getting decapitated. Not many individuals can say they had their head removed and then, continue onward to fight another day."

"So Jenny... Ash, remember that when we're all in the ring. I am an animated corpse. What the fuck are you going to do to me? Huh? I'm already dead. How are you going to put me down? On top of that, I'm unyielding and relentless. You will get tired and weak, I won't. Knock me down and I'll get back up. Over and over again. I'll keep coming at you. Endlessly. I'm also packing an infection worse than any known virus. One bite. One scratch. Shit. I could kiss you and you'll be cursed. Forever. Infected with a need to consume brains."

"Awww... don't worry, I wouldn't do that to either of you. Or would I... nah, I wouldn't. I would do everything in my power to claim victory though. This I promise you. I will unleash a fury upon you and neither of you, will ever be the same. You both will learn that monsters do exist and the rage that they possess is very real. Come Wednesday Night Warfare, the nightmare that you experience within the squared circle, won't end, till I end it. There won't be any waking up and the suffering that you will feel, will be legendary."

"See you in the ring, girlies."

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